Tony demonstrates how to pick up that hot guy at the gym

 

We've all had this problem: the hot guy at the gym won't respond when you try to make eye contact or say hello.    Even the famous actor Tony Cavalero struck out from time to time, until he developed a foolproof method for getting the hot guy's attention, and maybe even making him your gym boyfriend.

1. Scope out your target, then do the same exercise, but with more weight to impress him.

2. That didn't work? Take your shirt off.

3. Still nothing?  

4. Try struggling with a bicep curl.  He'll rush over to spot you.  

More spotting after the break

Gemstones Season 2 Memes: Kelvin swishes, Joe Canoli bulges, there's no Brad Pitt, and I don't get an Easy Bake Oven

This is a series of memes -- jokes -- featuring Kelvin and Keefe of The Righteous Gemstones, their friends, and a few random hunks.  Most don't require you to have any background knowledge of the show.

1. A few random hunks

2. Could you at least get naked?

Tony: What do you mean, Kelvin and Keefe don't kiss this season?  Can we at least have sex?

3. How to hug while pretending to be straight.

Kelvin: No, your head goes...

Keefe: I think I put my right arm...um..over here...

Kelvin: My hand goes on your butt...no, on your waist...hey, are you aroused?

Keefe: No..a little...ok, a lot.

Kelvin: Move your thigh over there...no, there...your hand goes here...dude, I told you to research how straight guys hug.

4. Ready for another random hunk?

5. Nobody is that good an actor, Kelvin.

Kelvin: Hey, Bro, there sure are a lot of attractive ladies here tonight.  I really enjoy looking at attractive ladies, don't you? Hee-hee, I'm so good at playing a straight guy that Jesse doesn't suspect a thing.

6. Eli should have known that this would happen

Eli: Remember, when the new converts walk on stage, Judy hugs the men, and you hug the women.

Kelvin: No problem, Daddy, I can handle that.  Here comes the first....eww....I can feel her brassiere strap...eww...Judy, stop laughing...eww....eww

Eli: Game change.  Kelvin, you take the men.

Kelvin: Oh, thank God!

More closeted Kelvin after the break

Tommy Nelson and Boyfriends: Boyfriends, buddies, bromantic partners, crushes, and cocks

In my earlier profile of Tommy Nelson, star of My Friend Dahmer and Cat and Mouse, guest on The Righteous Gemstones and Better Call Saul, I noted that he married a woman in 2023.  Thus obviously straight, right?

Wait -- there are lots of bi/pan people in the world.  A closer look at Tommy's posts on social media reveals a lot of pre-marriage boyfriends or bromantic partners including Alex Wolff and a non-actor named Ryan.  Plus implications of getting down to business, maybe as a joke, maybe not.

1. Watching tv with a buddy in Fairborn, Ohio, a suburb of Dayton.  I can't tell who belongs to which leg, but they are obviously being intimate. Tommy tells his followers to "laugh."

2. Beer bottle placed strategically over his crotch to emulate an erection.  We've all done that to attract gay men, who always look at other men face-crotch-face.

3. Tommy's main man Ryan.  He invites his fans to invent "ship" names. Rymmy and Tyan sound too weird.

4. A younger Ryan mowing the lawn.

More after the break.  Caution: explicit

Gideon Gemstone Memes: impressing a cute boy, a hung Keefe, and Skyler's first clothed scene in five years

This is a series of memes -- jokes -- featuring Gideon of The Righteous Gemstones, and friends.  Most don't require you to have any background knowledge of the show.

1. Some friends

2. We've all been there

Teenage Gideon at the sleepover: "This is fascinating.  Reminiscent of the early Faulkner, with the homoerotic subtexts that one often finds in Southern Gothic fiction."

The cute boy he's trying to impress: Dude, that's a blank scrapbook.

3. Perform with your shirt off.  No one will notice.

Gideon: I'm sorry, I'm not up to performing in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.  Tell my understudy that he'll have to do it.

Keefe: This is NOT a coat of many colors.  Three, tops. Call Gideon again.

4. Room for one more.

When Gideon invited his buds to the sleepover, he didn't mention that they would be sharing one single bed. Not that they minded.

5. Upset that he wasn't invited to the sleepover.

More Gideon after the break