Dakota Lotus: The Disney Channel's Coop sings, shows his pitts, brings on Christmas depression. With ice cream, Peltz tush, and Dakota dicks

 

I was searching for former Disney teencom stars to profile, and this guy popped up.  

A great name: Dakota Lotus.  

And a great physique -- you into pits, dude?

And obviously gay: his Instagram posts show him hugging, gazing at, dancing with, and asking to pitt-lick a boyfriend named Joaquin.

Wait -- that was just a tease.  The other 1,360 pics and reels show Dakota with a girl, hugging, kissing, frolicking in London, posing in formal wear, eating, celebrating Valentin'e's Day, and saying things like "I've never met anyone like you" and "you don't meet your soulmate by chance."

Ok, so he's straight.  But no doubt he's done a lot of gay and gay-subtext roles.  

Dakota was born in 2004 in Santa Barbara, where his mom Autum Lotus performed for the Cirque de Soleil.  He started classes at  the Adderly School for Performing Arts when he was only five years old, and appeared in an unspecified number of plays.  The only one mentioned in his bio is Peter Pan and Tinker Bell: A Pirate's Christmas at the Laguna Playhouse in 2019.

Dakota played John Darling, one of the young Darling kids, who gets to play pirates and sing.  Meanwhile Peter (Lincoln Clauss) is torn between girl-next-door Wendy and pixie-licious Tinker Bell.  

Lincoln Clauss is gay in real life, and played the nonbinary Evan on Batwoman.

Dakota's first on-screen acting job was in the Disney Channel's Coop & Cami Ask the World (2018-20): Dakota as Coop and Ruby Rose Turner as Cami host a show within a show, Would You Wrather?, in which fans get to solve their problems by voting on two options, or vote on what prank they should do (the wikipedia article is unclear).  

Their friend Fred (Albert Tsai), younger brother (Paxton Booth), and widowed Mom all have problems, too.  

Left: Paxton Booth.  I just liked the ice cream cone.

All of them are heterosexual, and get one or more boyfriends or girlfriends.  Cami's two boyfriends are played by heterosexual actors who fill their social media with pictures of their girlfriends and wives.  Actually, all of them do, except for Albert Tsai, now a Film & Media Studies major at Columbia University.

Dakota has also appeared in:

The music videos Stay (2019) and Lonely (2020), as singer Ana Dubec's boyfriend.

Ok, no gay connection there.

The short Moonshine (2021).  No synopsis is available, but it also stars David Kepner, best known as Wes in The Ladies.   And writer/director Joseph Wise is known for Virgins for Satan (a horny Christian girl wants to get laid) and D-Day for Denise (an elderly woman longs to reunite with her dead husband).

Definitely no gay connection there.

In the upcoming Thena, "a young musician spirals into addiction while her brother searches for her."  I went through the top five male cast members, and every one of them has a social media full of pictures of their wives and girlfriends.  Every single one.

Although Will Peltz has a gay romance (and shows his butt) in The Deleted.

More after the break

"Christmas on Repeat": A "Groundhog Day" romcom with Matthew Lawrence, Peter Pan, a bodybuilder, and some BBCs

 

After successfully finding a gay romance tucked into the final scene of Falling for Christmas, I decided to check out some other recent Christmas movies to see if a gay character snuck in under the noses of the homophobes.  First up,  Christmas on Repeat, because it features one of those day-keeps-repeating plotlines, and Matthew Lawrence (sigh), one of the trio of muscle-hunk brothers who brightened the 2000s.  

Scene 1: Andrea has fallen asleep at the office again, because she's a workaholic, but not to worry, her assistant got presents for her husband and kids, and arranged for bonuses for the office staff.  On her way out, her boss, Nick (Matthew Lawrence, sigh) stops her: they have to shoot a commercial tomorrow, and the guy in charge of the account is taking Christmas off, so... No fair!  Why don't you do it?

She calls her husband, John (Gary Poux), to say she's on the way home.  He is upset, because that means she will want to cook breakfast, and she's an awful cook.  Wait, how is she going to fall in love with Nick?  Maybe she's just the conduit, and Nick will be the one who falls in love.

Also, the "not being home for Christmas" thing, which he has heard before.

Scene 2: She stops to buy some groceries -- the supermarket parking lot is empty on Christmas Eve?  And the donation-collecting Santa Claus knows her name.  Creepy.  He points out that there will be a shooting star tomorrow night with "off the charts" magic.

Scene 3: At home, she greets her teenage children. Lexi, who looks like a 30-year old supermodel, has a new dance routine -- this is depressing, as Andrea and her husband used to dance, before she got too busy. 

And Matt (JJ Whyte) decided not to stay overnight with his friend Ryder.  Tell me more about your "friend," dude.

Back story: Lexi is from Andrea's first marriage, Matt from this one.  I guess they want to explain why Lexi is so melanin-deprived.  Or they could have found a 30-year old African-American supermodel.

Scene 4: Andrea works on her laptop until late, and goes to bed after Hubbie is already asleep.  Don't worry, I won't say anything about the BBC she's missing out on.

Scene 5: Here are the things she does wrong on Christmas day:

1. She doesn't recognize her son Matt's friends

2. She is unaware that he has stopped being interested in basketball

3. She tries to make pancakes, but sets the kitchen on fire.  Not being able to cook is apparently a major sin in this world.  Maybe this movie is pushing the nuclear family myth, where Dad works and Mom stays home to cook. 

4. She doesn't stop the "Clean, Green, and Prestine" actress and director Paul (Terry Woodberry) from sniping and quitting.  

Director Paul yells at the actress, she quits, and then he quits.  And gets heterosexualized by mentioning his wife.  Darn.  

But at least we have another BBC, after the break