"TIme Cut": Girl travels into the past to stop a murder, with Griffin Gluck's boyfriend and Zane Phillips' dick


Netflix recommended Time Cut, 2024.  I'm a sucker for time travel/time paradox science fiction stories, so why not a movie?

Scene 1: 2003. Sweetly, Minnesota, har har.  Summer Fling -- her real name, har har!  -- goes to a barn dance-themed party.  Quinn (Griffin Gluck), the nerd with the unrequited crush on her, didn't think she would come, due to the serial killer targeting teens in the area.  He tries to give her a card confessing his love, but before he has a chance, Ethan (Samuel Braun, below), the obnoxious jock whom she is dating,  drags her off.



Cut to the dance.  Jock Ethan suggests that they raise their cups in memorial to the three dead teens, while a Michael Myers-masked killer stalks outside, and a police car zooms over the bridge. 

Uh-oh, Summer fling spills something, and goes to the empy bathroom to clean up.  The state police arrive to break up the party, but Summer doesn't hear them.  The killer arrives, chases her around, and finally grim-reaps her to death. So he was going to wait until the party emptied out except for one person?

Scene 2: April 18, 2024. Lucy awakens in her bed, goes out to a porch swing to mourn her dead sister, who she couldn't possibly have known -- and checks on the status of her application to a 3-month internship with NASA -- she got in!  

She scooters through town , which is in decay -- graffiti everywhere, town clock smashed, stores closed.   20 years ago the Slasher killed four teens, and the town went into its downward spiral.  Turn the slasher barn into a tourist attraction, like Lizzie Borden's house.

In school, she tells her science teacher that she got in.  He's ecstatic.  But she can't tell her parents because this is the anniversary of their daughter's murder.

Out in the hallway, the students are all talking about the murders -- the biggest event in the town's history. Two were killed in the mall.  "What the heck is a mall?", someone asks. Another at the Marine Museum, and the fourth at the big dance.

Scene 4: At home, Lucy visits her sister's old room, kept up as a shrine.  Overwhelmingly pink, a Buffy the Vampire Slayer poster, a landline phone, a creaking floorboard...wait, there's something under there -- notes. "Summer, now I'll be free, but you'll never be.  You'll regret this."  Girlfriend had lots of secrets.


Scene 5: 
Dinner at the Olive Garden  The server brings the "Field Family Special," and announces "You look so much like her." Come on, it's been 20 years.  How does a casual acquaintance even remember?

Mom and Dad (Michael Shanks, left) are walking shells, immersed in their grief like Miss Haversham moaning over that 30-year old wedding cake in Great Expectations.  They had Lucy as a substitute, but they ignore her individuality and accomplishments and just treat her as a  reminder of her dead sister.

Lucy comes clean about her internship offer.  "WHAT?  Go to DC for 3 months?  It's full of serial killers!   You can get a job at the tech company like me."  My Dad assumed that I would be going to work in the factory.  He only agreed to college when I got a full scholarship -- he figured I would go to work in the factory afterwards.


Next stop: The abandoned barn where Summer was murdered.  They've built a shrine full of photos, ceramic horses, Barbie dolls, and teddy bears.  Way more than 20.  They must come here every week

This week's offering: a pair of flip-flops that Mom carefully engraved.  Your living daughter is standing right there, idjit..

Uh-oh, Lucy forgot the offering she was going to leave.  As she fetches it, she hears a machine beeping and thrumming from inside the barn!   It's a weird techno-thing with a "start" button.  Do not push "start" on a strange machine girl!  She pushes it. Two lasers pop out and start thrumming, and zap!  Her parents aren't around, and the barn is brand new.  No bars on her cell phone -- no network!  It's 2003!

Who put a time machine in the barn?  This makes no sense.

More after the break. Caution: Explicit.

Gemstones Episode 1.2, Continued: Eli catches a snake, Christian poses nude, and Kelvin sees the Devil's Testicle



Previous:
  Episode 1.2: Thai ladyboys, Italian shoes, Palestinian dicks, and the devil's kiss.

Although this episode was mostly about establishing the toxic Scotty-Gideon relationship, we saw Kelvin recoiling from a butt-slap from Matthew, then touching Keefe's arm with a look of passion that's impossible to mistake.  In the last scenes, we find out more about the nature of his desire. 

