Alex Sampson: How does a 22-year old singer/bodybulder bring back West Hollywood memories?. With modern singer cocks

 

Someone named Alex Sampson appeared on the teen idol site with a dozen flexing muscle photos.

Whoa.

I need a hero -- I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night
He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be hung
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight

--"Holding Out for a Hero" (1984)

Sampson or Samson is a traditional name for a muscleman.

I'm living in the forest of my dream
I know the night is not the way it seems. I must believe in something, so I'll make myself believe that this night will never go

-- "Self Control" (1984)

So who is Alex Sampson?  His tattoo says "The True North, strong and free," so he's Canadian. 

There's nothin' left to talk about
Unless it's horizontally:

Let's get physical, physical

Let me hear your body talk.

-- "Physical" (1981)

And gay, or at least open to gay fans.  An Instagram follower says, "No shirtless gym pics!"  Alex responds, "There are people here, Dave."  

People, not women.  He's aware that gay men are looking at his muscles. 

They say they have to see his real personality
That's alright for them, but  it ain't enough for me
I need what the eyes can see: his anatomy.

I want muscles.

-- "Muscles" (1982)

We've established that you've got muscles, you're Canadian, you heart Korea, and you're gay or gay-positive.  Have you done anything else, like..acting?

Whoops, he's just a singer.  I don't usually profile singers, since I don't listen to music much -- it's too distracting for background noise while doing anything else, except maybe housework and the treadmill at the gym, and then I listen to the songs that were popular during my years in the gay mecca, West Hollywood.  

But how can profiling a guy born in 2004 bring back memories of the 1980s?

Alex was born on January 20th, 2004, in Atikokan, northwestern Ontario, the "canoe capital of Canada."  Very isolated, 2 1/2 hours from Thunder Bay. 

People always told me, 

Be careful what you do, 

Don't go around breakin' young men's hearts.
And Mama always told me,

Be careful who you love,

Be careful who you love...
-- "Billie Jean" (1983)

He knew that he wanted to become a singer from elementary school, when he sang "Gold" by Owl City at a talent show. 

Never heard of them, but the lead singer is Adam Young, left (if it's the right one).  

Maybe he sings off key, but that's alright with me.
'Cause what he does, he does so well,
Makes me wanna yell,
Let's hear it for the boy

-- "Let's Hear it for the Boy" (1984)

He began posting covers on TikTok, and released his first original song in 2019. Several others followed.  In 2023 he signed on with Warner Records, and released several singles.  He was named one of People Magazine's Emerging Artists of the year.

More after the break

Leon Mallett:Checking the East Anglia Boy's impressive j/o photos first, researching his potential gayness and celebrity status later

 

I don't usually start researching based on some  adult videos, but this guy has it all: cute face, nice physique, huge cock, in a series of very clear photos posted on several nude celebrity sites.  I'm just worried that he's not an actor, so I won't be able to profile him.

So I'll check the IMDB last.  First up: his social media, to see if he's gay. 

Tagline: Singer/Songwriter.  He could be an actor, too.  I'm continuing the research.

An East Anglia boy, from Norwich, about 2 1/2 hours east of London.  

Lots of beefcake shots and guy-hugging photos, no girl-hugging -- a good sign.

Wait -- in one photo, he's grabbing the "big couple of palavas" on Katie Price.  An interest in palavas is generally a sign of  male heterosexual identity.

But Katie Price is an actress, model, and public figure who performs at a lot of Pride events, and came out as a lesbian in 2025.  Maybe he's just being playful.

But Leon's sweater says "Alright, my darlin'?"  That's something you would say to a girl.

Ok, I'm ready to check the shirt-lifter's IMDB profile.

Leon Mallett, aka Leon James, was born in 1995 in East Anglia.  In 2014, he auditioned for The X Factor, the British talent showcase, as a member of the boy band Fifth Street, but didn't make it.

He and his brother Alex auditioned as a duo in 2017.  Alex was cut during Boot Camp (the first challenge), but Leon made it through the Six Chair Challenge, Judges' Houses, Week 1, and Week 2, whereupon he was eliminated. 

He returned as a special guest on The X-Factor: Celebrity (2019).

And he appeared as himself in the documentary When Celebrity Goes Horribly Wrong 2 (2020), about celebrity fails: Calum Best accused of sexual assault; Nick Ferrari making racist comments; Chloe Goodman in  a feud with her sister.

No information on what Leon's scandal was. 

I'll get to the j/o photos in a moment.  Next, checking his songs for gay hints.

In "East Anglia Boy" (2014), Leon praises his home province: the sights, the food, the shopping.  He meets a girl who likes his accent, but not his clothes. Sounds heterosexist. But it's a  parody "American Boy" by Estelle, where she meets a boy, so he would have to meet a girl.

"One Girl in a Million" (2014) sounds extremely heterosexist, but it was actually written by Leon's father.  Leon found it in the attic after his death, and recorded it as a tribute.

More after the break.  Caution: Explicit.

Jack Barlow: "Real Housewives" teen, Mormon missionary, hair-care guru, gay tease. With nude and bondage photos

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Johnny Karn: Lost virginity, pretentious straightness, psycho-slashers, and the most incredible penis you've ever seen

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"You're the Worst," Episode 5.6: Is Jimmy hooking up with his buddy? Is Rapper Sam still bi? Is Dax a gay porn star?

 

Recently American comedies have been breaking the longstanding rule that sitcom characters have to be nice, the sort of people you'd want to invite into your home in real life.  Of course, the British have been doing it for years, but in the U.S. it's so uncommon that it still comes as a jolt to see someone who isn't very likeable in a sitcom.

