Previous: Episode 3.1, Continued: Kelvin withholds sex, Judy cheats and Jesse fights, with some random butts
Episode 3.2 introduces Eli's estranged brother-in-law Peter Montgomery, his sons, and a disturbing super-macho mirror of Kelvin's God Squad.
Title: "But Esau Ran to Meet Him," from Genesis 33.4. Jacob has tricked his father Isaac into giving him the inheritance. Esau is furious and vows to kill him, so he flees. When he returns after 20 years, Esau behaves as if he is happy to see him, but....
Stephen's abusive wife: Stephen, who was fired as Judy's guitarist after her brothers discovered their affair, is trying to tell his wife Kristy that he was "laid off," not fired. She doesn't buy it. It's a highly abusive relationship: she calls him "an unemployed, cokehead piece of shit who sulks all day." He screams "Fuck you!", and she hits him with a glass blender. Shattered glass all over his face and head, in front of the kids! Whoa, scary. The Gemstones and their partners argue, but they never use abusive language or physical violence. Except for the time that Amber shot Jesse in the butt.
Later, Judy meets Stephen at Spanky's Cafe, a real restaurant in North Charleston, and offers him $10,000 to leave her alone: "I don't want to see you no' mo'." But he still wants her. Judy points out that he's married, but it doesn't matter: "I'd leave my family in a second if I could have you. I'd murder them." Say what? This guy is a psycho. Of course, he should leave his abusive wife, but murder her...and the kids?
Kelvin's Butt Buddies: Jesse and Amber's adult son Gideon, who moved to California to become a stuntman, is back, lying on the veranda in a bathrobe, smoking a cigarette, holding a box of Lucky Charms cereal, and sulking. The background song by Buddy Knox tells us: "I think I'm going to kill myself." He injured his neck, and may never do stunt work, tumbling, or martial arts again. At least he's displaying a nice chest.
Background alert: Skyler Gisondo injured his neck in real life in 2022, when his hair stylist gave him a "little neck massage." They wrote his injury into the script.
In a much, much nicer parallel to the Stephen-Kristy confrontation, Gideon's parents order him to stop feeling sorry for himself, get off his butt, and go to work for the church. But he doesn't want to preach. Ok, so he can become Eli's driver. Remember that the long-term driver, Walker, was fired.
We cut to Gideon on his first assignment, driving Eli and the siblings to see if May-May's kids are ok. They are living with her estranged husband, Peter Montgomery, and his militia, the Brotherhood of Tomorrow's Fires: they expect end of civilization, like Eli's Y2K scare back in 1999. Eli calles them preppers: "They want to make sure they don't run out of toilet paper."
Usually Evangelicals believe in the Rapture, when Jesus zaps everyone who is saved to Heaven, leaving the unsaved to suffer through seven years of the dystopian Tribulation before being sent to hell. To this day, I will not let anyone stamp my hand for re-entry into an event, because the Mark of the Beast was drummed into my head. But Eli and Peter apparently have a different belief system.
On the way to the compound, at the defunct Boy Scout Camp Wooden Feather, the siblings discuss their cousins, Karl and Chuck. Kelvin says that he always found them "kind of dumb and strange." But you haven't seen them since 2000, when you were ten or eleven. How much do you remember?
Not the God Squad: Bizarre signs like "Now we will see" greet the family, along with multiple armed guards. They pass Jacob (Stephen Louis Grush) cutting up a deer. Kelvin smiles at him -- think he's hot, buddy?. Then a military-style obstacle course; guys practicing martial arts; a guy taking a shower outdoors (no beefcake); and finally the mess hall, where about thirty militia men are having lunch.
Judy: "That's why I'm surprised you weren't butt buddies with them."
He gets annoyed, not because she alludes to him being gay but because she implied that he's also "dumb and strange," and therefore perfect for the Montgomerys.
Not the God Squad: Bizarre signs like "Now we will see" greet the family, along with multiple armed guards. They pass Jacob (Stephen Louis Grush) cutting up a deer. Kelvin smiles at him -- think he's hot, buddy?. Then a military-style obstacle course; guys practicing martial arts; a guy taking a shower outdoors (no beefcake); and finally the mess hall, where about thirty militia men are having lunch.
Wait -- no women and children? The actual far-right militia movement has many female participants, but this is a male-only space, like Kelvin's God Squad in Season 2, but with scruffy guys in military fatigues instead of flexing musclemen. It is dedicated to phileo instead of eros, buddy-bonding instead of homoerotic desire. An article on Doomsday Preppers notes that these male-only groups "cultivate a dangerous vision of apocalyptic manhood that consummates a fantasy of national virility in the demise of feminine society." Women are weak and fragile, their civilization doomed. Only the "manly love of comrades" can survive the Apocalypse.
May-May's son Chuck ushers Eli and the siblings in. They are greeted by Cousin Karl (Robert Oberst), who is delighted to see them; and Uncle Peter (Steve Zahn, below), who is not. It's time for church, so get out! No, the siblings offer to help lead the service: Jesse will preach, Judy will sing, and Kelvin will perform some "feats of strength" for the kids -- the only time he references his muscles during the season. No kids around, but maybe the militia guys would like to see some masculine beauty.
