Welcome to Galilee Gulch. Baby Billy water-skiing naked, extensive shots of his dong and butt that made some viewers mad. "Why we got to see that? Why can't we see Amber's stuff? Every man on Earth, without exception, loves looking at breasts!" Um...you've heard about gay men, right?
Then the Gemstones and Milsaps arrive at Galilee Gulch, a huge "lake house" on Lake Marion, about an hour north of Charleston. Coincidentally, the house where they filmed is owned by a gay couple.
Pontius complains; Gideon tells him to not disrespect the lake house, and makes him carry a bag. He says "Get a life, you dork!" Abraham agrees: "Such a little ass-kiss." Abraham has only two lines this season, both about butts. Got something on your mind, Buddy?
Some cute attendants, who aren't in the cast list, take care of the wheelchair-using BJ, who complains that the whole place is inaccessible. He'll be constantly complaining about everything through the episode.Keefe wants to go waterskiing naked, like Uncle Baby Billy, but Kelvin doesn't want to hang dong with his uncle. Then he forces Keefe to carry the gigantic trunk full of shoes into the house. That's no way to treat your partner, buddy. At least he calls Keefe "Sweetheart."
Baby Billy's Breakup Plan: Uncle Baby Billy disapproves of the Eli-Lori relationship -- we aren't told why, but maybe he knows something from Lori's past -- and pushes the siblings into a plan to break them up. The siblings point out that they arranged this weekend retreat because the lake house is full of Aimee-Leigh's things, and will certainly cause Eli to feel guilty about "abandoning Mama." Maybe they can push things along.
They tell the staff to leave Aimee-Leigh's clothes in Eli's bedroom. Angry, he calls "the help" and has them all moved into Kelvin and Keefe's room.
Kelvin is pretending to read the complete works of William Shakespeare. Another clue that we're in the middle of Hamlet.
The New Nanny: Baby Billy is being nasty to his wife and children ("Get them out of here!"), and expresses his hatred for the butch Germanic nanny, Sola (Kirsten Schultze). So why not fire her?
Gideon is Gay: Friday dinner. Kelvin, Keefe, Abraham, and BJ are playing blackjack, the others sitting around a kitchen island. Jesse gets jealous because Gideon is sitting next to Eli, and they shared a joke.
Jesse is treating Gideon as a romantic partner who is cheating on him. That is not really happening, of course, but it is heavily implied that Gideon is gay, for the first time since Season 1. There are queer codes about Pontius and Abraham, too. It's starting to look like Jesse has three gay sons.
Corey apologizes for his reaction to Eli/Lori, and brings in 100 pounds of barbecued pork.
.jpg)
Jesse's Breakup Plan: After dinner, Keefe goes swimming (distant beefcake shot), and the others hang out or play cornhole. Corey thinks that Eli is good for his Mama, better than Big Dick Mitch at the Benz dealership, who she used to date, or is still dating -- he's not sure.
Left: Muscle guy from Munich.
Jesse can use this! He rushes over to Eli and Lori and brings up Big Dick Mitch in "casual conversation." Eli gets upset and storms away.
Later, in the bedroom, Lori claims that she doesn't know where Jesse got that idea. She only dated Mitch twice; they had no chemistry. Then how does Corey know about the size of his dick? They discuss whether to keep it casual, allow dating other people, or "go steady." Go steady it is.
Dress-Me-Ups: The staff has moved Aimee-Leigh's clothes into Kelvin and Keefe's bedroom! Kelvin shoves them into a closet, and then joins Keefe to cuddle on the bed.
Keefe is reading an obscure comic book called The Zero Patrol, from 1984. Only two issues were published. The hero is telling someone named Dedalus that "The Princess is still mine." Daedalus was Keefe's Satanist friend in Season 1; maybe we're looking at Keefe's attempt to protect Kelvin from the Darkness. Or maybe the prop master just grabbed something that had a muscleman on the cover and wasn't Marvel or DC.
He sets the comic aside so they can watch Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981), the scene where psycho-killer Jason is shown worshipping the mummified head of his dead mother. A parallel to the siblings' worship of Aimee-Leigh. Kelvin gets scared and buries his head into Keefe's crotch (dude, are you scared or horny?), but Keefe assures him that "she's just doing dress-me-ups." .
