Billy Howle: A serious actor, crazy cute, with frequent nude scenes. Do you need anything else? With bonus Tommy Knight d*ck


I've reviewed two tv series starring British actor Billy Howle (not Howlie), and two things about him stand out:

1. He is crazy cute.  What we used to call dreamy, the sort of guy who elicits fantasies of holding hands in the moonlight rather than going downtown.
 







2. Speaking of going downtown, he is not shy about displaying his rather impressive penis on screen.

I always ask two questions in these profiles.

1. Is he gay in real life?

Billy has no social media presence, but various interviews note that he is in a long-term relationship with a lady.  He could be bisexual or gay-and-closeted, but for now we'll call him straight. 

2. Has he played any gay characters?

This one will take some research.  We'll start with his bio.  

Billy was born in Stoke-on-Trent in the Midlands, about an hour from Birmingham, son of a college professor and a "schoolteacher."  He graduated from the Bristol Old Vic Theater School in 2013.  His theatrical credits include:


The Ibsen play Ghosts (2015), which is about religion, free love, and incest, not about ghosts.  We had to read Ibsen in college.  Ugh.

Eugene O'Neill's A Long Day's Journey into Night (2016).  We had to read O'Neill, too.  Double ugh.

Hamlet (2022).  Maybe a gay subtext between the Prince and Mercutio.

Dear Octopus (2024), which is about a large, suffocating family, not an octopus.  At least it's not Ionesco.

John Osborne's Look Back in Anger (2024) about marital problems.

No significant gay content, I'm afraid, and pretentiousness as the summum bonum.  

Next, Billy's on-screen roles.  He has 21 acting credits on the IMDB.  A  mostly pretentious lot, with only one science fiction movie and not a whiff of comedy.  I'll check the projects that I've reviewed already, those listed as "known for," and those with nudity.



Already Reviewed:

The Perfect Couple (2024).  When the Maid of Honor is murdered on the night before the wedding, everyone is a suspect, including the Bride and Groom.  Billy plays the Groom's brother, who has a girlfriend. 

Under the Banner of Heaven (2022). Lapsed Mormon Allen (Billy) is accused of murdering his wife and baby, but he says that his fundamentalist family did it to punish her for wanting a career and being uppity. 

More after the break




Known for:

A Many-Splendoured Thing (2018): A podcast adapting the 1955 movie, about a British war correspondent (Billy) and a widowed Eurasian doctor in love after World War II.  It's a lady doctor.  The theme song, a paeon to heterosexual romance, topped the U.S. charts in 1955, and has been recorded many times since:

Once on a high and windy hill
In the morning mist, two lovers kissed
And the world stood still.


Outlaw King (2018).  In Medieval Britain, Scottish Earl Robert the Bruce (Chris Pine) is best buds with Edward, Prince of Wales (Billy).  But Bruce goes on to be crowned King of Scotland, rebelling against Edward's Dad, and then Edward II himself.  

Most (non-homophobic) historians argue that Edward II was gay, or maybe bisexual, and in a relationship with Piers Galveston (in Braveheart, a swishy queen who gets thrown out a window, to the cheers of the homophobes in the audience).  But according to the History vs. Hollywood website, this movie de-gays both Edward and Galveston


Dunkirk
 (2017). About the evacuation of British and American soldiers from the French port in May-June 1940, as France fell to the Nazis.  You can visit a museum and memorial at Dunkirk today. Tommy and Alex (Fionn Whitehead, Harry Styles) walk off into the sunset together, so they may be a gay-subtext couple.  Fionn Whitehead, left, is gay in real life.  Billy Howle's Petty Officer doesn't appear in the plot synopsis.


On Chesil Beach (2017).  In a seaside hotel in 1962, newlyweds Edward and Florence try unsuccessfully to consummate (er..maybe if you take your clothes all the way off?).  An interview with "out gay director" Dominic Cook -- in the Philadelphia Gay News  -- goes into detail about Edward being true to himself and trapped by the social conventions of the era, really pushing the idea that he is gay.  

Nope -- Dominic was teasing big time, with a few outright lies.  Edward is straight.  Florence doesn't want to consummate becaus it triggers abuse from her father, so could they have a platonic relationship?  Edward rejects the idea, and angrily breaks up with her.  


Billy's work with nude scenes:

Kid Snow (2024).  Tent boxing in the Australian Outback.  Can't get much more macho than that! The Kid (Billy) gets a girlfriend, who convinces him to abandon his violent past for domestic bliss, the Eternal Feminine as salvation, yada yada yada.   

MotherFatherSon (2019).  Sounds like this stv show will feature incest, but it's just a regular soap opera with a pretentious title.  Father (Richard Gere) is "at the heart of British politics and power," Mother is an aristocrat who's been "frozen out of the family." Son (Billy) is "fighting for his life in the hospital." And that's just the first episode. 

A Reddit post notes that a gay character appears in Episode 8, but it's not the girlfriend-heavy and frequently-naked Son. 


The Seagull (2018), an adaption of the Chekhov play about an elderly woman who visits her brother's estate with her son (Billy) and boyfriend (Corey Stoll). The son's girlfriend falls in love with the mother's boyfriend. Plus there are some other love triangles. Drama!  It's heterosexuals and Billy's butt all the way down.

 




Glue (2014).  Five teens investigate the murder of their friend Cal (Tommy Knight, left) and uncover "dark secrets."  One of the secrets is revealed in Episode 5: Cal was gay, and dating James (Billy), who is arrested for his murder.  He's innocent, but the real murderer kidnaps, beats up, and almost kills him.  So we have one "Bury Your Gays" and one "Punish Your Gays." 

Turns out that Billy's only gay role to date was very early in his career.  It's almost as if he thinks of gay love as happening early in life, before you move on to the hard work of fulfilling your heterosexual destiny.

Love is a many-splendoured thing.
It's an April rose that only grows in the early spring.

But he still shows his dick a lot, and he's still ungodly cute. 

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