"Exteriors": Gay psychological thriller with cheating husbands, mistaken identities, hookups, stalking, and Pano Pancakes' penis

 

A nude celebrity site led me to some j/o photos of someone named Pano Tsaklas, nicknamed Pano Pancakes in case you can't spell Tsaklas (it actually means jackal in Greek).  

Checking the IMDB to make sure he was an actor and not a singer or influencer, I found a lengthy biography: Grew up in Clark's Summit, Pennsylvania, liked skateboarding, played the viola, got a full scholarship to Temple University, where he graduated in 2017 with a major in Media Studies.

Six screen appearances listed, the most recent a movie, Exteriors (2023), a "poetic, surrealistic" psychological thriller consisting of three stories of gay men experiencing relationship problems.  But it turns out to be a sort-of sequel to Brotherly Lies (2022), so we'll start there.

When he was a teenager, Lex (Pano) shot and killed his abusive stepfather.  The resulting trial became a media circus and destroyed his life chances: he's infamous as a killer, so no one wants to date him.  After a nervous breakdown and suicide attempt, he seeks refuge at his family's vacation home in Guerneville (on the Russian River), along with his buddy Kenny (Jose Fernando  -- not the famous Spanish actor who died in 2014, the queer activist).  Kenny is fleeing from an abusive husband.

To complicate things, Lex falls in love with Shane, the strugglins screenwriter who rents the house next door (Jacob Betts -- not the "real" Jacob Betts, a singer songwriter, the queer one).  But Shane is in love with Kenny.   To complicate things, Lex's older brother is pressuring Shane into writing about the tragedy, which Lex considers a betrayal.  Things fall apart. 

Got the three main players?  Let's look at Exteriors.  

Part 1: Wyatt

 

Wyatt (Christian Gabriel, but not the prime suspect in the disappearance of an Ohio girl or the famous Romanian chess player, the queer one.  Why do these guys always have the same name as someone more famous?).  

So Wyat is in the park, getting some headshots taken by his friend Logan (Matthew Bridges, but not the world-famous plastic surgeon or the husband and father, the queer one). 

They discuss Logan's new boyfriend, a screenwriter that he met at a SAG event: much better than a hookup app, more organic.  They drove to Santa Monica, and he talked about his hopes and dreams, what he's looking for in a lover, and his last boyfriend (who cheated on him).  They haven't had sex yet -- no gay man would think of sex on the first date.  But they're definitely in love. 

The new boyfriend's name?  Shane (the struggling screenwriter that Lex fell in love with).  Wyatt is the ex-boyfriend who cheated!

Without revealing the connection, Wyatt storms into Shane's apartment and drops accusatory hints.  What's the problem?  In West Hollywood, your friends often dated your exes.  Sometimes a guy dated everyone in a friend group, one after the other.   

Things get more and more heated and angry.  Shane rushes out -- right into the arms of his boyfriend/Wyatt's friend Logan.

Wyatt and  Logan pretend not to know each other as Shane introduces them, and suggests that they all go out to lunch. 

Nope, no way. Wyatt  walks off into the darkness, buys another copy of the book he left at Shane's apartment when they broke up, sits on a park bench to read it.  The end.  That's it?  I expected blackmail or assault.  This kind of petered out into nothingness.

Part 2: Jason

Pool cleaner Jason (Julian Goza) is hired by Kenny (Lex's friend in "Brotherly Lies," the one with the abusive husband).  He recognizes Kenny from a hookup eight years ago that changed his life forever.  Kenny remembers him, too, and apologizes that he couldn't continue the relationship: he had a boyfriend, now his abusive husband.  

Jason pretends that he has car trouble so they can spend more time together; he hopes that Kenny will dump the abusive husband for him.  But it turns out that Kenny was just pretending to remember him.  None of the details he mentions match; they've never met.  Jason hooked up with someone else!

Jason: "You're cruel, misleading me like that."

Kenny: "I didn't know. I just figured it out."

 But maybe he could pretend to be the hookup, so Jason can tell him how he feels.  They continue talking, and sleep together (literally -- no shenanigans), and part as friends, just as Kenny gets a call from his old friend Lex.  He's having a crisis. That

More after the break

"Mid Century Modern," Episode 1.6: "Golden Girls" with gay guys. Plus Bomer's butt, Adam's cock, and Tommy's bj

In West Hollywood in the 1980s, every Saturday night at 9:00 pm, you could hear "Thank You For Being a Friend" coming from every apartment:

Thank you for being a friend

Traveled down a road and back again

Your heart is true

You're a pal and a confidant

as gay men sat down for a surcease from the AIDS crisis to  watch the adventures of The Golden Girls, four golden-aged ladies sharing a house in Miami.  Somehow they always ended up with cheesecake, and we did too.

Then they would head out to the Rage or Mugi or the Faultline, hoping to end up like Matt Bomer in the top photo.

180 Saturday nights with cheesecake, hookups, and Sophia's one-liners.  I'm misting up.

From left to right: Ditzy Minnesotan Rose, beset-upon Dorothy, horny Southern belle Blanche, and hanging back because the kitchen table only seats three, wisecracking Sophia.

Hulu has just dropped a 2025  homage to The Golden Girls, except it is set in Palm Springs rather than Miami, and it features gay men: ditzy Jerry (Matt Bomer), horny Arthur (Nathan Lee Graham), beset-upon Bunny (Nathan lane), and wisecracking Sybill (Linda Lavin).  Lavin died in December 2024, but she appears in all ten Season 1 episodes.

I'm going to review Episode 1.6, "Maid Serviced," in which the guys hire a "sexy but unqualified" housekeeper.  

