Siblings is a Britcom (2014-16) now streaming on Amazon Prime, featuring lazy, amoral siblings Hannah and Dan (Charlotte Richie, Tom Stourton). Reminds me of The Other Two, so let's take a look at "Wheelchair Conference," which the IMDB calls Episode 1.1, but Amazon Episode 3.3
Scene 1: At breakfast, Dan is describing a bank robbery that "really happened," but it turns out to be a movie. Hannah has to rush to work (at 10:30), because she has a new boss who might expect her to show up. The old one was always drunk, and didn't notice whether she was there or not.
But what is Dan supposed to do while she is away? "Go out and make a friend."
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Scene 2: Hannah rushes into the office just as Drunk Boss is leaving. He's been sacked for good for silly things like "gross incompetence." Now she has to find a way to kiss up to the new boss
Cut to the coffee shop, where Dan approaches a Writer (Rob Carter, who is heterosexual) busily working on his novel (just work at home0. He asks inane questions, and "jokes" that he's going to pour coffee on the guy's laptop. But he slips, and actually does! (just work at home). Friendship attempt thwarted, he leaves.
Scene 3: After a long day of trying unsuccessfully to make friends, Dan comes home to Hannah conducting extensive research on the new boss, looking for an angle. The problem is, there are a lot of Annette Walkers online, so she has to learn about everything from Costa Rica to the University of Hull.
Ulp, there's a homeless guy named Biscuit in the house. Time for a lot of jokes about how homeless people are disgusting, har har, and Dan is an idiot for inviting one home, har har. About 40% of homeless youth are LGBT, kicked out by homophobic parents. A sizeable percentage are victims of physical and sexual abuse.
Scene 4: At the office, Hannah tries to kiss up to the new boss by demonstrating her knowledge of Costa Rica and the University of Hull, but this is a different Annette Walker. She's been going through the reports, and discovers that Kevin's job encompasses Hannah's job, so one of them is redundant. Hannah falsely accuses Kevin of being homophobic, so he'll be let go. Interesting -- 20 years ago you would be fired for being gay, and now you're fired for being homophobic.
Kevin is played by Matthew Steer. No intel on whether he's gay.
Uh-oh, Kevin is talking to the new boss about his report analyzing five years of appraisal statistics. Hannah heads him off with "Weren't you saying last week that gay people shouldn't be allowed to live by the seaside?" "Um...no."
The Boss can't work late tonight, because she's meeting her son for dinner, and she has to get the company car refitted for his wheelchair. What a coincidence -- Kevin had to get his car refitted for his mother-in-law's wheelchair! Uh-oh, Hannah is out.
Or maybe not: "My brother Dan uses a wheelchair, too. He's 23."
"My son is 23, too! Why don't the two of you come to dinner with us tonight!" Setting them up on a date?
It takes a while to become accustomed to using a wheelchair.
Scene 5: Dan falls head-over-heels in love with the son, Charlie, who is a video game developer -- his dream job! And Charlie is impressed by the jokes that Dan's sister hates. Dan asks him out on a date:
"Sorry, I have a basketball game tomorrow night, but you can come and watch. We're playing in the semis."
"I've got a semi right now!" Thanks for sharing, buddy.
Charlie is played by David Proud, who uses a wheelchair in real life. He is famous for his role as Adam Best, a snobbish Oxford student, on EastEnders, and is heterosexual in real life.
Back at dinner, Dan explains how he had the "accident" that led to his needing a wheelchair: he was jet-skiing in Puerto Rico with this smokin' hot supermodel -- incredible body -- and they were making out, and...dude, I don't care if your bi, but you won't attract gay men by talking about ladies with incredible bodies.
Scene 6: Boss Annette invites Heather to a business weekend, where they will be staying "in a hotel" (tell me more, tell me more)
Cut to the wheelchair basketball team in a pub after the game (hey, no fair -- I wanted to see some of the game). Dan asks Charlie to stay with him "for the rest of my life." Too soon, dude!