Confronting the Blackmailers: The siblings go to the hotel where the blackmailers are staying.  When they pass a breastfeeding mother, Judy gazes hungrily at the baby, a maternal desire that is not referenced again.  The desk clerk tells them that the blackmailers checked out today.  Dead end. 

The desk clerk asks if "the little boy" is Jesse and Judy's son.  Kelvin counters that he's "fully grown..an adult man."  His belief that everyone treats him like a kid will be central in Season 2.


The Testicle: Jesse, in Gideon's room, fidgets with his wedding ring, suggesting that he is worried about his marital problems.  Compare Kelvin's fidgeting with his wedding ring during his breakup with Keefe in Season 3.

He begins to pray, interspliced with shots of Amber playing the piano and Keefe spotting Kelvin on the bench press.  Suddenly Keefe's testicle pops out of his gym shorts! 

Kelvin finishes a rep, his eyes closed from the exertion, then looks up and notices.  Keefe moves away.


Kelvin sits up, breathing heavily. The camera moves in for a close-up of his face. He is shocked and confused.  

This is not the expression of someone embarrassed from seeing his buddy's testicle. He is terrified.  Something is stirring that he doesn't understand, or maybe he understands but doesn't want to. He is experiencing homoerotic desire.  He got harder?  He can no longer interpret his feelings for Keefe as mere buddy-bonding.



Harder: 
Notice the motto on the wall: "Harder..better... faster. .stronger...saved."  This may be a reflection of the song "Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger," although I wonder how Kelvin is familiar with an album by the Australian electro band Daft Punk, released in 2001, when he was 11 or 12 years old.   

Other suggestions: The Olympic motto, "Faster, Higher, Stronger," and Bigger, Stronger, Faster, a 2008 documentary about steroid abuse among bodybuilders. It included interviews with practically every pro bodybuillder of the present and past, from Arnold Schwarzenegger, top photo, to Mike Bell. 

More nude bodybuilders after the break

John Cena: Wrestler, bodybuilder, superhero, Fred's Dad

 



Like many muscular guys, the wrestler-turned-actor John Cena seems to prefer comedy. But that doesn't keep him from displaying his physique.  He appears naked except for a cloth over his dick while sexing the protagonist in Trainwreck (2015).







Frontal and rear











Beating up Chris Romano in Tour de Pharmacy (2017). Ok, that's another guy's dick, but still, it's a few inches from his face.  That's a good thing, right?



More Cena after the break

David Henrie: The Wizard of Waverly Place re-wizards, but is he as gay-friendly and naked as his costars?


I thought lightning might strike twice, or rather five times. The Wizards of Waverly Place, which ran on the Disney Channel from 2007 to 2012, featured countless gay subtexts and about a dozen beefcake hunks who have gone on to a gay-positive adulthood.

Gregg Sulkin, left, displays his biceps and bulge in gay magazines.

Jake T. Austin starred in the gay-friendly The Fosters.





Dan Benson runs a gay-friendly OnlyFans page, where he reviews adult products and shows his dick.

Selena Gomez is "mostly straight," and reveals that her character, Alex Russo, was bisexual, but the Disney censors wouldn't let them say so.

David DeLuise is a gay ally who has a j/o video online -- after the break.






So what about David Henrie, who played eldest wizard in the family, Justin Russo?

Since Wizards, he has done a lot of voice work, and had minor roles in movies: 

Lane in Paul Blart, Mall Cop

Rudy Isling -- Walt Disney's competitor -- in Walt Before Mickey.

Clean Cut Man in Cardboard Boxer, about a homeless man who is forced into cage matches.

Sebastian in This is the Year, about a teen road trip.  David also directed, and his brother Lorenzo Henrie starred.  



The Young Ronald Reagan in a 2024 biopic.  Ugh.

Six episodes of Underdeveloped, a mockumentary about inept producers.

No gay content here.


 





David is now starring in Wizards Beyond Waverly Place:  Justin Russo gave up his wizard powers so he could marry a mortal woman.  Wait -- weren't his parents a mortal and a wizard?    Now he's a middle school vice principal with a wife and two sons, wearing an annoyingly overstated wedding ring that he flaunts around like a newly-engaged schoolgirl.

Trouble begins when he and his wife must become the foster parents to a girl who was raised in the wizard world.  And by the way, the fate of the universe is in her hands.