Scene 1:  I watch with the sound off to avoid annoying laugh tracks, but I'm imagining "Thank You for Being a Friend" as we zoom into Bunny's mansion (Bunny?  what kind of name is that for a guy, regardless of how swishy he is?).   It's the kitchen where the Girls ate cheesecakes, but now it's Arthur and Bunny at the table, Jerry cooking.  Arthur complains about the leaky sink; Bunny, busily sorting his pills "by Jew," ugh, assures him that a plumber is working on it now, and Jerry says that he dated a plumber once, with no details or dirty double entendres.  Come on, Blanche, say something about your pipes!

The pill-sorting turns into a girl-group song: "He had it coming."   This is painful to watch.  Why is it that gay guys on tv act nothing like any gay guy I've ever met in real life?  

Scene 2: Jerry asks if it's ok to store his energy drinks in the fridge.  Arthur: "I can answer for her.  Miss Havisham wants everything arranged like it was when she still had hope."  Calling gay men she?  Come on, is it 1958?  

Left: Jerry's junk.

Mom enters and announces that the housekeeper quit.  She said she didn't sign up to clean for three men. "I told her, what three men ?  They're gay. Together they barely add up to one."  Being gay makes you a woman, I get it.   The Will and Grace gang used to say the same thing. 

Bunny wants to prove that it's the other guys' house, too, so he suggests that the three of them work together to hire a new housekeeper.  Mom: "What about me?  Did women lose the right to vote?"  Not right now, but by summertime, probably.

Scene 4: Interviewing an applicant who podcasts about her cleaning hacks.  "I'm obsessed with cleaning.  My friends say I'm a little anal." Jerry: "My friends say that, too."  He has gay sex, har har.

She demonstrates her trick for opening a jar.  "There's nothing too tight for me to open."  Looking at you for a dirty double entendre, Jerry.  Nope, Arthur says it.

"We're all impressed, and think you would be perfect..."  The next applicant, hunky Bo (Adam Hagenbuch), comes in..."Sorry, the job is filled."  I saw that joke coming a mile away.  Jerry, I said "coming."  Where's your dirty double entendre?

The complement him: "You're so handsome, you should have a one-man show, Bo on Broadway.  People would come to that.  I'd come every night."  There it is.

The interview: He's been in Palm Springs for two months.  He came with his boyfriend, but they've broken up, so he's single. 

Gay and single!  The guys squeal and shriek with absurd over-eagerness, as if they've never seen a hot guy before.  Come on, this is ridiculous.

They're ready to hire him, but he's confused.  "What about the push-ups?  In every other job interview, I have to do push-ups."  Naturally.

While they are watching with absurdly over-eager glee, Mom calls Bunny into the kitchen and warns, "Never hire someone that you want to schtup."  It's ok if you don't pressure them into it.  Bunny insists that he is the best qualified.

More after the break.  Caution: Explicit.

"The Holiday Exchange": Immensely wealthy A-gays look for love at Christmas. Watch with your grandmother

  

It's not even Halloween yet, but the romcoms are started.  

Darn, they all have such interchangeable titles that I forgot which one I'm reviewing. Oh, right, The Holiday Exchange, on Amazon Prime.  

The icon shows a woman torn between two men, and the blurb is about a guy going on a "holiday exchange" that he found on a gay app, so I suspect some "mistaken for gay" jokes as the guy finds the Girl of His Dreams.

Scene 1: A guy wearing an eye mask and a frilly shirt wakes up -- gay. Close-up of a photo of him and his boyfriend -- gay.  He knocks it over, drinks some booze, and shaves and applies femme moisterizer products -- gay. 

A guy texts: "Wilde, call me back," but he ignores it.  Moisturizer guy is named Wilde, like Oscar?  Gay. He's played by Taylor Frey, top photo, who also wrote the screenplay.

Knock on the door: It's femme fashion designer Chase, Colton Tran, and a woman, with ideas for his wedding outfit: "Your Mom told us that your Big Day was coming."

"Nope, you misunderstood, I'm not getting married, I'm selling my company."

"Oh, well, we have ideas for that, too."

Wilde goes annoyingly over the top complementing Fashion Designer Chase; he is an angel, a shining light, goodness personified; he has created everlasting happiness for literally thousands of people by...um...designing their clothes. 

Back story: Wilde just dumped his boyfriend, Sean.

Scene 2:  An idyllic village, over the top idyllic, Currier & Ives idyllic. 

George tells his business partner Oliver, Rick Cosnett, how they met, confesses to drinking too much, and then lays on the over-effusive praise.  

Oliver is also an angel, goodness personified, spearheading drives that raise billions for charity. He's single-handedly wiped out world hunger.  Don't introduce Oliver to Chase the Fashion Designer, or they'll cancel each other out.  

His problems: he is too busy with his day job as a divorce lawyer, his numerous charities, and taking over Dad's business when he retires to get a boyfriend. Coworker George is in favor of being single. This must be the "mistaken for gay" guy.

Wait -- they specifically state that they live in Los Angeles.  The establishing shot was a New England Currier & Ives village. What the fudge?

Out in the elegant party, Saintly Oliver talks to James, who works in his company.  They hedge around the discussion of why their last date was so awful. So Saintly Oliver and Moisturizer Wilde are both gay?  Who's going to hook up with the lady in the middle of the icon?  

No,  James "can't" get together during the holidays: he'll be seeing family, driving up the coast. Dude's not into you. 

I'm watching with subtitles, so I can't hear the accents, but these people are saying "Happy Christmas" to each other.  Could they live in Britain, but be having an elegant party in L.A.?

More after the break.