Gemstones Episode 1.9: Kelvin goes dark, Keefe goes down, and Captain America saves the day. With a Haitian dick bonus.

Episode 1.8 ended with all of the Gemstone siblings and their partners broken up, plus Gideon cast out from the family.  It's going to take a lot of work to make things right again.  

Title: "Better is the end of the thing than the beginning." Ecclesiastes 7:9.  Not things being over: at the beginning of the task, there are many problems ahead, many ways that things could go wrong, a lot of pain and sadness.  At the end, you can relax and enjoy the results of your hard work.

Chicken bone voodoo:  After a flashback to Aimee-Leigh's death (and a bee that will re-appear later in the episode),we cut to Eli finding about about the blackmail, Jesse's assault of Rev. Seasons, and Judy's embezzlement. Kelvin stood by and let them do things that he knew were wrong, so he's just as guilty. Eli angrily fires them all. 

Later, Amber tells Jesse that if he wants to reconcile, he'll have to go to Haiti, where Gideon is doing missionary work, and bring him back. Their conversation is surprisingly racist, referencing chicken bone voodoo, AIDS, and cannibalism.

Jesus never dated much: Sibling movie night at Kelvin's house ((notice the K and the arcade game behind their couch).  They're watching The Neverending Story., at the scene where Artax  horse/companion of the hero Atreyu (Noah Hathaway), is literally consumed by his sadness, sinking to his death.  Atreyu yells: "Fight against the sadness. You have to try. You have to care. You're my friend.  I love you."  Suddenly Kelvin bursts into tears 

In the movie, the Childlike Empress is sick, thus allowing the Darkness (hopelessmess, despair) to slowly devour the Kingdom of Fantasia.  Young hero Atreyu is looking for a cure to save Fantasia, but he is unable to save his horse/friend Artax.  Maybe Kelvin is thinking of how he couldn't save Keefe from his own Sadness:  "My emotions are all over the place. I feel like I'm coming unhinged." The siblings ignore him, so he repeats: I'm in emotional turmoil, dealing with some very painful questions about myself."  

"For real?"  Jesse immediately becomes serious.  Remember, he thinks that Kelvin is gay, but in denial.  Is he ready to come out?

Nope.  "I've always felt like, maybe, I'm Him."  He's always felt like he is Jesus? Say what?  Dude, that's full-blown psychosis.

Actually, many cult leaders claim to be Jesus.  Wikipedia lists 40 in the 20th and 21st centuries alone, including Jim Jones, Marshall Applewhite, Charles Manson, Shoko Asahara, David Koresh.  It doesn't usually end well.

Kevin's reasons: we both care about people; people like us, and want to follow us. Wait -- you just have one follower, Keefe, and he's not worshipping you.  He gets on his knees for another reason entirely.  

Plus: "(Jesus) didn't date much, didn't have the urge or the need to.  That's me for days."  Fans sometimes use this line to argue that Kelvin is asexual, not experiencing desire for anyone, but in a heteronormative society, surely he means "urge or need to date women."  I'm sticking with the theory that Kelvin was out there breaking his celibacy promise, shoving his cock through the glory holes at Club Sinister every night, and feeling guilty about it the next morning.  

Jesse, aware of another reason for Kelvin's lack of interest in women, assures him that he's not Jesus, but "that doesn't mean you're not a decent man."  Notice that he uses the term "man," signifying that Kelvin is grown-up, an adult, regardless of his sexual identity.

But Kelvin doesn't buy it.  Another voice is telling him, "If you can't be him, maybe you can be me...Satan."  We know from the Satanic Sweep and the Club Sinister rescue that, in Kelvin's eyes, Satan is all about sex, or sex is all about Satan.  The only way he can explain his homoerotic desire, and maybe his homoerotic intimacy, is by fashioning himself "the Dark Lord of the family."  After all of this, how did fans continue to argue that Kelvin was straight?

He's very tired -- he hasn't been sleeping well lately. Because he usually shares his bed with Keefe?  And he misses Mama, who used to tell him that everything's gonna be ok.  She's gone, so Jesse and Judy step up: "Everything's gonna be ok.  You'll get it figured out."  It's not hard to figure out, Dude.  Lots of people are gay.

Before we continue, some bonus Haitian guys. 

I think he's from Jamaica

He's not my boyfriend:  Earlier in the episode, Kelvin reveals that "he's coming apart," certain that his lack of interest in women and recent forays into "darkness" signify that he is the Devil.  The siblings tried to comfort him, but apparently it didn't help: he shows up at the teen group wearing a Goth teddy outfit, mascara, pale lipstick, dark glasses, and shiny vinyl pants, and announces "I have transformed myself into something Dark."  He's not Jesus, but a vile creature of sin.  He must leave them.  

But his replacement, Ronald Meyers (Josh Warren), is "pure": chubby, greasy-haired, an assistant manager at the GameStop.  One can't help but conclude that "pure" means "never had sex," a contrast with Kelvin, who obvioulsy has. 

Kelvin makes a dramatic exit.  Dot Nancy, whom he rescued from Club Sinister, scoffs, as if to say "What an idiot!", and follows. "Is this about your boyfriend?"  Notice that she is not being pejorative; she honestly believes that they are a gay couple.  

Kelvin corrects her:  "Ok, no, he's not my boyfriend. We're just a couple dudes who like to hang out. Why?"  He's being awfully nonchalant -- compare Season 3, where "rumors swirling around" drive him into a panic.  He's already the Dark Lord, a being infused by homoerotic desire, so why get upset over a simple mistake?

