On to the next of the new paranormal tv series on Netflix, A Discovery of Witches.
Prologue: "It begins with absence and desire. It begins with blood and fear, It begins with..." Coffee and bagels? No, "a discovery of witches."
Scene 1: Nice establishing shots of Oxford. Matthew (Matthew Goode) complains that this was once a world of wonder, but it belongs to the humans now. Demons, vampires, and witches have all gone into the closet.
Cut to a blonde woman rowing in the Thames, then running through the university, taking a shower -- gratuitous nudity, at Minute 2, no fair! -- eating breakfast, packing up her stuff, and pausing to gaze despondently at a photograph of her and her boyfriend. Actually, the lady in the photo seems a year or two older, so maybe it's her lookalike sister or mother. Looking at her makes Rowing Lady extremely depressed, so she must be dead.
Biking across town, locking up her bike -- whoops, her papers fall out and scatter, but she uses her magic powers to retrieve them. Fortunately, no one sees her.
Scene 2: Rowing Lady, Diane, is a Visiting Research Fellow who took her D.Phil. in the History of Science from Oxford, published two prize-winning books, and got tenure at Yale. In the History of Science?
In her powerpoint presentation, she theorizes that the Renaissance alchemists were actually describing real chemical processes. She's going to research the manuscripts of Elias Ashmole , after whom they named the Ashmolean Library. A lady rushes up and offers her a position at Oxford, and wants to know if her book is ready yet. She hasn't started the research yet, nitwit.
Scene 4: Diane has coffee with an old friend from Oxford, who gazes at her -- ex-girlfriend? She was trained in classical history, where there are no jobs, so she's just an adjunct. And there are jobs in the history of science?
The friend invites her to the coven tonight, but Diane isn't comfortable around magic after what happened to her parents. Witch burning?
Scene 5: In another building, a guy -- maybe Matthew? -- is praying with his rosary. Um -- Oxford is Anglican.
Left: Matthew's butt.
And his cock. It's not much, but he's an upper-class straight white man, so he'll be in a position of power regardless.
Cut to Diane in the Ashmolean Library, ordering books from the hunky library guy, played by Ezra Idun. But the book whispers at her, and some pages have been cut out. And the Praying Guy hears a heart beat! In other news, her needy friend drops by to flirt with her some more.
As Diane types her notes, the lights flash and everybody hears the whispering. Praying Guy gets a call from a woman, who explains that their blood is reacting to something. They must be vampires. Catholic vampires who go out in the daytime. He uses his super-hearing to locate the disturbance
Meanwhile, Diane finds that touching the pages burns her! She returns the book and rushes out of the building, bumping into a passerby who looks like her dad! Praying Guy is watching her suspiciously.
More after the break
