Thursday, November 30, 2023

"The Treasure of Foggy Mountain": Enough beefcake, queer codes, or dick pics to subscribe to Peacock for? With a random Adam Devine butt pic


Please Don't Destroy is a sketch comedy group consisting of  Ben Marshall (left), Martin Herlihy (right), and John Higgins (below), who have graduated from the short films of your dad's generation to TikTok videos.  They were hired to write for Saturday Night Live in 2021, and their first movie just dropped on Peacock: The Treasure of Foggy Mountain.  I want to know if it's worth subscribing to Peacock to see it, so I've been checking trailers, synopses, and reviews for gay characters, gay subtexts, and beefcake.

The plot:
Like Adam, Anders, and Blake of Workaholics, the three play "themselves" as clueless dudebros who live together, work together, and haven't quite made it to adulthood --  which in movies usually means hetero-romance.  Only Martin has a girlfriend.  Ben wants to impress his Dad by being a business success, and John is content to play video games and drink beer.  They decide to go on one last adventure, searching for a lost treasure, a bust of Marie Antoinette worth several million dollars. 

On the way, they run afoul of a homicidal hawk (who becomes an ally), greedy park rangers, a gang, a cult, fireworks, fist-fights, and danger.  

  Martin already has a girlfriend, and John falls in love with one of the cult girls.  As far as I can tell, Ben stays unattached.  

Gay Characters/Subtext: None that I could tell from the plot synopsis or reviews, but Bowen Yang, who plays the head cultist, is gay in real life and plays a lot of gay roles.  There also might be a queer code in this scene of a communal bath: Martin and Ben are being soaped up by men, and John by a woman.  

: The guys are shirtless at least twice. Also, when they are learning to glide off mountaintops, with the help of their hawk buddy, John's suit busts open, and we see his penis swinging around.  

Penises after the break

Moschino Models: Gay-positive, socially-aware, sometimes naked couture


Moschino Couture is a Milan-based fashion company that specializes in bright colors, reflections of pop culture, and social activism.

Although it produces clothing, accessories, and perfume for men, women, boys, girls, and nonbinary persons, anyone who can afford to pay $300 for a t-shirt, it has a special focus on sexual minorities.  

Gay Boy (parodying Playboy) and Toy Boy (a Bear) are ongoing brands, and there are usually new Pride collections every spring. 

Moschino models regularly appear in Attitude and Adonis Men.

And promoting a healthy lifestyle, with diet, exercise, and meditation

More models after the break

Wednesday, November 29, 2023

Keefe's Capacious Cock, Part 2: The Mushroom Head


Tony Cavalero asks: "Will you be wearing pants after dinner?"  Gee, Tony, why don't we wait, and see how the evening goes?

Ok, he's really referring to the belt-tightening of Thanksgiving Dinner.  


He got the photo from The Righteous Gemstones Season 1, when Keefe comes out of the house without pants, accidentally showing the siblings his junk. Apparently he forgot to put his pants back on after serving Kelvin "dessert."

In case you haven't seen a close-up before.  It's not really a mushroom head, just obscured at the base.  I can't tell if it's a prosthetic or not.

And his butt

See also: Keefe's Capacious Cock

Tony's Hot/Hung Photos, Part 2: A leather jockstrap, an isolation tank, a sausage god, and honeymoon with the hubbie

Tony's Hot/Hung Photos, Part 3: a rooster, a rodent, neopagan penises, Adam Devine, and Corey B's frontside

Workaholics Episode 5.5: Penis jokes and buddy-bonding at a Gay Pride party


Workaholics (2011-17), about a trio of clueless dudebros led by Adam Devine (left), has  gotten very, very bad press: gayness as an insult, weird, reprehensible; the possibility of bromantic partners being attracted to each other presented as "hilarious and absurd."  Devine responded that critics were heterosexual snowflakes looking for a fight; "The gays have a sense of humor.  They get us."

I'm not usually very forgiving about casual homophobia, but I'll check it out.  Episode 5.5, described variously as: "When they go to a gay pride party in the neighborhood, they make fools of themselves pretending to be gay."  or "a wild night at a neighbor's house leads the guys to question their relationship."  Sounds cringy from the get-go.

Note: Workaholics contains a lot of humiliation nudity, both rear and obscured-frontal. 

