Jacob Sartorius: Femme teen idol into heterosexism, cowboys, and frontal nudity

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Asa Butterfield: A dozen "boy meets girl" movies, a dozen nude photos, and a boyfriend

I keep thinking that Asa Butterfield is American due to his old-fashioned name -- maybe Moravian or Amish -- but he's actually British, born in Islington, 30 minutes by underground from the British Museum.  It has pubs called The Earl of Essex, The Duke of Cambridge, and the Pig and the Butcher.  Can't get more British than that.

He got his start in horribly depressing movies like After Thomas and The Boy in the Striped Pajamas, 2007, which of course were on my "run away fast" list.  

Then came Hugo, 2011, a fantasy with an ending that made me cringe -- the photo looks like two boys have the adventure, but it's actually a boy and a girl.  When Hugo announces that he's got a girlfriend, the adults throw confetti, high-five each other, and scream with joy.  That happened to me every time I mentioned a girl, no matter how casually: "A girl in my class did a book report on Finnegan's Wake."  "Hallelujah, he's straight!  He's normal!  We don't have to worry anymore!  Here, have some money and the keys to the car!"

Although it did allow me to get away with anything: "Sorry I left my jacket on the bus.  I was talking to this girl, see..."  "Hah-hah, of course, boys will be boys!  Here, have some money and the keys to the car!"

I didn't see Ender's Game, 2013, because the original novel was written by the horribly homophobic Orson Scott Card, or A Brilliant Young Mind, 2014, because the brilliant young math prodigy gets a brilliant young girlfriend. 

The novel version of Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children contains no heterosexual romance, but in the 2016 movie version, there are three of them. It's boys and girls gazing into each other's eyes all the way down. 

Are you noticing a pattern here?

Then Came You, 2018: A boy falls in love with a dying girl. This seems to be quite a trope.  Why do girls never fall in love with dying boys?  Of course I'm not seeing it.

Time Freak, 2018.  At least Asa has a gay-subtext relationship with Skyler Gisondo en route to winning the Girl of His Dreams.

Your Christmas or Mine?, 2022.  Isn't Asa a little young to graduate to Christmas romcoms?

Asa's biggest role to date is in the tv series Sex Education, 2019-23.  He plays Otis, a boy whose mom is a sex therapist, so he and his friends get the idea of opening a clinic to solve teenagers' sex problems. There are some gay characters, but Otis is straight.  And naked a lot.

More after the break. Caution: Explicit

Aaron Goldenberg: Former fundamentalist, Cousin Karl's boyfriend, Mean Gay. With some underwear bulges.

 

Aaron Goldenberg is an Atlanta based comedian with 41.000 followers on Facebook, 294,000,  on Instagram, and 1.2 million on Tiktok. 

He is best known for his series of "Mean Gays" videos with Jake Jonez: they make snarky comments at your wedding, your baby shower, by the pool, at your dinner party. The "hookup" video, where the Mean Gays invite you over for "some fun" and discover that you're a little older and huskier than your profile photo, has gone viral, with over 4 million views on Twitter and Tiktok.

Well, we've all been there.

The Mean Gays went national in 2024 when they "invaded," or rather hosted, the Razzies, the annual awards for the worst movies and actors of the year.

Aaron also riffs, or rather comments, on his fundamentalist childhood -- hiding in plain sight, parents in denial, friends saying "Hate the sin but love the sinner," coming out to his pastor.  It did not go well.

Aaron has 21 acting and 9 writing credits on the IMBD, beginning in his fundamentalist days with the short "Witnesscylin," about a drug that can help you win souls.  He has played Confused Bellhop in Burn Notice, Emaciated Vampire in So Dark, and the Host of Rap Shit.

He has a scene in Season 3 of The Righteous Gemstones, as Percy the Interior Designer, who is working on the siblings' new executive board room.  Kelvin is nice to him,so I interpreted this as an attempt to form social connections with other LGBT people. 

I was so impressed with Percy that I used him in four fan stories: he has a date with Kelvin during the breakup with Keefe; attends their commitment ceremony; and finally starts dating Cousin Karl Montgomery.  There's even an explicit story about their first night together.

More Percy..um, I mean Aaron..after the break

Skyler's Hot/Hung Photos, Part 3: Basketball, beach boys, wrestling, giving a guy his leg

This is a collection of cute/cool or hot/humorous photos of  Skyler Gisondo, star of The Santa Clarita Diet and The Righteous Gemstones, and Jimmy Olson in the upcoming Superman: Legacy. As far as I know, he's over 18 in all of them.  He doesn't have any verifiable nude photos online, but some of his friends do, and there are some interesting chatroom and hookup app possibilities.

1. Why is Skyler the only one with his shirt off?

2. "Homie wouldn't help you put sunscreen on my back."  

3. Why not?  Is the dude homophobic, or does he want you to lie on your back so he can see your abs?

4. Obviously they've been wrestling.  I have absolutely no idea what else they could be doing that leaves them on the floor, out of breath.

5. But we're not playing shirts vs. skins, buddy.

6. I dig the lesbian haircut, Sky Baby, but your sweater shrank in the wash.

More ginormous Gisondo after the break.  Warning: Explicit