I watched two episodes -- awful.  No beefcake, no gay subtexts, except that Justin's son, played by Alkaio Thiele, doesn't mention an interest in girls.  A Redditer thinks that he will come out as gay eventually, but he'll have to get past his Dad first.

Is David at least gay-friendly in real life?  

Answer after the break. Caution: explicit.

"The Seminarian": Gay evangelical with an enormous penis looks for love, annoys his friends and the viewer. No, it's not Kelvin Gemstone

 


The Seminarian 2011: "A seminarian saves a lady's life. They fall in love."  And "A closeted gay seminarian struggles..."  Well, which is it?  It can't be both




.  The only way to find out is to watch on Roku (or to look very closely at the DVD cover).

Scene 1: Whoa, the first scene shows a very well hung naked guy changing clothes in his kitchen!  Now we know the audience they're going after.  

He's Ryan Goodman (Goodman, har har) (Mark Cirillo), who lives in an incredible decadent-red apartment with his "when will you find a girl and get married" mother.  He is about to graduate from a conservative evangelical seminary, but he doesn't want to become a preacher: he's applying to a Ph.D. program at Yale.   


Scene 2:
Meeting with his thesis advisor. Ryan is writing on how "love and desire" encourage procreation, protection, and socialization, "which enable us to survive and persist as a species."  The point of life is reproduction?  That's the house, job, wife, kids trajectory that my parents were always pushing on me.  I thought a gay guy would come up with something less oppressive.  Besides, he forgot the theology. "Oh, right...um...when we love each other, we reflect God's love." .

Scene 3: A restroom hookup leads to a heart-to-heart.  The guy had a bad breakup six years ago, and hasn't dated anyone since.  "So you're content without love?" Mark asks, horrified.  Some people are aromantic, and some are asexual.

Scene 4: Mark has only one gay friend on campus, Gerald (Matthew Hanon), who has just been dumped by his boyfriend, and doesn't have the energy to listen to his "love is bollocks" moaning.  Also a sraight friend, Eugene, who plasters the campus with "Protect Traditional Marriage" fliers. 

Although he has a girlfriend, Straight Eugene argues that you don't need to be in a relationship -- God's love is enough.  If you disagree, you don't understand God, and what are you doing in seminary?  Judgmental, aren't you?  Oh, right, you're training to become a preacher, and hate gays for a living.


Scene 5: 
 Mark working on his thesis: "When you love another human being, you love God."  He pauses for cybersex with Bradley, his online boyfriend, who lives too far away to meet. 

Scene 6: Mark decides to busybody into his gay friend Gerald's relationship, but  they have reconciled and don't want him nosing around.

Cut to the gym, where Mark is talking to his other gay friend about the Online Boyfriend. "So he lives far away.  You have to go see him, or you will never find love."  Dude, you live in Los Angeles.  Just walk into any bar and say "I have 8 inches.  Who wants to buy me dinner?"

Cut to Mark sitting on a bench, looking morose while Straight Eugene flirts with his girlfriend.

More Mark after the break

Gemstones Episode 1.2: Thai ladyboys, Italian shoes, Palestinian dicks, and the Devil's kiss.



Episode 1.2 continues the plot arc of Jesse confronting the blackmailers who have a video of his sex-and-drugs party. 
 
Title: "Is this the man who made the Earth tremble?" From Isaiah 14.15: Everyone is amazed at the fall of the King of Babylon. Here we're looking at the fall of Eli Gemstone.

The Ladyboys of Thailand:  The red van in the deserted parking lot.  The head blackmailer, Scotty, wearing a scary devil mask, is talking with his companions, a woman named Lucy and an unidentified man.  He dismisses the  misconception that Thailand is all about ladyboys "hanging out of windows with their cocks in their panties." But: Thailand also has great food, great beaches, "and we're going to be taller than everyone else." 


The ladyboys or kathoey of Thailand have male-coded sexual characteristics but present as feminine.  They were traditionally called a third gender, but with the globalization of Western LGBT identities, they are more likely today to identify as femme gay men or trans women.  Scotty's statement suggests that he is into ladyboys, but his companions are not, so he is trying to convince them that Thailand has other attractions, too.