Scene 1: Telemarketing company boss (the always amazing Jerry O'Connell) is giving a speech about teamwork when the guys come in late; he calls them "young bucks," but they counter that they are "hung bucks....because our things are huge"  Well, whip them out. Tomorrow they have a team-building contest: he demonstrates by falling into the arms of an employee, who catches him.  The guys try falling backwards, but no one catches them, har har.

Scene 2: 
The office bullies brag that they have a "mature adult relationship":  they know each other's biggest regrets and deepest fears.  The guys try to prove that they know about feelings and stuff.  "Adam, what's Der's biggest fear?"  "That his dick is smaller than mine."  So, their schtick is a dick joke every five seconds.  I forgive Keefe for learning about "hard woods" at Woodpecker's Carpentry.

Left: Der (Anders Holm)

That night, while drinking beer on the roof of their house, they try and fail to connect on a deeper level, so they can win the contest.  Suddenly a guy approaches who is working valet for the Pride party down the street, wanting to park cars in their yard.  They think "pride" means MMA, and ask why they weren't invited. He doesn't answer, so they put on their martial arts t-shirts and crash the party.

Scene 3:
  Still thinking that it is a MMA party, they are shocked to see that it's all guys, and there's a giant rainbow "Happy Pride" banner.   

"Ugh... rainbows!  Let's get out of here!"  But then the host points out the hors d'ouvres, and Anders lets out a shrill fruity "Helllooo!"  The reactions are only mildly homophobic: they are uncomfortable around gay men, but not so uncomfortable that they won't stick around for free food.

Left: Blake (Blake Anderson)

They discuss: "Dude, are you pretending to be gay?"  "Well, it's a pretty sweet party.  We don't want to be kicked out."   

The hosts are played by Michael Urie and Tim Bagley, both gay in real life.

The guys continue to pretend that they are gay: "Oh, we're very involved in the scene.  The having sex with guys scene. We're three-way gay with each other."  The hosts wonder why they're pretending: straight guys are welcome.

Scene 4: Getting drunk on free booze, the guys continue their attempt to connect on an emotional level. Meanwhile Adam drinks booze out of a dolphin's snout and exclaims: "If ejack tasted this good, I'd drink it by the gallon!"  Wait, does that mean you know what it tastes like?   They start chanting "We're here, we're queer, we want to drink beer!", to the embarrassment of the other guests.

The pride cake comes out, and of course the guys crash into it.  "What the fuck is wrong with you!" the host exclaims. 

More after the break

Tuesday, November 28, 2023

Vice Principals Episode 1.8: Danny McBride and Walton Goggins have dreams of glory

 Fans suggest that I try Vice Principals (2016-2018), Danny McBride's earlier series about two high school vice principals scheming to take down their principal so they can take her job and enjoy all that fame, power, and wealth. Really?  "Best show on television!" "Hilarious!" "McBride is a comedic genius!"

Other fans caution that it's homophobic, racist, and loaded-down with queerbaiting.  Before the kiss canonized Kelvin and Keefe in the penultimate episode of Season 3, the "they can't be gay!" crowd often used this in their arguments: "McBride queerbaited before, so that's what he's doing now." '

Uh-oh.  I'll watch an episode, just to track the queerbaiting.

One of my favorite aspects of Gemstones is the intricate plotting.  You have to pay attention to every detail, re-watch, do screen captures.   What book is Eli reading?  Does that rattlesnake sound signify that the character is secretly evil?  Hey, the BJ and Judy break-up is a precise parallel to the Kelvin-Keefe break-up.  That line in Episode 4 is repeated in Episode 6, but has a different structural significance.  I'm also interested in seeing if Vice Principals is similarly complex.

Anoother of my favorite aspects is its happy endings: every season finale wraps up all the plot threads (no cliffhangers).  Every relationship has reconciled, every broken heart has been mended, and the ghost of the kids' mother Aimee-Leigh looks down approvingly.  I wanted to see if Vice Principals has similar happy endings, so I watched the Season 1 finale.

Scene 1:
 Ganby (Danny McBride) and Lee (Walton Goggins) have lured Principal Brown into a night of drunken debauchery to discredit her.  They leave her passed out in the bathtub of a sleazy hotel, then gather all the incriminating evidence and burn it, marveling at how beautiful it is.

Scene 2: Ganby is giving his daughter a horse named Charlemagne to make up for the loss of her motorcycle, named Shadowfax. She is angry, and ignores him. 