Like a Hallmark Movie: Saturday morning. The Nanny practices her kung-fu. Baby Billy berates her again.
Cut to a montage of everyone water-skiing, while BJ looks on, angry.
Later, the siblings discuss Lori and Eli again. Amber thinks it's like a Hallmark movie: two old friends fall in love. Jesse berates her and insults her knowledge of movies.
So far Jesse, Judy, Baby Billy, and Corey have berated and yelled at their partners. These relationships are doomed.
Kelvin's Breakup Plan: The family gathers for a performance. Keefe is waving at the stage with a toy dinosaur, a shot which appeared in the trailer, making fans think that he and Kelvin had kids. No, he's waving at Kelvin. Why is a 40-year old man holding a toy dinosaur?
In a parallel to the play "wherein I'll catch the conscience of the king" in Hamlet, the siblings sing -- badly --about how Mama is in the house, judging everyone, disapproving of the "betrayal." Eli storms off. Feeling guilty, Claudius?
More after the break
And this one of BJ and the nephews hanging out, with the cute attendant in the background (still can't find him on the IMDB). Abraham is shirtless, but only 16, not old enough to be a hunk. Maybe a hunkoid.
Keefe decides on the next best thing: dress-me-ups. He puts on one of Aimee-Leigh's dresses, her wig, her glasses, and some makeup (wait -- where did he get makeup?), goes to Eli's room, and tries to haunt him: "I'm the ghost of your dead wife. Break up with Lori."
Eli doesn't respond, so Keefe crawls on top of him and starts singing Aimee-Leigh's signature song, "Misbehavin'"
"Who are you?" she shouts.
First he consorted with Hot Stuff, the Little Devil, and now he's Casper the Friendly Ghost.
Everyone rushes downstairs to see what's going on.
Keefe hides behind the siblings as Eli yells "What kind of prank is this? You ruined what could have been a perfect weekend."
Kelvin counters that he ruined it by turning his back on Aimee-Leigh.
Jesse admits that they invited him to the lake house to trick him into breaking up with Lori: "If you weren't so busy trying to insert yourself into my son's life, you'd have figured that out. Stop trying to insert yourself into my son!" Yet another double-entendre implying an erotic relationship between Eli and Gideon.
Pontius smirks and nudges Gideon, knowing full well that he is gay. His Granddad may not have "inserted himself" into him, but other guys have. I'm looking at you, Scotty from Season 1.
The Family Photo: Early Sunday morning. Eli gazes out onto the lake and gets a vision of Aimee-Leigh boating with his children, a memory of happier days. She waves; he turns his back on her a second time, and heads into the house
At breakfast, they discuss the incidents of the weekend and how angry Eli is. BJ points out that he has a right to be mad, since the whole trip was a ruse.
They decide to apologize, and fist bump.
Eli Comes: The siblings rush upstairs, and burst into the bedroom -- without knocking? -- where Eli and Lori are doing 69! I was not aware that heterosexuals engage in that activity. Eli screams, but Lori serenely says "Hey."
Lori's reaction is very strange, not at all what you would expect from someone has just been interrupted in an intimate moment -- by her boyfriend's children! It's as if she's gloating over her victory.
Downstairs, the siblings scream that they have been traumatized by the sight of their father in that position. Well, don't burst into his bedroom. Eli follows to explain (again) that he hasn't forgotten about Aimee-Leigh, as he picks a hair out of his teeth, and, as Judy points out, pre-cum is leaking out and wetting his pants. They scream "Daddy came! Daddy came!" and then simultaneously "Fuck!" The end.
My Analysis: This was a lightweight, enjoyable episode,like the Cousin's Night episode of Season 3: the calm before the storm, with only a few hints of the trouble ahead. Lori continues to be set up as the primary antagonist, but what could her goal be, if it's not the Gemstone money? Something is definitely off with Corey and the way he treats his wife.
Richie Rich joins a gym. With Rory and Kieran c*ocks, and Kelvin Gemstone comics. Mentions Casper the Friendly Ghost.
Gavin Munn's Polar Plunge; plus Tony's cold dip, a bondage hookup, and some n*de dudes in the snow. Gavin six months after filming is still just a hunkoid, not yet a hunk.
Kelton's Hot/Hung Photos, Part 4: Birthday biceps, bare bums, rugger dicks, and brothers for life.
No comments:
Post a Comment