Fans suggest that I try Vice Principals (2016-2018), Danny McBride's series about two high school vice principals scheming to take down their principal so they can take her job and enjoy all that fame, power, and wealth. Really?
Uh-oh. I'll watch an episode, just to track the homophobia and queerbaiting.
Scene 1: Gamby (Danny McBride) and Lee (Walton Goggins) have lured Principal Brown into a night of drunken debauchery to discredit her, so they can take over her job. They leave her passed out in the bathtub of a sleazy hotel, then burn all the evidence linking them to her deviance.
Does it make you nervous that two white men are going up against a black woman?
Scene 2: B Plot: Gamby gives his daughter a horse to make up for taking away her motorcycle. She is angry, and ignores him.
Later he asks how she likes the horse. She prefers the motorcycle. Besides, aren't horses expensive to keep up? Gamby tells her that he'll be principal soon, so money will be pouring in. Are principals really rich?
Scene 3: In the school cafeteria, Ganby and Lee criticize Principal Brown for eating too much. Then they review the footage they shot of drunken debauchery that will destroy her career. If she doesn't get drunk or have wild sex on school property, what's the problem?
Left: Danny McBride's butt.
Ganby can't remember his closer, "End of the line, Slut!" He's too distracted by his anguish: The Girl of His Dreams, whom he was dating, is ghosting him.
Scene 4: The guys lure Principal Brown in the woods by claiming that students are sneaking out there to smoke marijuana, and start to confront her with the evidence of her "gin-soaked evening." But she thanks them for helping her out: "I'm glad you were there...I really appreciate it."
Ganby tries to say "End of the line, Slut," but can't; she is being too nice. But Lee, the more evil of the two, steps in: "We have this here video of you acting all crazy. Your career is over! We won, bitch!"
He brags about some of the other things they did to her, like burn down her house, causing her to attack, punching and kicking them. If you've been waiting your whole life to see a middle-aged black lady and white man in a fist fight, your prayers have been answered. I find it a bit uncomfortable due to the overlay of institutional racism and patriarchy. She is a far superior fighter, if that helps.
Finally Lee gets around to the blackmail: step down as principal, or the video goes viral. Hey, isn't that a plot arc of the first season of Righteous Gemstones: give us a million dollars, or we'll post this video of your sex-and-drugs party?
Scene 5: Lee threw Principal Brown's shoe away, so she has to walk down the rocky trail back to the school semi-barefoot. She walks to her car in slow motion, gazes longingly at the school, and drives off.
More butts and racism after the break
Cut to the B plot: Ganby watching his daughter ride her horse. Ray (Shea Whigham, top poto and left) drops by. Wikipedia says that he is the husband of Ganby's ex, whom Ganby hates even though he is a nice guy. So the daughter's stepfather?
Ganby is happy that his daughter is "doing what she loves again," "out of death's way." Call back to an earlier crisis?
Ray complains that, as stepfather, he'll always be second in the daughter's heart. (Ok, ok, I looked up her name: Janelle.) "I'm jealous. Whatever I do, she'll always love you more." They bond.
Scene 6: Back to the A plot: Ganby drives to the school, and sees that Principal Brown's car is not in the parking lot. He asks around: no one has seen her since yesterday. Also, the Superintendent wants to set up a meeting with you. Uh-oh.
Left: Walton Goggins' butt.
Cut to the guys telling the faculty about her resignation: "We have no idea why. The woman had many dark secrets. It was probably substance abuse." They keep stacking it up, don't they?
At a school assembly, a Spanish teacher with a crush on Ganby -- played by Edie Patterson, Judy on The Righteous Gemstones -- yells at the Girl of His Dreams for talking. Ganby yells at her, too.
Scene 7: Out in the hallway, the Girl wants to know why Ganby singled her out, when everyone was talking. Because he's still in love with you? She explains the ghosting: she was turned off by how he handled Bill Haydn -- a history teacher played by Dean O'Gorman.
He counters that he is no longer interested in her anyway, because he's moving up to the lofty, prestigious position of school principal, and she's stuck as a lowly English teacher.
Scene 8: Ganby and Lee outside the South Carolina Public Schools building, congratulating each other for fulfilling their dream of principal superstardom. They assure each other that, whoever is selected, they will still be buds. They shake hands. No gay subtext here. but no queerbaiting, either.
Scene 9: Meeting with the Superintendent. I'll bet Principal Brown will be there to blame them for everything. Nope, she's not around.
The Superintendent points out that two principals have resigned in the last year. Plus there are missing textbooks.
He's going to fire them, isn't he? Nope, he wants appoint them co-principals! What kind of comeuppance is this?
They leave in slow motion, hollering and hugging and kicking the air. Still no gay subtext.
Scene 10: Ganby goes home to a surprise "congratulations on being appointed co-principal!" party thrown by the ex-wife, daughter, and Ray, who made him a hunting knife. Chekhov's gun: somebody better use that knife in the next 10 minutes.
And, by the way, Ganby bought his daughter Janelle a new motorcycle.
Scene 11: Lee is home with his wife, waiting for the school website to be updated. There it is, the co-principals! He complains about the picture they used, but his wife tells him to "Be happy." Still waiting for some comeuppance, McBride.
Lee wants to know where his evil mother-in-law is, so he can rub her face in his victory. But she already knows: she went into her room to pout.
Scene 12: The co-principals raise the flag on their first day. Lee congratulates Ganby on being evil enough to get the job done, and Ganby counters that they both did evil shit. But they don't have a change of heart: they walk in slow motion through the school, enjoying the adulation. Did Lee just slap that male student on the butt?
In the cafeteria, Chef Dayshaun -- Sheann McKinney, left --has prepared special pancakes for them.
Ganby gets the courage to talk to the Girl of His Dreams. He apologizes for treating her like shit and spreading rumors. They reconcile and kiss.
Scene 13: Emergency! Ganby is called to the parking lot: his car and Lee's car are both on fire. Then they explode! Former Principal Brown walks up in a scary mask and shoots him twice. He lies on the pavement, dying.
This is not the season finale -- there's another episode left. Danny McBride hates cliffhangers. The end.
Beefcake: None. Not even on the internet. I had to dig to find Shea Whigham, Danny McBride, and Scott Caan, left, who appears in only one episode.
Homophobia/Queerbaiting: I didn't see any. When Ganby and Lee sneak off into the woods to discuss strategy, some of their coworkers think they are going off to screw, but not in this episode.
Intricate plotting: Not at all. Very straightforward. Set-ups that go nowhere. The lost shoe should have played a role in the resolution. That knife should have been used to stab Ganby.
All plot threads resolved: no.
Happy ending: Two reconciliations, I think, but definitely not a happy ending, with the main character dying.
My Grade: No homophobia, no queerbaiting, but not much of interest. A sophomore effort at best. C+
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