I saw This is the End (2013) when it first appeared, and didn't really like it because (spoiler alert) it's about the Rapture. When I was a kid, I was terrified of the Evangelical end-of-the-world event (not actually mentioned in the Bible) when everyone who is saved gets zapped up to heaven, and the unsaved are stuck on Earth. The preacher told horrifying stories of unsaved men waking up in the middle of the night to find their family gone, and gradually realizing that they are lost -- their sins can no longer be forgiven, so no matter how much they beg and cry, it's the Lake of Fire for all eternity.
But it stars some of my favorite actors, including two that I have a crush on, David Krumholtz (left) and Jay Baruchel (below), so I'll give it another shot.
Scene 1: LAX. Seth Rogan picks up his buddy Jay Baruchel (bare butt, below), for the "best weekend ever" at his place, with his favorite things: Starburst, marijuana, and airheads. "I know you don't like LA, so I thought I'd lube it up a bit to ease the transition." "Much needed foreplay."
Discussing non-sexual things in sexual terms, har har. Then: "I'm a well-known homosexual advocate."
I don't know what he means. Seth wants to go to James Franco's housewarming party, but Jay wants it to be just the two of them all weekend. Awww... But they go.
Scene 2: At the house, Seth points out that Channing Tatum lives nearby: "This is the sexiest street in America." Jay chastises him for talking about Channing Tatum too much, but he counters: "I think he's attractive." Ok, these guys are pretend-gay.
Franco: "This house is like a piece of me. You two stepped inside me." Seth: "You let us come inside you." I'd better stop writing down all the gay-sex jokes, or I'll run out of space by Scene 3.
We meet various celebrities from the same general crew, having boring conversations. Jonah Hill appears to have an unrequited crush on Jay. Michael Cera (left) tries to kiss a guy. Later, Jay stumbles on him in the bathroom, getting blown and rimmed at the same time (by ladies). Craig sings for "all the ladies" to "take your panties off."
Scene 3: Jay and Seth head to a convenience store for cigarettes. Seth: "Is Michael Cera's butthole as cute as I pictured it?" He's into guys' butts, har har. Suddenly there's an explosion, and some of the customers rise through the ceiling in shafts of blue light!
Outside, people are rising in shafts of blue light everywhere, driver-less cars are crashing, power lines are down...and back at Franco's house, everything is normal (only the good people went to heaven, so no celebrities, of course). No one believes them.
Jonah says that Jay is "a sweetheart," implying that he's attracted to him, and everyone looks at him in disgust. Wait -- you were all expressing homoerotic interest just a few seconds ago.
Scene 4: There's an earthquake, so everyone rushes outside -- and the whole city is in flames! Then a giant sinkhole open, and almost everyone falls in. Only Jay and Craig try to save their friends. They survive, along with Franco, Jonah, and Seth. Before the tv dies, they get a few news reports -- martial law declared, Air Force One is down (
The preacher told us that there had to be an unsaved pilot on every flight, in case of Rapture).They start boarding up the house, inventorying supplies, and ineptly repairing the damage. Gay joke: Craig tries to move a giant ceramic dick: "That dick's coming now. I got that big dick."
More after the break
