Kelton's Hot/Hung Photos, Part 1: Chanting, wrestling, growing a beard, going blond. With some potential Kelton and Dad telephone poles.

This is a collection of cute/cool and hot/humorous photos of actor Kelton Dumont, best known as Pontius in The Righteous Gemstones.  I posted most of them in 2024, but some are new, and there have been other changes.  

1. "When I go blond, I go all the way"

2, Kelton and his dad James practice Sokka Gakkai Buddhism, where you chant "Nam myoho renge kyo" and learn compassion, truth, and optimism: "We need to be able to continually direct our minds in a bright, positive, and beneficial direction and help those around us to do so, too."

Maybe I should do a post on Buddhism.

3. Kelton and James at the WBC Main Event in New Orleans. 

A blond Buddhist boxing fan. I'm in love.  

4. Fam graduation.  Paul is now studying architecture at the Savannah School of Art and Design.

5. Not Kelton.  

6. Kelton on the Creative Lotus Podcast discusses how he can repay his debt of gratitude: through the way he lives his life and interacts with others, and through his art.  

I feel funny looking for nude photos of a guy who is so spiritually aware.

More after the break.  Caution: Explicit.

Adam Devine's divine dick

Previous: Adam Devine's Ginormous Glutes

The Righteous Gemstones is known for its cock shots, but none come from the main cast, so all we have seen of Kelvin (Adam DeVine) to date is his physique, bulge, and butt

As Mama Rose tells us in Gypsy:

That's okay for some people

Some hum-drum everyday people

who don't know they're alive. 

But I want to see the Full Monty.

Kelvin failed to show us his Gemstone dick, but we can see the glorious Adam Devine in two movies:

Jexi (2019) features Adam as a life coach whose cell phone becomes sentient and tries to control his life, including sending dick pics to everyone he knows.

He confirmed that it is him, not a stunt cock.

In an interview, he stated that when fans say "I liked your movie," they are talking about his acting.  When they say "I really, really, really liked your movie," they are talking about his cock.

More after the break

'Chad Powers": A-hole footballer disguised as a college student, with a gay roommate and lots of bare chests. And other bare stuff.

I have no interest in -- or knowledge of -- football, but when the new Hulu series Chad Powers is advertised by two hunks gazing at each other, ready to fight or kiss, what choice do I have?  

Wait -- the two hunks are both Glen Powell, who you recall from Scream Queens and Top Gun: Maverick.  He's playing Russ Holliday, a famous college football player who was cancelled after an altercation with a kid in a wheelchair (and various other a-hole acts).  He schemes to get back into the game by creating a new identity, Chad Powers, and playing for the  struggling Catfish football team at South Georgia College (like, he's catfishing them, har har).  Presumably he'll take classes, too.   

Left: Glenn's butt.

In Episode 1.1, he steals a lot of supplies from his Oscar-winning makeup artist Dad to create the character, goes to the campus, and has a meet-cute with team mascot Danny (Frankie Rodriguez), a fashion-and-pop culture junkie who offers to help him with the deception.  "Your new identity needs to be a modest, likeable guy.  Just play the opposite of yourself."  Danny is also a makeup artist. Dude is obviously gay.  

I'm reviewing Episode 1.2, where Russ tries to maintain his new identity at a party at the coach's lake house -- shirtless hunks are promised.

Scene 1:  Russ and Danny are behind the building, near the dumpsters.  Russ roils at his prosthetic cheeks, but Danny insists: "You have to become Chad Powers. But don't talk much."  Dylan (Jordan Mendoza) arrives with his new identification materials and transcripts, "but I couldn't find him a home address."  No problem, he can stay with Danny.  Tell me more. 

Gross -- there's a bug burrowing into his prosthetic cheek!

Frankie Rodriguez is gay in real life, and has played gay characters in High School Musical: the Series, Modern Family, and Will and Grace.  I'm sure that Danny is gay, too, but they may not give us more than a few hints.

Scene 2:  Football practice.  Subplot involves the fussy Coach (Steve Zahn) and his assistant, secretly his daughter (doubtless also Russ's Love Interest). 

Coach summons Russ/Chad to note a problem with his transcripts: he was homeschooled in West Virginia, in a wilderness surrounded by wolves (nope, no wolves east of Minnesota).  So how did he manage to play high school football?

"Oh, I played...um...with the wolves."

Um...ok.  The Coach needs a winning season, or he'll be fired, so he's willing to suspend his disbelief.

Next Gerry (Colton Ryan), from the scout team and backup, introduces himself.  So far, we have five named male characters.  I'm getting a testosterone high. Who cares what a "scout team" and "backup" are?

80% of the photos Colton Ryan's Instagram show him hugging, kissing, and frolicking with a lady, and the other 20% show her alone, dressed as a man, showing her legs, smooching at the camera.  I'm guessing that he's straight. 

Wait, here's one where he's by himself.

Back to Chad Powers: Gerry teaches Russ/Chad his secret handshake, "a p*ssy symbol, because I get a lot of it."  I know -- I've seen the first 300 pictures on your Instagram. 

Gerry may want to be friends, but the other players ridicule Russ/Chad, especially Bully Nishan (Xavier Mills).

They start the practice.  Russ/Chad screws up and is demoted to backup: "Hey, Flowers for Algernon, this is where you grab this clipboard." Literary reference, har har.