Later he asks how she likes the horse.  She still prefers the motorcycle.  Besides, aren't horses expensive to keep up?  Ganby tells her that he'll be principal soon, so money is irrelevant.  Are principals really rich?  

Scene 3: In the school cafeteria, the guys criticize Principal Brown for eating too much. They have a highlight reel of the footage they shot, which will destroy her forever, but Ganby isn't excited: he can't even remember his line, "End of the line, Slut!"  He gazes at Amanda, the lady he was having an affair with, who is now ghosting him.

Scene 4: The guys lure Principal Brown in the woods by claiming that kids are sneaking out there to smoke marijuana.  She tries to explain her "gin-soaked evening," but it's all a  blur.  "I'm glad you were there to help me," she continues.  "I really appreciate it."  Uh-oh, they're having second thoughts. 

Ganby tries to say "End of the line, Slut," but can't.  Lee steps in: "We have this here video of you acting all crazy."  Not having sex with randos?  "Your career is over!  We won, bitch!"  

He brags about some of the other things they did to her, like burn down her house, causing her to attack, punching and kicking them.  If you've been waiting your whole life to see a middle-aged black lady and white man in a fist fight, your prayers have been answered.  I find it a bit uncomfortable due to the overlay of institutional racism and patriarchy.  She is a far superior fighter, if that helps.

Finally Lee blackmails her: step down as principal, or the video goes viral. Hey, isn't that a plot arc of the first season of Righteous Gemstones: give us a million dollars, or we'll post this video of your sex-and-drugs party?

Scene 5:  As a final act, Lee threw Principal Brown's shoe away, so she has to walk down the rocky trail half-barefoot.  She walks to her car in slow motion, gazes longingly at the school, and drives off. 

Cut to Ganby watching his daughter ride her horse.  Ray (Shea Whigham) drops by.  Wikipedia says that he is the husband of Ganby's ex, whom Ganby hates even though he is a nice guy.  So the daughter's stepfather? 

They are happy that the daughter is "doing what she loves again," "out of death's way."  Call back to an earlier crisis?  Ray complains that, as stepfather, he'll always be second in the daughter's heart. (Ok, ok, I looked up her name: Janelle.)  "I'm jealous.  Whatever I do, she'll always love you more."  They bond.

Scene 6: Ganby drives to the school, and sees that Principal Brown's car is not there.  He asks around: no one has seen her since yesterday.  Also, the Superintendent wants to set up a meeting with you.

Cut to the guys telling the faculty about her resignation: "We have no idea why.  The woman had many dark secrets.  It was probably substance abuse."  They keep stacking it up, don't they?

Edie Patterson (Judy on The Righteous Gemstones) makes a ruckus, yelling at Amanda, woman who ghosted Ganby, for talking. She plays a Spanish teacher with a crush on him, so that makes sense.  Ganby yells at her, too.

Scene 7:  Out in the hallway, Amanda wants to know why Ganby singled her out, when everyone was talking.  Because he hates you?  She explains that she was turned off by how he handled Bill Haydn, and he counters that they aren't meant to be together anyway, because he's moving up in the ranks, and she's stuck as a lowly English teacher.

Scene 8: Ganby and Lee outside the South Carolina Public Schools building, congratulating each other for fulfilling their dream of principal superstardom. They assure each other that, whoever is selected, they will still be buds. They shake hands.  No gay subtext here. but no queerbaiting, either.

Scene 9: The Superintendent wants to know how it is possible for two principals to leave in the same year.  Plus the missing textbooks.  So he wants them to serve as co-principals. 

Wait -- I thought Principal Brown was going to be there, getting an evil vengeance.  Or the Superintendent would blame the guys for everything that happened, and fire them.  They get what they want?  But they are awful people!

They leave in slow motion, hollering and hugging and kicking the air.  Still no gay subtext.

Scene 10: Ganby goes home to a surprise party thrown by the ex-wife, daughter, and Ray, who made him a hunting knife in the shop.  Chekhov's gun: somebody better use that knife in the next 10 minutes.

And, by the way, Ganby bought his daughter Janelle a new motorcycle.

Scene 11: Lee is home with his wife, waiting for the school website to be updated.  There it is, the co-principals!  He complains about the picture they used, but his wife tells him to "Be happy."  Still waiting for some comeuppance, McBride. But then again, on RG, Peter kidnaps Jesse, Judy, and Kelvin, plans to kill them, and then plans to blow up the church, and he gets forgiven and reconciled just because he sacrificed himself to save the family.

