A "new" adult animated tv series, Take My Muffin, popped up on Amazon. It stars Michael Doherty, "just your average controversial gay twunk and comedian," so I'm hoping there's some queer content. Episode 1: "Hallucinogenic Buggers, The Internet 2.0, The Waternet."
Scene 1: A highway on a dark rainy night. A naked anthropomorphic unicorn (Dane McMichael) trudges. Notice the multicolored penis. Drivers yell at him. A truck zooms up and...
He awakens in a hospital bed. Rok (Michael Doherty), a three-eyed cat, introduces himself as a "hot nurse" and wants a sample. He doesn't remember how he got there, so Rock pulls up a Deathwatch podcast with his accident. He's "hung like a unicorn," but has no identification, so they don't know who he is. Ergo the sample for a DNA test.
Scene 2: Uh-oh, two baddies are destroying the hallway, looking for "that queef-sniffing unicorn," so Rokk helps him escape by shoving a thermometer up the butt of a patient (to resemble a unicorn horn) and pushing them out the window. They zoom off in an ambulance, with the bad guys following and shooting. They trick them into zooming onto a barge in the river, and drive off.
Left: A random dick.
Scene 3: Rok brings the Unicorn to his place to hide out, and maybe get his memory back. You're being awfully nice to him. Are you into unicorn horns?
He introduces his housemates:
Finance Lawyer Draka, a red-haired female demon, yelling because the bank closed their account.
Security guard Mojo, a giant potato getting high on a pink gas.
Office admin support bot, UD (stands for Unending Depression)
Design engineer Dr. Noper, a green being with two horns.
And they'll call the unicorn Korny until he remembers his real name.
Actually, Rok is just a volunteer nurse, like a Candy Striper. He and his crew are staring a new NPO, and they're meeting with the potential investors in one minute. Ulp, with all escaping-from-bad-guys drama, he forgot to prepare a presentation.
More after the break
Leprechaun: "Your glibly-scribbled gibberish is dead in the water."
Upon hearing "dead in the water," Korny thinks of something, and his horn starts to glow and chime. He jumps up from his wheelchair, displaying his penis to the investors, and exclaims "Water!"
Water is spread all over the world, like a single wi-fi network, and has a binary nature, made of hydrogen and oxygen atoms. We can create the Internet 2.0 from water.
"Ok, we'll discuss pre-seed investments at our next meeting. Bring a KPI (Key Performance Indicators) report.
Scene 5: Rokk invites Korney to join their start-up. He's not interested: he still needs to remember who he is, and why goons were after him.
Left: Dane McMichael.
"You just need a little rest, buddy. And some clothes."
Cut to Rokk invading a clothing donation bin to get Korny pants and a sweater with a unicorn on it.
Next, muffins and Dr. Noper's signature cocktail, which serves itself into glasses. Korny immediately passes out.
While he is passed out, Rokk gets his sample: some iridescent buggers (that's how they're spelled in the subtitles).
"Forget the Internet 2.0. Growing magic buggers in a unicorn's nose is more profitable." So he was just pretending to want to help Korny. I'm disappointed.
They put the buggers on the muffins and eat them, thereby getting high.
Meanwhile, in his psychedelic trip, Korny is being chased by a monster composed of the housemates.
He awakens to find the goons beating up Rokk. Everyone else is tied up.
"What did you do to them?" Korny asks.
"Nothing. But it looks like you druggy perverts had fun last night." So Korny participated in the bondage scenes?
They plan to take Korny and kill the others, but for his last wish, Rokk wans to see Finance Lawyer Draka's tits. But when they go for her breasts, she is so angry that she starts the smoke detector, which awakens Potato. He comes out with a machine gun, and shoots the wall around the goons, so it collapses onto them, killing them.
"If that was your plan, Korny says, "It was your worst plan."
Scene 6: Korny wants answers, so Rok explains: They wanted to grow magical buggers using the unique microflora of a unicorn. The goons funded the whole thing. But they couldn't find a unicorn to agree to it. Then last night, he saw a report about a unicorn getting into an accident, and rushed to the hospital to get a sample.
"I didn't want to hurt you -- you weren't even supposed to notice. But now I feel responsible, and want to help you." He suggests deep memory pills that they tried developing, but turned out t obe too expensive to market. If they could sell som eo fhis magical boogers, they'd have enough to run a trial...
Scene 7: Korny agrees tto let them harvest his nose -- just once.
Cut to Rok selling the magic buggers to some new goons. Then he goes to Dr. Noper's room. "I need the pill lthat restores memory. All the necessary ingredients are here."
I thought he was deceiving Korny again, but Dr. Noner does emerge with a pill.
Scene 8: Korny takes the pill. He's a child, running through a palace, crying. He tells his daddy that he was touching his horn and it started to glow. "Am I going to die?"
"No, you're growing up."
But it's just a memory flash. He needs more pills, but they're out of money, and he can't grow any more magical unicorn boogers. How about joining the team? The end.
Beefcake: We see a lot of Corny's unicorn penis.
Gay Characters: I can't tell. Rok introducing himself as a "hot nurse" sounds like he's flirting with Korny, but then he asks to see Draka's tits...but maybe it was just a plan. I'm disappointed that he wanted to use Korny for his magical buggers, but maybe the two will bond later.
Gross-Out Humor: The buggers, of course. There's a suicide and an attempted suicide.
New: I forgot that Amazon lies about "new" to get you to click on ancient properties and watch the commercials. This is from 2022, but the showrunner says that they have two more seasons that never aired ready to go, if Amazon is interested.
Doherty: I'm not sure that Rokk is played by the "gay twunk" Michael Doherty. The one who plays Rok has only three other acting credits, all shorts with no gay content.
Left: Doherty butt.
I couldn't find any other nude photos of the cast, although there are apparently two Richard Orlows, one a male actor, the other a female porn star. This is who I get when I search on "Richard Orlow male man guy penis -lady -woman -girl -female -feminine -breasts."
See also: Solar Opposites Episode 4.9: Skyler Gisondo plays a muscular bat-alien with a human boyfriend, plus Thomas Middleditch penis. This is the buddy-bonding I expected.
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