The siblings arrive and drop the bags of money in front of the van.  Scotty gets out to pick it up and -- Jesse attacks!  Lucy, wearing a scary baby mask, shoots at them.  They jump back into their car and run over Scotty, and then Lucy, when she rushes to his aid. The third blackmailer takes off his mask: it's a young man played by Skyler Gisondo.  


The Young Man yells "Scotty!" and runs up and cuddles him like a lover!  They are obviously boyfriends.He helps Scotty up, and they carry Lucy to the van and drive away. 

Scotty thinks that Lucy is dead, so they try to throw the corpse down a hill.  But she's alive!

Did it really happen?:  The next day, the siblings return to the parking lot.  There is no evidence of the blackmailers.  Jesse suggests that it was never real to begin with, and Judy, "a spiritual test that we had to overcome."  Kelvin thinks it was real, but the others criticize him for "projecting negativity."  

The next order of business: how should they divvy up the money Judy stole from the church: give it all back (Kelvin) or give half back and split the rest (Jesse). Why do these people need money?  Aren't they, like, rich? Maybe Daddy controls everything, and gives them an allowance.

Suddenly Kelvin jumps out of the car.  Jesse scoffs that he wants to buy a new pair of 22s, custom shoes hand-crafted by Gabe Apodaca in Italy, keying into his gay-coded fashion obsession.  But he's actually noticed a security camera: they could get the van's license plate number!



Lucy has what Scotty needs:
At the hospital, Scotty and the Young Man discuss what to tell Lucy about the hill  She's "all fucked up," but Scotty  wants to see her anyway, because she can make him cum. 

He waits for the Young Man to offer a blow job instead, but he doesn't. 

Psych!  Scotty isn't planning on sex after all: he puts her in a wheelchair, and exclaims "We're getting out of here.!"  (Butt shot: his hospital gown is open in the back) Why did Scotty tell the Young Man that he wanted sex with Lucy?  Apparently to make him jealous, but of who?  Lucy, Scotty, or both?

"Did you just blow a kiss at me?": Cut to Jesse discovering that his wife and kids are still in contact with the runaway Gideon.  They even have good news: he just got cast in a Netflix movie; "he's doing well in LA, following his dreams."  Pontius repeats "Hollywood" in a sultry voice, then blows Jesse a kiss, teasing that Gideon is gay.  

Jesse wants to know how they dare to contact him when he "snipped our nuts." Why is moving to California like castrating your father?  

More threats after the break

Charles Ambrose: Civil War soldier, coast guardsman, martial artist, male model. With some risque photos

 


A partial cast list of Righteous Gemstones Episode 4.1 as appeared, with Charles Ambrose as Union Soldier Stephens.  Time for a profile.

His real name is Jason Ambrose, also Jason Charles Smith, and he's from Sandwich, Illinois, 60 miles west of Chicago. He attended Waubonsee Community College, then studied comedy at the Second City in Chicago.  I wonder if his standup routine is about growing up in Sandwich.



His resume lists several local Chicago-area plays, including The Music Man, The Moon is Down, Act Your Age, The Dating Game, and Julius Caesar.  And skills including combat, archery, horseback riding, firearms, rock climbing, jiu jitsu, and motorcycles.

Plus modeling.









23 credits on the IMDB, beginning in 2008 with the short Hell Mary.

Then occasional guest spots on tv, one or two every year.  Most of these characters don't appear in the plot synopses:




Andy on Sons of Anarchy, featuring the backside of Charlie Hunnan

Zane on Henry Danger

Deputy Jimmy on Lovecraft Country


Donny in Hollywood Vampire

Lucas in NCIS: Los Angeles

Coach Watkins in The Wonder Years update, with Julian Lerner as Brad Hitman.

His most substantial role to date: 23 episodes of the soap General Hospital, playing Ambrose, henchman of the evil Victor Cassadine.  On Victor's orders, he kidnaps Liesl Obrecht, kidnaps Ace Prince-Cassadine, and almost kills Spencer Cassadine




Coming up: The Legend of Van Dorn, about a Confederate soldier played by Lee Wilson, who was "immensely attractive to women."  Never to men, of course.  He was murdered by a husband upset over his wife's canoodling.  Charles plays General Red Jackson, another real-life figure.

And Secrets and Yards, about a small town football team with secrets.





More Charles after the break. Caution: Explicit.