Lee wants to know where his mother-in-law is, so he can rub her face in his victory.  But she already knows: she went into her room to pout.

Scene 12: The co-principals raise the flag on their first day. Lee congratulates Ganby on being evil enough to get the job done, but Ganby counters that they both did evil shit.  But they don't have a change of heart: they walk in slow motion through the school, enjoying the adulation.  Did Lee just slap that boy on the butt?

In the cafeteria, the chef has prepared special pancakes for them. 

Ganby gets the courage to talk to the ghost girl Amanda. He apologizes for treating her like shit and spreading rumors. They reconcile and kiss.  Interesting: they discuss their relationship in work terms. Kelvin and Keefe do that all the time.

Emergency!  Ganby is called to the parking lot: both their cars are on fire!  Then they explode! Former Principal Brown walks up in a scary mask and shoots him twice.  He lies on the pavement, dying.  The end.

Beefcake: None.  Not even on the internet.  I had to dig to find Shea Whigham and Ryan Boz (who appears in only two episodes).

Homophobia/Queerbaiting:  I didn't see any.  No gay subtexts at all.

Intricate plotting: Not at all. Very straightforward. Set-ups that go nowhere. The lost shoe should have played a role in the resolution. That knife should have been used to stab Ganby.

All plot threads resolved: no, cliffhanger.

Happy ending:  Two reconciliations, I think, but definitely not a happy ending, with the main character dying. 

My Grade: I don't know what those fans were talking about.  No homophobia, no queerbaiting, but no genius, either.  A sophomore effort at best. C+

"Vacation": Skyler Gisondo as the victim in a cringy homophobic scene, with adult penises to make up for subjecting you to it


I didn't see the original National Lampoon's Vacation (1983), due to the vocal homophobia of star Chevy Chase.   I'm definitely not going to watch the sequel, Vacation (2015), in which  Rusty, the kid in the original (Ed Helms), tries to take his family on the same woebegotten journey.  Richard Roeper called it "a vile, odious disaster populated with unlikable, dopey characters bumbling through mean-spirited set pieces that rely heavily on slapstick fight scenes, scatological sight gags and serial vomiting."  Plus the plot synopsis looks horribly heterosexist, with eldest son James (Skyler Gisondo) in search of the Girl of His Dreams.  But I am going to check for beefcake, and then review a horribly homophobic scene that I found by accident on youtube

James shows his chest (top photo). Stone Crandall (Chris Hemsworth), married to Rusty's sister, walks around in his underwear, displaying a bulge.  Plus he "accidentally" displays his penis in a vacation photo.

On to the cringy homophobic scene: 

 The family is staying at a sleazy motel.  James plays his guitar at the sleazy hot tub.  A girl drops by to flirt with him.  

Medina: I have a penis.

James (shocked, transphobic): What?  Um...

Medina: It's written  on your guitar.  

He explains that his brother wrote it there as a prank, and goes on to make his move, Just then, Dad shows up (but Medina thinks that it's just a random perv)

Dad/Perv: I'm just a stranger passing through town, but I couldn't help noticing how incredibly handsome this young man is. You got a girlfriend?  Or boyfriend, heterosexist idiot  -- but then, Dad probably knows that his son is straight.

James: (Painfully embarrassed.) No.

: No girlfriend?  Cute boy like that, somebody's gonna snatch you up.

Medina (to James): Do you want me to call the cops?  

James: No.  Dad/Perv hasn't done anything illegal yet.  But...why doesn't James tell the girl that it's his Dad, being embarrassing?

Dad/Perv: And he plays guitar. Dream boy!  Make a muscle!

Skyler: I'd rather not.

Dad/Perv: Take your shirt off, make a muscle.  Don't be shy -- show us what we're working with.  

As Dad/Perv approaches the hot tub, Medina asks James if he'll be ok, and scrams.  

Dad: Dang it!

James: Dad, why would you do that?

Dad: I saw you talking to her, and figured you could use a wing man. Oy!

In most U.S. states, it is a crime to propose sexual activity to someone under the age of consent or expose them to erotic material.  Commenting on their erotic desirability is technically legal, unless you are their parent, teacher, or in a position of authority.  Skyler Gisondo here is 18 or 19, but his character is 14.  Dad is pushing the boundaries of legality, and has gone far beyond what is appropriate. 