Football research: There are two quarterbacks on each team. The Starting Quarterback is chosen for his ability to draw photo-ops, fawning articles, and hefty donations from boosters.  The Backup does the grunt work while the other players call him names.  But if the Starting Quarterback is injured or traded to another team, won't the Backup take over, and the players who thought he was worthless will have to do what he says? 

On the sidelines, Russ/Chad asks his Love Interest why Coach demoted him to Backup.  "The Starting QB hasn't been decided yet," she assures him.  "Coach wants you and Gerry to compete for the role."  

More after the break.  Caution: Explicit.

Searching for gay-subtext buddy-bonds on "The Really Loud House." With gay Dads and a heck of a lot of butts

Lately I've been nostalgic for one of those old-fashioned gay-subtext buddy couples, not interested in girls, invested only in each other, that we used to see everywhere: Jonny and Hadji, Terry and Raji, Alix and Enak, Ricky and Alfonso on Silver Spoons, Larry and Kennard in Darkover.   I even bought a new book, The Town with the Butterfly Problem, because PJ and his best friend Grant are traveling through the fantasy world together, and no heterosexual romances are mentioned in the plot synopsis -- but in the very first paragraph, he's trying to impress a cute girl. Ugh! Right into the trash!

Paramount Plus recommended The Really Loud House, a live-action sequel to The Loud House (2016-2025).  You know, the one with a nuclear family consisting of mom, dad, 3,000 girls and one boy.  

The live action version centers on the boy, Lincoln Loud  (Wolfgang Schaeffer), having adventures with his best friend, Clyde McBride (Jahzir Bruno).  No doubt a classic gay-subtext buddy couple!

The original had some LGBT representation.  Clyde has two dads; one of the girls expresses a "blink and you'll miss it" interest in a girl; another has a gay friend, Miguel (queer actor Tonatiuh Elizarraraz), who appears in four episodes but only alludes to being gay once, when he gets a boyfriend (Vladimir Versailles) in another "blink and you'll miss it" moment.

So maybe Lincoln and Clyde will have more than a gay-subtext buddy-bond.  Maybe they'll be boyfriends!  

I'm reviewing episode 1.6, "School Dance," to see if the boys go together.  Or if there are any same-sex couples dancing.  Or both.

Scene 1: The kids are making decorations for the Big Dance at their middle school, the Kangaroo Hop, while journalist Liam (Gavin Maddox Bergman) films interviews with them.  

Gavin Maddox Bergman played Oliver Twist in Spirited (2022), young Ben in Salem's Lot (2023), and Cal Starr in Americana (2024).  I'm getting a gay vibe from him, but the character of Liam is heterosexual.

First interview: Rusty Spokes (Nolan Maddox) and his girlfriend Charlie (named after a boy to provide a gay tease for those of us reading episode synopses).  They discuss how much they love each other.  "My favorite color is your eyes..." Rusty exclaims.  Holy sh*t, these people are twelve years old. Were they, like, born horny? 

Nolan Maddox (Rusty Spokes) is now 18, but this is not his butt. 

Strikingly femme Lincoln watches mournfully.  Best buddy Clyde consoles him over Rusty dating Charlie.  Wait -- you're into Charlie, femme boy?  Did you not notice that she's a girl?.

When it's Lincoln's turn to be interviewed, he notes that he was going bring "just friend" Stella (figures you have a lot of girl "just friends").  But she's at a science fair, so it will be solo.  

And Clyde will be going with dad's chiropracter's daughter.

Scene 2: Interview with Best Buddy Clyde's dads.  They are concerned that their son has not yet found his First Love.  He's in middle school, much later than most kids.  They are so desperate for him to click with "that someone special" that they arrranged for Clyde's date with the chiropracter's daughter.  So he hasn't expressed any heterosexual interest, yet the two gay guys never consider for a minute that he might be gay.  That's awfully heteronormative of them.

Ray Ford (Dad Harold), seen here at his godson's graduation, doesn't mention kids of his own, but half of his Instagram photos show him cheek-to-cheek with various ladies, so I'm guessing straight in real life.

Stephen Guarino (Dad Howard) kisses a boy in Eastsiders, and makes out with a dude while naked in Bearcity, so I'm going to guess that he's gay in real life.  Left: his butt.

Yes, I know that having two dads as a focus of the episode rather than just hanging around is a step forward. On Ducktales (2020), they just stood on stage, not speaking, for a moment at their daughter's award ceremony.  But they're heteronormative bias is still annoying.

I'm skipping over a plot about baseball or something.

Scene 3: The Dads were looking forward to taking the pre-dance photos at their house, memorializing Clyde's move into his heterosexual destiny forever.  I feel your pain, Clyde: my parents still have a photo of me and the girl I brought to the Harvest Dance about a year before I figured it out -- five boyfriends and a gay marriage later, it's still on the dresser in their bedroom!  

Uh-oh, Best Buddy Clyde calls: the pre-dance photos will be taken at the Loud House, to take advantage of the appetizers provided by Femme Lincoln's dad.   "No problem, have fun," the Dads say as their hearts are crushed.

Now they become irate:  "The Louds have burglared our milestone -- the most important moment of our child's life."  Most important moment?  Really?  Why are you so anxious for your son to be heterosexual?  What's wrong with gay people, gay dudes? 

More butts after the break