Brandon Spink: The young Batman, Jackass, and Baelfire takes a girl to the prom but comes out later. Maybe. With two dick shots and a Super butt

Recently I profiled Mason McKenzie, who played Gideon in Once Upon a Time, where all of the Disney fantasy characters you've ever heard of are connected in a huge genealogy.  I thought I would research some of the other actors that gave me a gay vibe.  First up, femme boy Brandon Spink, who played Baelfire, son of Rumpelstiltskin and his first wife (making him Gideon's half-brother).  He is briefly swayed by the homoerotic freedom offered by Peter Pan's Lost Boys, but in the end accepts his heterosexual destiny and marries Emma Swan.  Their son becomes the Chosen One. 

Let's see if the same thing happened the real-life Brandon (center).

Spink, by the way, comes from an Old English word for "finch."  It's not dirty. 

According to an article in Oz Magazine, Brandon was born in 1995 in Marietta, Georgia, and began acting on stage at age seven, playing Captain Hook's life partner Smee in Peter Pan.  After minor parts in Game of Your Life (2011), with Nathan Kress, and Devil's Knot (2013), with Colin Firth, he hit the big time in 2015, playing the young version of the Jackass star  a tv pilot called Untitled Johnny Knoxville Project. 

The young Johnny is a prankster and rebel growing up in the "outlaw culture" of 1980s Knoxville, Tennessee. 

That same year, Brandon was cast as the young Bruce Wayne in Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016).  Playing the iconic figure was "a dream come true" for the boy.  Plus he got to work with Ben Affleck (grown-up Bruce), Henry Cavill (Superman), and Jeremy Irons (Alfred the Butler).

Next came Game of Silence (2016), with childhood secrets threatening a successful lawyer; the teenage Baelfire in Once Upon a Time (2017); Berlin Station (2017), about CIA agents in Germany; and a few show that I've never heard of.

Brandon's next big break was in Fear Street: Part Two (2021), the second in a trilogy about paranormal events in a small town in different historic periods.  In 1978, it's a summer camp with a serial killer.  Brandon's character, Will Goode, is the mayor of the town, with wife and kids, in Part 1 (1994).  As a teenager, he bullies the other teens and survives the slaughter.

There are lesbian characters in every Fear Street episode, but gay men do not exist.

In 2025 Brandon appeared in four episodes of the sports drama All American, as a random football player; and three episodes of NCIS: Origins, about the NCIS (Naval Criminal Investigation Service) in the 1990s, as the teenage version of agent Michael Franks (played by Michael Erik White, left).

Michael seems to be gay in real life, but the character is straight.  

In fact, all of Brandon's characters have been straight or straight-by-default. 

He'd better be gay in real life, or what am I doing this for?

More after the break

Survival of the Thickest: Mavis and her nemesis spar in Paris, Khalil and Luca "get closer," and who the heck is Lopez? With his dick and nude models.

I wasn't planning to review Survival of the Thickest, about a thick black woman finding body positivity as a fashion designer.  But Queerty said that it had gay representation, and one of the cast members, somebody with the last name Lopez (I didn't record the first name), appeared on the nude celebrity subreddit, so I figured I'd give it a shot. 

In Episode 3.4, "C'est la vie, Bitch," they visit Paris Fashion Week, while back in New York, Khalil and Luca "connect." They must be the gay couple, and there'll be shots of Paris. 

Khalil is played by Tone Bell, butt left.

Scene 1: Mavis and her friend on a tour bus, shouting "I'm a designer!"  They reach their destination, the Victoria Palace Hotel , but they're actually staying at the horrible hostel next door.

"It's got character," Mavis says, trying to look on the bright side. "It's got queef."  I think the word means a lady part fart.  It was used to insult Keefe on The Righteous Gemstones.  

"It smells like an 18th century pap smear."  A lot of lady part jokes.

She likes the doorknobs in the center, like a belly button, and asks the concierge if she can check his belly button.  He refuses.

Scene 2: Seven flights of stairs and a hallway bathroom, but there's a view of the Eiffel Tower from the window.  Of course -- on tv every Parisian hotel room looks out at the Eiffel Tower, even if  it's miles away and facing the wrong direction.   Mavis washes her breasts with a handi-wipe, while they discuss how far they've come in two years.

Whomp, someone farts.  Turns out that the ladies have a roommate sleeping under the covers in the top bunk.  

Scene 3: Luca (Marouane Zotti), the one who's going to connect with Khalil (hopefully by kissing), is counseling a refugee couple, assuring them that they'll get housing soon.  They also need a job.  "I promise that you'll..."

His coworker Donny Wang (Ronnie Chien) butts in to tell them that their chances are slim,  When they leave, he advises "Never promise anything.  Keep their expectations vague...."