Left: 17-year old bodybuilder. Attractive, but not hot until next year.
This exchange keys into the myth that gay men are all hanging around schoolyards, trying to pick up teenagers (ephebophilia)  -- or 12 year olds (pedophilia)  

Another review says: "All homophobic, xenophobic, scatological grossout, with some rape and pedophilia “jokes” for flavor."  You mean it gets worse?

Grown-up penises after the break:

Sunday, November 26, 2023

Was Joe MacMillan in "Halt and Catch Fire" gay, bi, or straight? Fans couldn't agree, even after the Episode 1.3 kiss

The title Halt and Catch Fire is misleading, evoking the gruesome deaths of soldiers in battle.but the series (2014-2017)  is not about war, and no actually catches fire. It's about software development in the 1980s, with Joe MacMillan (Lee Pace) trying to develop a new "personal computer." 

The episode synopses on wikipedia are so loaded with jargon that no one but an IT professional could possibly figure out what's going on.  Except when the plot veers away from coding problems to Joe's love life.  

Through nearly three seasons of The Righteous Gemstones, fans argued vociferously over whether Kelvin is gay or straight.  When he kissed his boyfriend Keefe in Episode 3.8, speculation ended.  A few holdouts didn't want to believe that he was gay, so they proposed some wild alternatives.  Maybe Kelvin is actually a transgender woman, or straight but kissing Keefe to mess with the family.   When Joe kisses a guy (Travis Smith) in Halt and Catch Fire Episode 1.3, paradoxically, speculation begins.

"WTF was that scene about?  Is Joe gay?" 
"He's not feminine, so he can't be gay."  
"Maybe he's bi?" 
"No, he's straight, but seducing  Travis to get something he wants."
"This is the 1980s! There weren't any gay people back then!"  

In Episode 1.7, Joe's ex-boyfriend  Simon (D.B. Woodside) shows up, hoping to rekindle the romance and threatening his relationship with his girlfriend Cameron. 

The two specify that they are ex-boyfriends, so Joe must be bisexual, right?  The safe sort of bisexual man who had one same-sex relationship in the distant past and spends the rest of the series pursuing the Woman of His Dreams. 

But the long-gone bisexual romance did not codify Joe as bi, at least not for many fans, who continued to assert that he must be straight. 

Gemstone connection
(other than the kiss):  One of Gavin Munn's first tv appearances was in Halt and Catch Fire Episode 3.8 (2016). He played one of a trio of Halloween trick-or-treaters: a Hobo, a Witch, and Alf (from 1980s tv)

Nude Lee after the break

"Double Vision": Based on the Foreigner song, with nude pics of Gideon and Keefe

Gideon has had a crush on Keefe for two years.  During the Kelvin/Keefe breakup, he sees his chance to move out of the friend zone. He hopes.

Feelin' down and dirty

Feelin kinda mean

I've been from one to the other extreme

Fill my eyes with that double vision.

No disguise for that double vision.

When  it gets through to me, it's always new to me

My double vision gets the best of me

Today I had a good time,
But I ain't got time to wait
I want to stick around till I can't see straight

More after the break

Saturday, November 25, 2023

Bloomington's Adult Bookstore

Bloomington, Indiana, fall 1982

I "figured it out" during my senior year in high school, but my real "coming out" was at the beginning of my first year in grad school at Indiana University.

As an undergraduate at Augustana College, I had worked hard, very hard, to find gay people, and I found a few -- my ex boyfriend Fred; an Episcopal priest in Des Moines; Prfessor Burton, who held handcuff parties for campus hunks.  You had to go through word of mouth, through a friend of a friend of a friend.

Now I was at a vast university with 40,000 students, and as far as I could tell from conversations and signals and interests, every single one of them was heterosexual.

My friends, classmates, and coworkers all, without exception, maintained the "what girl do you like?" whine of my childhood.  I had to leave Playboy magazines in my room, and think of logical reasons why I didn't have a girl on my arm every second.

My classes were as empty of gay references as they had been at Augustana.  Every writer who had ever lived was heterosexual.  Every poem ever written was written from man to women.  The Eternal Feminine infused all our lives.

