Brian Cage and Lance Hoyt, the "Disclosure Day" demi-gods: Which has nude photos? Which is gay? WIth Riddle rising and Oberst pretending

Disclosure Day (2026), about aliens finally announcing their presence to the world (after hanging around since the Roswell Crash of 1947), offers beefcake only in the first scene.  Danny (Josh O'Connor) stole tapes demonstrating the aliens' presence, and Boss Hogg of the Evil Corporation kidnapped his girlfriend to get them back.  They want to make the trade at a wrestling match.  

I haven't posted a profile of a muscleman for a long time, so I thought I would research the wrestlers, Brian Cage (blue) and Lance Hoyt (red).

Brian Cage, civilian name Brian Button, works for Lucha Underground and Impact Wrestling. Sometimes he performs as Mortis as an homage to his friend Chris Kanyon, who created the character.  As a bodybuilder, he won the 2026 Mr. Nevada competition.

 Other than wrestling shows, he has appeared in:

A fan film, The Fall of Greyskull  (2015), playing He-Man.

The Bloody Man (2020), about a boy who accidentally summons a monster.  Brian plays "Barbarian Man."

And Kill City Cup (2023): A sort of cage-fighting Hunger Games.  He plays a wrestler. 

Brian's Instagram consists almost entirely of selfies, photos from his wrestling and bodybuilding performances, and ladies with big breasts. I got the distinct impression that he is straight.   

Yep, the pro wrestling website tells us that he is married to Melissa Santos, a ring announcer and television personality who works with him in the Lucha Underground.

But at least we have a nude photo.

Or two.

More after the break

Callan Farris: The Unsittable Jeremy drops in on Disney teencoms, kisses boys, learns about gigantic penises on the darkweb

 

This photo on the teen idol site drew my interest. Dude is either gay or pretending. 

His social media offers more photos of the two guys kissing him, plus standard buddies hugging, and no icky girls.  Here he poses with "I keep my private life a secret, but I'm dating a dude" Pedro Pascal. 

He's Callan Farris,  best known for the Disney Channel teencom Gabby Duran and the Unsittables (2019-21).  13 year old Gabby soon learns that her charges are "unsittable" because they are alien children hiding out as humans. 

Callan plays Jeremy, a shapeless blob who is next in line for the throne of Gor-Monia, on Earth to hide from would-be assassins.  Most of his plots involve misunderstanding human customs, or having his alien powers accidentally cause disasters.  

The episode synopses and fan wikis don't mention any heterosexual interests. But Jeremy considers Gabby's friend Wesley (Maxwell Acee Donovan, "The Human Erection" on That 90s Show), his "sister" (he doesn't quite understand gendered nouns).  And he is "fond of" Julius (Kheon Clarke), a waiter at the teen hangout.  Sounds like a lot of gay subtext going on.

Callan was born in Los Angeles in 2007.  No other information about his childhood is available, but from his last name ("warrior" in Arabic) and some of his early roles -- Syrian Boy, Kadir Siddiqui, Rafi Elshami -- I'm guessing that he's Arab-American. He started his career in commercials, and moved into television playing "Very Sweet Kid" on a 2016 episode of Dr. Ken.

On the IMDB, Callan lists his "most famous" works as Gabby; Kings (2017), about a family in South Central during the 1990s L.A. riots; a 2018 episode of Grey's Anatomy where Jackson (Jesse Williams, left) treats a boy with cancerous tumors on his scapulae (shoulder blades); and the preschooler series Rocketeer (2019-20)

More after the break

Evan Jachelski: Rooster Spooner, angel, pizza boy, jock with a cock. Plus Andrew Santino and some Polish bulges

 In the season finale of Rooster, acerbic college writer-in-residence Greg  (Steve Carell) tells his students about the movie It's a Wonderful Life (1946), where Clarence the Angel convinces a down-and-out dude not to off himself.  They're confused by the line: "Every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings."  What if you're in an arcade, with bells ringing all the time?  You'd have a surplus of angels.

The guys decide to make some wings to wear at Greg's end-of-semester party.  Spooner shows off his while shirtless.  Hot twink physique with some delt and bicep development.

Spooner has been basically a background player, a member of gay-subtext Tommy's friend group with a salacious name.  His scenes consist mostly of buddy-bonding with George or J.D. But that unexpected shirtless shot was stunning, in a series that has been skimpy with beefcake, so I wanted to do a profile of actor  Evan Jachelski.

Evan was born in September 2003, and grew up in Hanover, Pennsylvania, a rural community about an hour north of Baltimore.  He is close enough to his Polish heritage to know some slang terms: badooshk, asshole; kutas, cock; chuj, cock; palka, big cock.

Apparently he needs to describe his cock quite often.  

He attended South West High School, where he played football, and trained with the Baltimore Improv Group. 

He graduated in 2022, and moved to Los Angeles to become an actor, starting with commercials for Peloton exercise equipment (playing a buffed sufer) and Reebok shoes. 

In a 2023 episode of Dave: the mild-mannered wannabe rapper (Dave Burd) returns to Philadelphia to look up the childhood Girl of His Dreams, who stuck him in the friend zone.  He's homophobic, referring to the jock who won her as a c*cksucker, but also into guys, at least according to some photos that show him rimming.  

Evan played "Matt's Replacement," presumably someone who took over for Dave's roommate / manager, Matt (Andrew Santino, left). But I couldn't find him in the episode.  Maybe he wasn't blond.

For a more serious artistic turn, Evan starred in The Red Market (2024), a short that made the film festival circuit and won some awards.  Drowning in debt, Zephyr (Evan) contacts a secret organization to sell his body parts. 

Gay actor Ramiro Leal plays the mad doctor, and Maddox Anaya (gay) and Ryan Rathburn (unknown, left) play shirtless hunks.  Actually, from what I can tell from the teaser, it's all shirtless hunks. 

More after the break

Andrew Santino: "Aren't gay guys hilarious? But have you heard what they do in bed?"

Today I started a review of Royal Crackers, an animated series on MAX about a family running a cracker empire.  As usual, I checked to see if any of the actors have beefcake photos or are gay.

Andrew Santino, who plays the washed-up rock star son: About a dozen beefcake photos.

Including a group rear.  Notice that the guy on the left has a cock hanging down.

And a frontal with a sock.

Gay: he's on a list of gay male celebrities, but there are also clips saying "Andrew responds to gay rumors," "I'm not gay no more," "Andrew finds out that he's gay,"  "Andrew's gay lover," "Andrew fails the gay test."

Well, which is it?  Is he gay, ex-gay, straight, bi, pan, straight but pretending to be gay as a joke?

Who is this guy, anyway?'

He appears in Game Over, Man and Adam Devine's House Party, and later interviews Adam on the Whiskey Ginger podcast: "What was your worst review?"

Adam: "I don't really get bad reviews, but sometimes they devote three paragraphs to my dick and only two lines to my acting."

More Andrew after the break. No more Adam, though.