Fans who insist that "Kelvin is straight!" often point to this statement, but maybe they're not "boyfriends," partners in a caring, emotionally-fulfilling relationship.  Kelvin believes that Satan is all about sex, not love, so whatever he feels for Keefe -- whatever he does with Keefe -- must be driven solely by lust.   

More after the break

That will all change in a moment, when Dot shows him Keefe's instagram page. He has returned to his old job as Baby Queef, a performance artist at Club Sinister: "The baby is back!"  and "Haven't I fallen far enough?"  

Responses from fans: "I'm psyched!  I can't wait!"  "We're off to never-never land!" 

Yelling "No, no, no," Kelvin rushes off. Why is he fine with turning into the Dark Lord, but upset when Keefe becomes one of his followers?  Maybe because his transformation was all about wallowing in self-pity, while Keefe's is for real. He is about to be destroyed, spiritually, psychologically, and maybe even physically.

Gideon in Haiti: Before we can find out what happens next with Kelvin and Keefe, we cut to Gideon in Haiti: colorful "third world" shots of goats, a taverna, Gideon  meeting a group of k*ds, and so on.  The Water 2 Haiti ministry reflects the real Water for Life, which has been sponsoring well digging and irrigation since 1983. 

Jesse tracks Gideon down and asks him to come home. He refuses: he's doing missionary work to expiate his sins, so he can find peace.   Jesse will have to find anothe way to reconcile with Amber.

Check out his reaction when Jesse notes that Scotty has died: eyes wide, mouth agape, trying to restrain a whimper.  Sure, the guy robbed and assaulted him, but he was still Gideon's first boyfriend, and apparently really good in bed.

BJ is Shocked:  Back to the Gemstone Compound, night.  BJ wants to do a grand gesture to get Judy back (you dumped her, remember?), but Brock the Security Guard makes fun of his name and won't let him in (he lived there before the breakup -- wouldn't Brock know him and let him by default?).  

Rejected at the gate, BJ says "It's time to be a man" and finds an isolated place with a fence he can climb over.  We get a good view of the amusement park as he sneaks through.   But the stealth plan doesn't work:  he is surrounded by security guards and tazed, killed in a death-and-resurrection scene.

A Transitive State: Meanwhile, Kelvin is trying a grand gesture of his own (you dumped him, remember?). He arrives at Club Sinister with yet another party going on (or is there always a party in the Satanic realm?)  He pushes through the crowd (and, significantly, shrinks back with audible “Ewww!” at the sight of a naked lady), and finds Keefe's old friend Daedalus.  

"Keefe is discovering some things about himself," he says. What does Keefe not know about himself?  Surely he knew that he was gay.  

Then: "I transformed him back into the earliest state of his being. He's sinking beneath his reality as we speak.  He's regressing to a transitive state."  I couldn't find an exact meaning for this phrase, but it probably means a state where you can be transformed into a different person.  

Kelvin threatens him: “Take me to him right now! I will f*ck you up!”  

Daedalus immediately backs down and leads Kelvin to a private room.  Keefe is floating in a milky liquid like amniotic fluid, wearing a gimp outfit with his genitals exposed.  This is performance art: party guests are watching him descend past the womb into oblivion. Some are inhaling or drinking his life force.

Tony Cavalero notes that the fluid is composed of watered-down Elmer's Glue which, combined with the lubricant used to squeeze him into the gimp suit, had the look, feel, and taste of jizz (let's ask ourselves how Tony knows what it tastes like).  Keefe is drowning in jizz!

Kelvin thinks that Satan offers strength and power; you become a Dark Lord.  But he is wrong.  You become nothing, absorbed and obliterated by the Sadness.

He pushes away the "hissinig demons,"  ignores Keefe's semi-erect penis, jumps in, and starts tearing off the tubes and wires. Um...dude, he gets oxygen from those.  The mask comes off: it is Satan, not God, who forces us to live in masks, hide who we are from the world.

Kelvin kisses Keefe's  forehead and presses their faces together, crying and yelling "Fuck the Sadness."  This is a call-back to Atreyu yelling "Fight the Sadness" in The Neverending Story earlier.   Finally Keefe returns, gasping and sputtering, to the world of the living.  He explains:  “I was so lost without you…then the Beast came for me, and I let it in.  Hold me.” Kelvin responds: “Shh.  I’m here now.”  

"I'm still really high.": a kicker to add some levity to a critical scene.

Tony Cavalero states that he and Adam were going to play it for laughs.  Then director Jody Hill told them that this scene was an "affirmation of their love."  So they played it with real emotional intensity, and ended up in tears

 This is not a spiritual leader saving his disciple, or a good buddy saving a friend; Keefe is the damsel in distress in a 1940s movie serial or superhero comic book, rescued from certain doom, whispering "if it weren't for you, I'd be...." before the fade out kiss.

For example here Captain America saves Bucky from a sinister mad scientist.

From being gassed to death.

 

A full-grown adult man:  To complete the parallel Kelvin/Keefe and Judy/BJ stories, Judy retrieves BJ from the compound's security office.  He explains that he is now "a full-grown adult man," so he wants romance, not just a sexual thing. Are you listening, Kelvin?  "Let me teach you about relationships."  She agrees.

The siblings just have to reconcile with their Dad and retrieve the offering money from Baby Billy (who incidentally, dies from a lightning strike and is resurrected by a bee sting).  One more Haitian guy, and we're ready for the season finale.

See: Dakare Chatman: singer, dancer, Christ-follower, conservative spokesperson, LGBT ally

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Keefe's Capacious Cock: Where does Tony end and the prosthetic begin?

Superhero Sidekicks in Bondage

Noah Hathaway

Next: Season 1 Finale: Judy and Kelvin begin to heal, Scotty joins the family