And, as far as I knew, this was the way life was everywhere and for everyone.  A vast emptiness, hiding, pretending, unyielding silence.

That Saturday night I had been watching Silver Spoons and Mama's Family in the 13th floor tv lounge of Eigenmann Hall.  At 9:00, my roommate Jon said "Let's go to the grad student mixer.  I'm hot to get laid tonight."

I had no interest in getting laid.  At least, not as Jon understood it.  But I walked with him across the vast, silent campus, past empty buildings, past towers of Indiana limestone erected by heterosexuals long ago, to the Memorial Union, where a party for heterosexual grad students was in session.

Then I said goodbye and went to the campus library.  There were uncountable millions of books in the vast stacks, rooms as long as a football field, but only two listed under "homosexuality" in the card catalog: the memoirs of Tennessee Williams, and Nothing Like the Sun, by Anthony Burgess, about Shakespeare's romance with the Dark Lady of the sonnets.

I walked alone down Kirkwood Avenue, past student bars and little Asian restaurants and hamburger stands.  Just before the Baskin Robbins closed at 10:00, I stopped in and bought an ice cream cone.  Two scoops, strawberry on the bottom and Rocky Road on the top.  30 years later, I still remember that ice cream cone.

There was a gay bar in Rock Island, a dark closet bar with a nondescript name and no windows, where you entered through the back so no one could see you.  But surely Bloomington was too small for such a place.

 I stopped into a weird eclectic bookstore called the White Rabbit. No gay books -- it was illegal to display them openly, as Fred told me when I found his secret bookshelf two years ago.  So I bought a novelization of the 1980 Popeye musical starring Robin Williams, set in the port town of Sweethaven:

Sweet Sweethaven!  God must love us.
Why else would He have stranded us here?

A church tower had a cross that lit up white at night, and I looked up it and prayed "Why did you strand me here?"

I wandered for a long time through quiet residential streets, houses where heterosexual husbands and wives were asleep, their children in the next room surrounded by "what girl do you like?" brainwashing toys and games.  I walked past a public park, but was afraid to go in.  After dark, monsters roamed through the dark swaying trees.

It occurred to me that I was one of the monsters.  After all, being gay was illegal in the United States.  I was a criminal.  (Actually, Indiana's sodomy law was repealed in 1976.)

Somehow I found myself at a small, nondescript building on College Avenue.  The sign on the marquee advertised "Adult Books."

They probably wouldn't stock any gay porn.  But it wouldn't hurt to check.  The most they could do is call me a "fag."

More after the break

Kyle Hawk,: gay or gay-ally wrestler and Las Vegas resident, with a nude Native American bonus

Kyle Hawk grew up in Carlsbad, New Mexico and studied at the Southwest Indian Polytechnic Institute, near Albuquerque.  After the army, he worked as a fitness instructor and freelance wrestler.  He  has appeared in wrestling movies, the Impact Xplosion wrestling tv series on Netflix, and The Righteous Gemstones:  In the opening sequence of Episode 2.1, a flashback to 1968 Memphis, John Big Cloud (Kyle Hawk) is wrestling the young Eli Gemstone (Jake Kelley). 

After winning the match, Eli hugs John, then throws him out of the ring, illustrating his persona as "The Maniac Kid." His Facebook page also mentions Barracuda: The Movie: "A Marine and a tech mogul embark on an road trip across legendary Route 66." Sounds like there are some gay subtexts.

Kyle's wrestling persona keys into Native American culture and stereotypes.  His entry on his merch page reads: 

 Representing the reservation, The Savage is amongst the few indigenous wrestlers. He’s on a warpath of destruction using his tomahawk chops, Scalper, and Dreamcatcher to punish anyone who stands in his way.

Kyle regularly tags himself at drag brunches, underwear parties, and other  events at the Phoenix, "the best gay bar in Las Vegas."  So I'm concluding gay or at least gay-allied. 

I couldn't find any nude photos of Kyle, so there are some random nude Native American photos after the break

Euphoria Episode 2.3: Two high school boys in love in the 1990s, followed by gay/bi affairs. penises, and Brock O'Hurn


I went in Euphoria Episode 2.3 cold, with no prior research.  All I knew was that Brock O'Hurn had a nude frontal (fully aroused, not a prosthetic).  And I had a vague impression that the show was about paranormal events in a quirky small town. 

