RG Beefcake and Boyfriends: Gemstones Episode 4.9, Continued: Do the siblings really die? Do Kelvin and Keefe really get married? Plus some random cocks to get you through it.

Previous: Gemstones Episode 4.9: Corey moonwalks, Pontius hugs, and BJ greases his pole. Plus two hunkoids on crosses
Earlier in the episode, Corey asks for $7 million to keep the Gator Farm open, but Eli and the siblings refuse. This causes a meltdown. To defuse the situation, the siblings push Corey out to play cornhole, and Eli takes the rest of the family out on his boat.

Cornhole with Corey: The siblings say that they'll help any way that they can, other than giving you $7 million, of course.

Kelvin's $5,000 shirt is stained with chocolate, so he runs upstairs to change, and hears his mama whisper to him. There she is! Or is it someone else, masquerading as Aimee-Leigh for a nefarious purpose?

She leads him into Corey's room, for some reason, then vanishes. Look, it's Corey's bag, with a gun inside, and the Gold-Plated Bible! Wait -- why would Aimee-Leigh want to point out the Bible? All it does is implicate Corey as an accessory in Cobb's theft. And why would Corey bring it along on a weekend at the lake house?

Suddenly Corey is there. "Why you sniffing my underwear?"

Kelvin quickly shoves the Bible in his back pocket. "Oh -- um, I was looking for a shirt to wear...I must have walked in the wrong room."

"Is that all?" He stumbles and stutters, but Corey lets him leave.

He rushes down and shows the Bible to the siblings.

Corey Comes Clean: Uh-oh, here's Corey. He explains that Cobb stole the Bible, but gave it to him because he kept his mouth shut about th eome invasion. Afterwards, he helped Cobb. They called it the "Ex-Boyfriends Club": whenever Lori found a new guy, it was time for a meeting of the Ex-Boyfriend's Club: "And then we would handle things, one way or another." You're confessing all this because Kelvin found the Bible?

Flashback to Corey watching from his car as Cobb beats up a guy with a board.

"At first Dad would just fight them. Then things got worse and worse."

A guy falls out of the back of the Gator Farm truck and tries to run, but Cobb shoots him.

"Daddy was a monster. By the time we got to Big Dick Mitch, I was a monster, too."

So Cobb and Corey have been taking care of the boyfriends for 20 year, and Lori never noticed? Surely one of the beat-up guys would mention it instead of just ghosting her.

Next question: Is Big Dick th only boyfriend that Cobb kept as a sex slave, or were there others?

Corey heads back into the house. The siblings think he's going to kill himself, and follow.

A selfie of a random twink, to steel you up for what happens next.

The Siblings Die: Once they reach the house, Corey starts shooting. Judy is down! Jesse and Kelvin run!

Meanwhile, on the boat, Gideon hears gunshots.

Corey turns up the music loud, so they won't hear as he chases Jesse and Kelvin through the house: UB40, "Red Red Wine."

All I can do, I've done. Memories won't go.

I'd have sworn, that with time thoughts of you would leave my head

I was wrong -- now I find just one thing makes me forget

Corey brought the Golden Bible to the Lake House because covering up for Cobb that night marked the beginning of his descent. If the siblings gave him the money, things might have been different -- maybe he would have returned it to get closure -- but their rejection suggests that he can't be redeemed. He will die a monster. So he goes after them.

Kelvin rushes into Eli's room. Corey follows him and checks under the bed. Not there; he jumps out from behind a curtain and attacks. Corey shoots him. Notice the parallel with the home invasion; Kelvin is no longer afraid.

Next Corey shoots through a closet door, and Jesse collapses -- but still alive!

Out of bullets, Corey heads out to his truck and starts assembling a high-power rifle. The siblings crawl toward each other, alive but injured. I already knew that a wedding was coming up. At this point I was wondering if it was a dream sequence, or Eli marrying Lori.

Jesse has a gun in his room, but they're too weak to climb the stairs. So Judy rings for the Monkey, and tells it to go upstairs and fetch Jesse's purse.

The Monkey brings it, and as Corey walks in with his rifle, Jesse shoots him.

The siblings hover over him as he is dying. "I'm sorry, y'all," he tells them.

Corey has realized that he isn't a monster after all. Like the boys dying during the Civil War, he killed not out of a violent nature, but because he was forced. Now he is dying, and scared. He asks the siblings to pray for him.

Knowing that they are dying, too, the siblings also pray for themselves, evoking the pain that has kept them from God, and from each other, through four seasons:

Judy: Anger

Kelvin: Fear

Jesse: Jealousy

For all of them: The belief that they are not worthy of love.

Of course they aren't. None of us are. But by some miracle, we are loved anyway.

Lord, I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word, and I shall be healed.

More after the break. Caution: Explicit.

Whoa, I'll bet you didn't expect profound theological insights from a tv show specializing in d*cks and dirty jokes.

And the siblings don't die. I imagine that the family came to investigate, and arrived a moment later. Remember that BJ was shot in the leg in Season 2; he would bleed out in two minutes, and there was no one around to administer first aid, yet he lived. God loves the Gemstones.

The Wedding: At the tree house (why do two men in their 40s, who live in a mansion, need a tree house?). Kelvin is wearing a white robe, and Keefe a glittery black outfit with a phoenix.

Eli: "Sad fact of life is we lose people. But if we do it right, we find new ones along the way. New loves, faithful companions that we call family. That's what marriage is."

They say their own vows: Spitting on their hands (gross!), handshake, and exchanging electric rings that glow.

The Gemstones and the Freemans are on Kelvin's side, along with an otherwise unidentified Cape and Pistol guy. Keefe's side has a lot of Prism people, a weird-looking couple, probably his parents (he hugs them at the reception), and two empty chairs. For Lori and Corey?

The Reception: Njght. Notice that the banner says "Keefe and Kelvin," whereas fans always say "Kelvin and Keefe."

There's a choir singing "Rocket to Your Heart" by Lisa, a standard in gay clubs of the 1980s:

I wanna dance, dance and sing

I wanna show you everything I know

I'm sending a rocket to your heart.

Kelvin and Keefe start the dance, and everyone joins in.

None of the brothers brought dates to the reception. Ok, I've been waiting three seasons for Gideon to express romantic interest in someone after breaking up with Scotty. This was his last chance. I'm calling it: he's gay.

Martin congratulates Eli for finally getting all of his kids married off, so he can retire. Baby Billy wonders where Miss Lori is. "We're good," Eli says.

The fireworks go off, and the Keefe and Kelvin banner bursts into flames. Everyone applauds.

Who is the guy holding the glass? He's not in the cast list, but I want to do a profile of him.

The classic Shakespearean comedy ends with a wedding, but we're not done yet. There are still plot arcs to resolve, and Aimee-Leigh's farewell to the viewers.

Next: Gemstones Season 4 Finale: Saying goodbye, with eight gay/bi characters, endless cocks, and a friggin' glory hole