You're the Worst, on Hulu, warns you in advance. Jimmy and Gretchen (Chris Geere, Aya Cash) are horrible, amoral people who dislike each other (well, except in the bedroom) and pursue a five-season long romance culminating in a series-finale wedding.  The B-plots usually involve the marital squabbles of another amoral couple who dislike each other, Edgar and Lindsay (Desmin Borges, Kether Donohue).  

I already reviewed an episode where rapper Sam Dresden  gets cancelled for using the f*-word, but turns out to be ok with gay men -- they're good at sucking.  To see if he is still bisexual or straight-but-open-to-oral interests, I reviewed Episode 5.6,  "This Brief Fermata."  According to the Google AI, "A fermata is a musical symbol indicating that a note should be held longer than its normal duration."

Scene 1: Jimmy and Gretchen are planning the table seating for their wedding reception, but Paul, Allan McLeod, is too boring to be placed.  They deserve a break from the drudgery of planning the wedding.  Jimmy suggests Fuck Week, a week where they can have sex with whoever they want.  He is surprised that Gretchen is so quick to agree.  

Scene 2: Monday.  At her job at the public relations firm, Gretchen checks out the hunk bulges and butts.  Assistant Lindsay notes a problem with Rapper Sam, Brandon Mychal Smith: his new track is bad, "Vietnam bad."  

But Gretchen doesn't care: it's Fuck Week, so she and Lindsay can go "day dicking" like they used to, at the Museum of Tolerance and Barney's Beanery -- wait, the notorious "Fagots keep out" joint?

First she has to sign up the new guy, Nok Nok -- Lou Taylor Pucci, top photo.  She figures he's so spaced-out, he'll be easy to snare, but he wants to hear the full pitch -- "Strategy, targets, concept art."  Uh-oh, she'll have to do work instead of getting dick.

Scene 3: Tuesday: Gretchen and Jimmy eat Chinese food while watching Nok Nok's videos and trying to come up with a pitch.  Jimmy has lipstick on his collar -- he's already successfully gotten laid.  Wait -- Buddy Edgar brings him a drink and gazes lustfully, but Jimmy shakes his head. Did they have sex, or is Edgar offering?

Cut to Wednesday: Gretchen revealing her pitch to Nok Nok.  He doesn't like it: how about a hard-scrabble life?  He was on the street at age 15, and he's a single dad?  

Assistant Lindsay went out dicking yesterday, and she, too successfully got laid. By the way, Rapper Sam is angry because his new, terrible track hasn't seen any radio play yet.  But screw it: Gretchen is going to forget about work and get some dick.

Scene 4: Thursday.  Jimmy comes in with a hickey, having gotten laid again. Another lustful gaze from Buddy Edgar.  Are they going at it?  Gretchen is still working. 

More after the break. Caution: Explicit

A Discovery of Witches: Some lesbians, a gay tease, a very important book, and Matthew Goode's goods

 

On to the next of the new paranormal tv series on Netflix, A Discovery of Witches.  

But it's nowhere near Halloween.

Prologue: "It begins with absence and desire.  It begins with blood and fear,  It begins with..." Coffee and bagels?  No, "a discovery of witches."

Scene 1: Nice establishing shots of Oxford.  Matthew (Matthew Goode) complains that this was once a world of wonder, but it belongs to the humans now. Demons, vampires, and witches have all gone into the closet.

Cut to a blonde woman rowing in the Thames, then running through the university, taking a shower -- gratuitous nudity, at Minute 2, no fair! --  eating breakfast, packing up her stuff, and pausing to gaze despondently at a photograph of her and her boyfriend.  Actually, the lady in the photo seems a year or two older, so maybe it's her lookalike sister or mother.  Looking at her makes Rowing Lady extremely depressed, so she must be dead.

Biking across town, locking up her bike -- whoops, her papers fall out and scatter, but she uses her magic powers to retrieve them. Fortunately, no one sees her.

Scene 2: Rowing Lady, Diane, is a Visiting Research Fellow who took her D.Phil. in the History of Science from Oxford, published two prize-winning books, and got tenure at Yale.  In the History of Science? 

In her powerpoint presentation, she theorizes that the Renaissance alchemists were actually describing real chemical processes.  She's going to research the manuscripts of Elias Ashmole , after whom they named the Ashmolean Library. A lady rushes up and offers her a position at Oxford, and wants to know if her book is ready yet.  She hasn't started the research yet, nitwit. 

Scene 4:  Diane has coffee with an old friend from Oxford, who gazes at her -- ex-girlfriend?  She was trained in classical history, where there are no jobs, so she's just an adjunct.  And there are jobs in the history of science? 

The friend invites her to the coven tonight, but Diane isn't comfortable around magic after what happened to her parents.  Witch burning?

Scene 5: In another building, a guy -- maybe Matthew?  -- is praying with his rosary.  Um -- Oxford is Anglican.

Left: Matthew's butt.  

And his cock.  It's not much, but he's an upper-class straight white man, so he'll be in a position of power regardless.

Cut to Diane in the Ashmolean Library, ordering books from the hunky library guy, played by Ezra Idun.  But the book whispers at her, and some pages have been cut out.   And the Praying Guy hears a heart beat!  In other news, her needy friend drops by to flirt with her some more.

As Diane types her notes, the lights flash and everybody hears the whispering.  Praying Guy gets a call from a woman, who explains that their blood is reacting to something.  They must be vampires.  Catholic vampires who go out in the daytime.  He uses his super-hearing to locate the disturbance

Meanwhile, Diane finds that touching the pages burns her!  She returns the book and rushes out of the building, bumping into a passerby who looks like her dad! Praying Guy is watching her suspiciously.

More after the break