Scene 1: A woman named Rue narrates.  "When Cal was a senior in high school...."  Holy cow, the screen fills with his butt as he puts on his underwear!   

Cal (Elias Kacavas) calls his friend Derek (Henry Eikenberry), insults him by implying that he's a woman ("put your bra and panties on"), and then drives over to pick him up.

Scene 2: 
Cut to wrestlng practice.  The coach insults them with a homophobic slur. They go into paroxyms of ecstasy over a hot girl in the bleachers, then hit the shower...holy cow, cock shots of both of them,then a close-up of Derek's butt and cock in the locker room!

Scene 3:
They get a milkshake while Rue the Narrator explains how close they are.  While they are driving, Derek starts to masturbate through his jeans. Cal watches. 

Scene 4
: Cal starts dating Marsha, who gives him a hand job with her foot, then a blow job.  He tells Derek, who congratulates him profusely, then gets a girl of his own.  They have a make-out and skinny-dipping party.  Holy cow -- more cock!

After graduation, they're going to separate colleges, so they have to part.  On their last night together, they go to a redneck honky-tonk gay bar, where they slow-dance and kiss a lot.  Then next morning, Cal gets a call from his girlfriend: she's pregnant! So the preacher in my old church was right: homa-sekshuls cause teen pregnancy.

Darn, yet another plotline about gayness as something for adolescents, to be abandoned for heterosexual destiny!  Well, at least we saw a lot of cocks, and Brock O'Hurn's aroused frontal is coming up.

More after the break

Friday, November 24, 2023

"The Eyes of Tammy Faye": A gay-positive light in the homophobic 1980s


The Eyes of Tammy Faye
(2021) takes us back to the golden age of televangelism, when the big names were world-famous celebrities with huge political and social influence.  They had dinner at the White House.  They were parodied on Saturday Night Live.  

1. Jerry Falwell (Vincent D'Onofrio) turned his Moral Majority into a seething- ground for anti-gay hatred.  He blamed them for everything.  An airplane crash in Peru -- must have been some gays on board.  Rise in teen pregnancy -- gay rights make our kids think they can do anything they want.  Your basement is flooded -- God is punishing you for not hating gays enough.  "A homosexual will kill you as soon as look at you."

2. Pat Robertson (Gabriel Olds) proclaimed that God was punishing all of the gays by giving them AIDS, but they wanted to infect as many straight people as possible, with the goal of destroying society before becoming extinct.   They had special rings that, when you shook their hand, would prick you with a little of their blood, so you would catch AIDS and die.  They would spit on your food or cough on you on purpose

3. Jimmy Swaggart (Jay Huguley) said that he would kill any gay man who looked at him romantically.  He saw his huge tv ministry decimated after two prostitution scandals, in spite of his famous "I have sinned" speech. 

4. Oral Roberts managed to build a whole homophobic university with sleazy fundraising techniques, like claiming that if viewers didn't send in $8,000,000, God would kill him.

5. Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker (Andrew Garfield,top photo and left, Jessica Chastain) ran the PTL (Praise the Lord) Club, the most direct influence of Eli and Aimee-Leigh's Praise Be to He hour.  

Jim always promoted homophobia and denied allegations of "homosexual activity," even after he was convicted of defrauding his viewers out of $150 million and sentenced to prison.  

Tammy Faye, however, believed in compassion.  In 1987, she interviewed Steve Pieters, a gay minister (who had AIDS), without ever saying "God's punishment." She asked stupid-sounding questions like "If you've never been with a woman, how do you know you don't like it?". but later explained that those were the questions her viewers had.  

She regularly attended pride events and was interviewed in gay magazines through her post-PTL years.  Her heavy make-up made her look like a drag queen, and she went with it, attending -- and judging "Tammy Faye Drag" contests.

Tammy Faye was not entirely gay-positive: she didn't support same-sex marriage, and continued to believe that same-sex acts were sinful.  But so was premarital and extramarital sex between straight people; why should gay people be subjected to discrimination and prejudice?  

Many evangelicals today still hate LGBT persons, but imagine what it was like in the 1980s and 1990s, when almost all of them did!  My sister didn't speak to me for five years after I came out (my brother was always fine with it).  In that morass of homophobia, Tammy Faye was a beacon of hope.  

Bonus: Louis Cacelmi as Richard Fletcher, who furnished prostitutes for Jim Bakker and claimed to have had sex with him.