Uncle Peter rejects the siblings' offer. They are "phony fakers," entertainers, interested in making money rather than saving souls.
Kelvin's Gay Friend: At the Salvation Center, Jesse, Kelvin, and designer Percy (Aaron Goldenberg) are going over the plans for the new executive boardroom. Percy has a gay-stereotyped name and occupation, so we can safely identify him as gay.
Background Alert: Aaron Goldenberg and Jake Jonez' video sketches, with the Mean Gays invading your dinner party, rejecting you as a hookup, and so on, have gone viral, with upwards of 35 million views across social media platforms. In 2024, they "invaded" the Razzie Awards, giving them a national spotlight.
Back in the board room, Kelvin lays on the campy behavior and criticizes Judy's choice of color scheme, becoming a hip-wiggling, eye-rolling, sassy Queer Eye for the Straight Guy host. He has been swishing like a Mean Gay all season, making sure that anyone who talks to him for a moment will figure "it" out.
When Martin comes in to tell them about a meeting with the Board of Ministers, Jesse orders Percy to "get the f* out," but Kelvin says goodbye nicely, while fiddling with his "wedding ring." Why is Kelvin being nice to him? In universe, he recognizes another gay person. Structurally, we learn that Kelvin has gay friends. He and Keefe are closeted, but not isolated: they are participating in the local LGBT community.
Personal note: I liked the idea of a Percy-Kelvin friendship that I wrote it into some fan fiction stories.
Gaslighting BJ: The siblings visit Eli at his fishing cabin to reveal that the Board of Ministers is "disgruntled," unhappy with how they are running the church. But Eli refuses help: he won't always be around, and they have to learn to work together to solve their problems.
Then Judy and BJ's Date Night: they leave the theater, discussing how cool it was to go to a movie and throw popcorn at people's heads. "Lately we haven't been on the same page," Judy comments. BJ doesn't know what she's talking about, so she digs herself in deeper, claiming that they were "on a break" when she was on tour. Uh-oh, when you are on a break, you can see other people.
When he protests, she gaslights him, claiming that he said it. Manipulative, but not nearly as crazy as last season's Judy.
Where's Keefe? Judy/BJ and Kelvin/Keefe scenes almost always run parallel, so we should see the guys having marital problems immediately before or after Judy gaslights BJ. But Keefe does not appear in this episode; we see Kelvin swishing it up in the board room instead. This suggests that Kelvin's conflict is not with Keefe, but rather with his new position of authority. It's one thing to be obviously gay while doing low prestige, nearly invisible jobs, and quite another to be gay while running the church.
Peter is Bat Shit Crazy: Time for church in the militia compound. While the men sing "Power in the Blood." the feds raid! Guys are being grabbed, assaulted, even shot and killed! Cousins Karl and Chuck manage to escape, even though the guy in front of them is grabbed.
They run to the "safe house": a middle-aged women is sitting on a chair in the woods, making a sandwich while half-naked kids frolick. It is a surreal scene. Who is she? A militia man's wife? A nature spirit? The guardian of the underworld? She wordlessly points to a nearby cabin where ten or twelve militia guys have gathered, and we return to ordinary time.
Peter wants to know who alerted the feds -- the Gemstones? And why did Karl and Chuck invite them in the first place? Are they traitors?
"No, Mama invited the Gemstones. We had nothing to do with it."
Peter doesn't believe them. To get them to confess, he cuts part of Jacob's ear off! Karl intervenes, and Peter orders his men to get him. The Cousins run. Whoa, is he planning to disfigure his children? This is even more toxic that Stephen-Kristy, like Kelvin's tyrannical rule of the God Squad times a thousand.
Cut to Gideon driving Eli to a cheap motel, where Chuck, Karl, and May-May are hiding. Peter is gunning for them -- and for the Gemstones. His goons are parked right outside. So you ask Eli to come to your hotel and get spotted by the goons? Good thinking, Sis.
The Shoe-Throwing Match: The Board of Ministers, representing every area of church administration, from finance to end-of-life services, want to know the siblings' plan for handling the declining membership. They can't think of anything except an impromptu catch phrase, "We three and thee." You were notified of this meeting far in advance, plenty of time to think of a plan. The meeting devolves into a shoe-throwing fight. Kelvin continues to promote femme-gay behavior by wearing a glittery vest.
Meanwhile, Eli agrees to hide the Montgomery Boys in his mansion. To escape Peter's goons, Gideon has do some fancy stunt driving, crash a few cars, plow through a golf course, and slam on the brakes to make his assailants crash into each other -- just below a "were you injured at work?" ambulance-chaser billboard. The end.
Work problems, marital problems, and now a militia gunning for them. The siblings are spiraling!
See also: Aaron Goldenberg: Former fundamentalist, Cousin Karl's boyfriend, Mean Gay
Kelvin rebounds into the arms of Probably Gay Percy
Jak and Kelton visit the Citadel: Beach day, dick day, wrestling, modeling, and a tour of the campus
Next: Episode 3.3: Baby Billy sings forever, Kelvin can't say the word, BJ poses nude, and I'm depressed
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