Left; Random n*de guy who uses a wheelchair.
Then Dan invites Charlie for a sleepover: "Of course, we won't be doing much sleeping!" Charlie balks, a straight dude not realizing that Dan has been hitting on him, so he backtracks "Because we'll be watching films and stuff, not sex."
More after the break
Above: the cute gay couple in one of the commercials that Amazon Prime is inserting in its tv shows now. Hey, don't we pay $100 for Prime anyway?
Scene 7: At the hotel, Hannah makes fun of a South Asian guy's name. Then they go over the schedule: Advances in Admin, Manageable Metrics, then lunch. Boring! Hannah suggests they skip it all and get a drink.
Cut to: finally, we're going to see the game! Dan gives Charlie a gift: a locket with their photos in it. Dude, he's straight! And if he was gay, too soon!
Uh-oh, Charlie's girlfriend shows up and kisses him. Dan seethes with jealousy.
Charlie: "I'd better get to the game. Wish me luck, Babe."
Dan and the girlfriend simultaneously: "Good luck!"
Then they compete over showing support, yelling and whooping so loudly that Charlie is distracted.
Scene 8: The ladies at the hotel bar, being served blue cocktails by Yurki: "They're on the house. I only do that for the beautiful people." Do I sense a three-way coming on? Boss Annette thinks he is just fishing for a tip, but Hannah points out his "raging boner." I didn't see one. Boss Annette still isn't into it: she's "Sworn off men."
Yurki is played by Martin Brody, which is also the name of the actor in Jaws, making him impossible to research. So here's the backside of Mark Quarty, who appears in another episode.
Meanwhile, because of Dan's distractions, one of the players broke his wrist, and there are no subs. They have to forfeit. Wait, Dan offers to go in. This won't end well.
It doesn't end well.
Scene 9: Yurki the Bartender's shift is over, so the ladies invite him up to their hotel room. While they are drinking, he tells them about his little brother back in Madeira, who has lupus. "Every week I send him money..." Uh-oh, he's a scammer. Actually, they begin the three-way. So what was the point of the story?
Left: Team captain played by Andy Dear, who plays wheelchair basketball in real life and has 10 acting credits on the IMDB.
Back at the game, Dan gives the other players a motivational speech. And -- he shoots the winning basket! Everyone cheers. Didn't see that coming. Dan is so excited that he jumps out of his wheelchair and starts dancing around. Lots of people who use wheelchairs can walk short distances without them, but Dan is dancing around the gym, jumping up and down, doing splits. Disgraced, he slinks out.
Scene 10: Back home, Hannah is horrified and disgusted by the homoerotic activity, and takes several showers. Boss Annette drops by to deliver the shoe she left in the hotel room, and tell her to keep things quiet: if anyone were to find out that she had sex with an employee, she'd be in trouble with Human Resources.
Suddenly Dan walks up to ask why Charlie is ghosting him. Really?
Wait -- walking? Boss Annette is outraged, but she can't fire Hannah because -- blackmail! The end.
Beefcake: None.
Left and below: Random guys who use wheelchairs
Gay Characters: I think Dan is heterosexual, just overwhelmingly needy in his pursuit of Charlie's friendship. In future episodes, he similarly pursues other guys, but "falls in love" and has sex with girls. Hannah is disgusted by her threeway, so it must be there for shock value. In future episodes, she has sex only with men.
My Grade: "Dan's so stupid, he doesn't realize that he sounds gay, har har." Heterosexual pretending to be gay is queerbaiting, and Charlie's response is borderline homophobic. Heather's response is totally homophobic, too. D
See also: The Other Two, Episode 3.8: The guy from AP Bio tries to bond with an especially jerky Cary. Plus Ben Platt butt
Going Dutch: Military sitcom with an Old Soldier, a gay tease, and a private's privates
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