In other news, a girl asked him to DJ at the strip club tonight.  

"Sorry. I have plans with friends," Luca tells him.

"Oh, I wasn't inviting you.  I was bragging about all the naked ladies I'm going to see."  Ugh, a character whose shtick is being hetero-horny.  

Scene 4: Mavis is giving a pep talk to her models, telling them to "eye fuck" everyone.  There are some androgynous and genderfuck types, and some plus-sized, like David Ventakapen (left).   They walk across a portico (with the Eiffel Tower in the background, of course) and get photographed.  Then Mavis is introduced to thunderous applause.   A journalist tells her that the genderfuck outfit has made her the Best New Renegade of Fashion Week, which comes with a Vogue cover.  And she's invited to the Vogue party tonight.  Wait -- she's the most renowned fashion designer in the world, but she's staying in a youth hostel?

Suddenly Mavis almost collapses in pain, but her friend tells her to dance it off.  Chekhov's Gun: This better be important.

And when are we getting to the Lopez guy?

Scene 5: They have time to kill before the Vogue party tonight, so we get a montage of the usual.  They want to take a boat tour, but the tour guide won' sell them tickets, even though the boat is only half full. And when they try to go to a restaurant, the waiter (Theo Pham) tellsl them that it's closed.  Racism plotline? About 10% of the French population has African ancestry, more in big cities.

They try a Senegalese restaurant in the Black neighborhood, Château Rouge in the 18th Arrondissement,  and are served immediately.   "I like Black Paris a little better than the rest of Paris," the Friend muses.

Khalil and Luca getting close after the break

Kelton Dumont's Hot/Hung Photos, Part 3: Birthday biceps, bare bums, bondage, rugger dicks, and Jacob Tremblay

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Joey Beni: Bodybuilder appears in five gay tv shows with multiple nude scenes, so he's obviously gay, right?

 

I don't usually have good luck with the guys depicted on the celebrity cock subreddit.  It seems like they either appeared in one movie 15 years ago and have no social media presence, or they are very famous in Lithuania but have no movies or tv shows available to stream in the U.S.  But I'll give Joey Beni a try because he has an Instagram page, 22 acting credits, and a 2025 interview in VoyageLA, which features "LA's most inspiring stories."

His bio comes from the interview: Joey was born in San Diego in 1994.  His first acting gig was playing Aladdin in the San Diego Children's Theater. Later he moved to Florida and then to Virginia Beach, where he attended Tidewater Community College.  In 2006 he decided to become an actor, which means moving to L.A., so he saved up his  money for two years and drove out: "I had no friends, no family, and no job in LA. I was able to lock in an apartment over the phone so all I had was an address, my life savings, and a dream."  

He studied comedy with the Groundlings and acting at the Archibald Studio, and started auditioninng. 

 Joey wonders why his friends are getting acting roles so easily, and he is so often left behind.  Maybe you need more nude photos?   He got one job because the guy they cast had to drop out, so they asked him to substitute at the last minute. He complains that acting is 90% luck, 10% talent.

Not too inspiring, buddy.  Actually, you sound a little bitter.  

After 18 years in the business, Joey has some industrial videos (The Benefits of Sunscreen, Sexual Harassment in the Workplace), some tv commercials, a drug prevention PSA, and a dating show, The Hook-Up.

That last show sounds promising, but it was actually heterosexual only.  Joey's episode features contestant Ray using social media to choose from between "four lovely ladies."  

Those 22 acting credits listed on the IMDB are mostly small roles, often unnamed characters:

Contestant #1 in Youthful Days (2014), starring Bryan James as a guy with two personalities.

Hot Guy #1 in an episode of Go-Go Boy Interrupted (2016): Jimmy Fowlie stars as a "go-go boy" who is approaching 30 and aging out of the business, with no other marketable skills. Being hung won't get you a job staring at a computer screen in a cubicle.  Gay actor Brian Jordan Alvarez, Scott Evans, and Nick Adams appear, and Lynne Marie Stewart of Pee-Wee's Playhouse, who I thought was a drag queen until recently, played Go-Go's Mom.

The Other Cowboy in Country Thunder (2017).

In M.F.A. (2017), an art student turned vigilante, targeting rapists got away with it, like former teen idol Michael Welch, Kyle Pettis (left), and Joey.

Wedding Photographer in a 2022 episode of Days of Our Lives.

Sexy Man in a 2022 episode of DemonHuntr, featuring two gay guys whose side hustle is paranormal investigation.  Apparently they don't investigate many nude ghosts; only Joey (top photo)  and Jason Caceres (left) give us frontals.

Man in Bondage #1 in Babylon (2023), which I found too disgusting to get through.

More after the break