Male nudity, gay romance, and queer codes in movies and television, especially "The Righteous Gemstones"
Jason Marsden: Second hottest of the Short Guy Brigade, Steve Smith, Max Goof, and Robin. With Marsden dicks
Gemstones Episode 4.2, Continued: Pontius' private parts, Gideon's butt buddy, and JR's junk. Plus Karen from "Will and Grace" sings
Previous: Gemstones Episode 4.2: Baby Billy's dong, BJ's pole, Kelvin's pipe, and the Clobber Verses.
In Part 1, the conflicts of the seasons were introduced: Eli is looking for meaning, BJ for independence, and Keefe for a wedding ring. Next up: Jesse and his Cain-and-Abel sons, Pontius and Gideon.
Pontius' Private Parts: Jesse taping a commercial for his new line of Prayer Pods, like privacy pods except that inside you can pray, play Bible Bonkers, listen to a sermon, and so on. He forces the entire family into one. It's a tight fit: Pontius, sitting on his lap, deliberately farts in his face.
In the dressing room, we get some back story: Pontius (top photo and left) got kicked out of the Citadel for low grades, and because he was posting videos of his buddies sticking firecrackers up each other's butts.
Gideon's Butt Buddy: Jesse can't communicate with his father Eli, but Gideon has no trouble: "I call Granddad, or he calls me."
This enrages Jesse, who calls them "butt buddies." Amber points out that the phrase actually refers to "sodomy," so he backs down: "I didn't mean it like that. I'm not trying to say that he's trying to f*k Daddy in the ass." Of course not, Gideon is a bottom.
This is a continuation of the Eli-Gideon relationship from Season 3, so it shouldn't come as a surprise. I'm wondering, however, if Gideon is ever going to have a relationship with anyone outside the family. His last friend or boyfriend was Scotty, who died at the end of Season 1. Your Granddad has overcome his grief and moved on, Gide Baby; maybe you should, too.
Abraham's got nothing: Poor Gavin; his last plot arc was in Season 2, and it was about masturbation. Looks like he's got nothing here, either; after the Prayer Pod commercial, he sits by himself and plays on his cell phone, just entering the conversation to laugh that his Dad is "butthurt" over Gideon's relationship with Eli.
Karen arrives: The siblings are getting jetpack training from J.R. Rodriguez (good idea), when it's time for the friend or relative from Eli's past to arrive and shake things up: Baby Billy in Season 1; Junior in Season 2; May-May in Season 3; and now "Mama's bestie," Lori , played by Megan Mullaly, Karen on Will and Grace.
More after the break. Caution: Explicit
Ryan Pinkston: Hottest of the Short Guy Brigade, martial artist, gigolo, gay cop. With some costar dicks
I've never been interested in tall guys; I like them short, the shorter the better, and in the 2000s, the 5'4" Ryan Pinkston was one of the hottest of the Short Guy Brigade
Born in Silver Spring, Maryland, a suburb of Washington DC, Ryan got his start in martial arts: he received his black belt in Wushu Kung Fu at age nine and went on to championships in karate, kung fu, and tae kwan do.
An interview on the Jenny Jones talk show landed him an agent, and within a month he had roles in Spy Kids: 3D (2003) and Bad Santa (2003), and he was helping Austin Kutcher play celebrity pranks on Punked.
But there was a problem. Although handsome, muscular -- and short -- Ryan was typecast as an aggressive wise guy, basically a jerk. So that's the sort of role he received
In 2004, the 16-year old got his own tv series, Quintuplets, about teenage quintuplets with conflicting personalities. His Patton was pushy and aggressive; brother Parker (Jake McDorman, left) was the athlete, and Pearce (Johnny K. Lewis, below) was the nerd, who actually danced with another boy in a "prom" episode.
Left: Johnny K. Lewis today
But then he hit the bottom of the barrel: teen sex comedies. Foreign Exchange (2008), Extreme Movie (2008) with Frankie Muniz, Adventures in Online Dating (2009).
But then, in 2010, something remarkable happened: a complete turnaround. Ryan's characters changed from jerks to nice guys, and coincidentally some buddy-bonding was added to the girl-crazy schtick.
Tower Prep (2010), about a school for kids with paranormal powers: his Gabe has a crush on Ian Archer (Drew Van Acker).
Cougars, Inc. (2011): his Jimmy and best friend Sam (Kyle Gallner) can't afford college tuition, so start an escort service pairing older women with teenage boys. Hey, is that legal? Of course, they get in on the action, too. We get a nice shot of Ryan's butt as the camera lingers on his supine body, but this only nudity in any movie.
Kelvin/Keefe Memes: Cooking, testifying, honeymooning, sinking. With Jack from "Will and Grace" and some random nude dudes
I've had nothing but trouble with these memes -- jokes -- featuring Kelvin and Keefe of The Righteous Gemstones and friends. First the G-rated version got slapped behind a "sensitive content" barrier, and then I accidentally saved the G-rated on the explicit site, and had to reconstruct everything.
Kelvin: You always have the best ideas for Date Night.
More memes after the break
Mark Harelik: You've seen his physique a hundred times. Now's your chance to see his dick.
You might not know his name, but you've seen Mark Harelik's macho "former high school letterman" physique on tv a hundred times.
On Cheers as Reed Manchester, the gay guy who Diane pretends to be married to.
On Wings as Helen's boyfriend, who she didn't bother to break up with before marrying Joe.
On Seinfeld as Milos, who Jerry threatens to out as a terrible tennis player. Milos offers to set him up with an attractive woman to buy his silence, but she turns out to be his wife.
As Jedidah Lawrence, on Boy Meets World, who lies to his daughter Topanga about the reason he left his wife.
As Jeff, Single Guy Jonathan Silverman's neighbor who takes him in while his apartment is being repaired. He is in a relationship with Mike (Michael Winters)
As Tim, Jack's boss who keeps making passes at him, on Will and Grace.
As Dr. Eric Gablehauser, the pop-star head of the physics department on The Big Bang Theory
As Joe, buddy of Grace and Frankie's Lily Tomlin and her gay ex-husband, Sam Waterston.
As God in The Preacher, which also starred Dominic Cooper.
Mark's dick after the break