"Take My Muffin": A manipulative three-eyed cat befriends an amnesiac unicorn. With some dicks and a controversial gay twunk
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Researching Brothers Neo and Swan, French youtube, comic book, and tv stars. With celebrity scandal, a gay kid, and nude dudes from Les Eyzies
Today it's French.
In case you're keeping track, I was an English and Modern Languages major, so I studied Spanish, French, German, Latin, and a little Greek and Russian. French is my favorite language, maybe because there is so much queer content in the bandes dessinées: Tintin and Captain Haddock, Alix and Enak, Corentin and Kim, Spirou and Fantasio.
So when Néo the One, a 21-year old gars from Bordeaux, popped up on my recommendations, I started research even though I never heard of him. Turns out that he's got 778,000 Instagram followers.
Néo the One posts mostly beefcake and family photos. Here he's doing sit-ups in the snow, in three different pairs of pants.
But being exceptionally hot is not enough to get 778,000 followers. He must be famous for something else.
Néo's younger brother, Swan the Voice, age 15, has 668,000 Instagram followers. They also have a Sweo Shop where you can buy clothing "made with fun."
Left: At a Halloween party, they're dressed as superheroes Homelander and Soldier Boy from The Boys, who happen to be sex partners.
Their main claim to fame is a Youtube channel with seven million subscribers.
Some of the videos are in French:
Ne jamais passer des dumplings en classe! (Never boil dumplings in class).
J'ai volé les Noveaux Brainrots! (I stole the new brainrots)
Un diner presque parfait (An almost perfect dinner).
Some are in Franglais:
Live Piscine (swimming pool) Chill
Some are in English:
"Eat 100 years of candy"
"Who is the murderer in our villa?"
"I built a secret swimming pool in my room."
Swan & Neo Brothers, an animated tv series, premiered in 2022. 52 episodes have aired to date, dubbed in many languages, including Albanian, Finnish, Hebrew, and Thai.
Left: A gars from Bordeaux, in case I can't find any n*de photos of Older Brother Neo.
More after the break. Caution: Explicit.
Researching Diego Pooth. The name alone was worth the trip. With a Plattdeutsch dick, a Big Brother Butt, and two Diego dongs
Someone named "San Diego Pooth" showed up in my recommedations. I thought "That can't be his real name." Poof is an old homophobic slur. With a lisp, it's Pooth, so a double slur. And San Diego -- Nobody is named after the town they are born in. Must be a San Diego-area drag queen resurrecting the old slurs for their camp value.
But San Diego Pooth doesn't have any drag photos on his Instagram. He's flexing, modeling, golfing, or dancing with a lady named Ekaterina.
Holy Cow, he's a "public figure," with 129,000 followers, and he appears in a documentary called "Born Famous."
He posts in German, which may explain the Pooth. It may not be a slur in Germany.
Google AI says that it's a Dutch and German name, from either the Middle Low German pot (pool) or pote (young scion).
Low German or Plattdeutsch, spoken by 3-5 million people northern Germany and the Netherlands, is closer to Frisian and English than the Hochdeutsch (Standard German) that most American kids learned in school. I actually learned Plattdeutsch, so to this day I want to pronounce "Ich" with a hard K, Eek, instead of Eesch.
Standard German: Kommst Du in mein Zimmer
Plattdeutsch: Kumm na mien Stuuv
English: I have a big sausage.
Standard German: Ich habe eine grosse Wurst
Plattdeutsch: Ich heff i groot Wuss
Mom Veronica grew up in Hamburg, and won several beauty contests, including Miss Germany. Her IMDB profile shows her bare breasts. I didn't think nudity was allowed.
Veronica married her second husband, Franjo Pooth, in 2004. They have two chldren, San Diego and Rocco Ernesto.
Left: Plattdeutsch dude from Flensburg, as far north as you can go in Germany without hitting Denmark.
Google knows all about San Diego Pooth. He's 23 years old as of this writing, 6'2" or 6'6", son of the ultra famous Veronica Pooth and her husband Franjo. I never heard of them, either.
Veronica is from La Paz, Bolivia, which explains the "San Diego": Juan Diego Cuauhtlatoatzin (1474-1548), a Nahua peasant who had visions of the Virgin Mary, became the first indigenous person to be canonized as a saint by the Roman Catholic Church -- in 2002. Our San Diego was born in 2003.
Mom Veronica grew up in Hamburg, and won several beauty contests, including Miss Germany. Her IMDB profile shows her bare breasts. I didn't think nudity was allowed.
She appears as "herself" in 121 tv shows, beginning with The Disney Club and 12 Stunden über den Dächern von Köln (Twelve Hours Above the Rooftops of Cologne). The most popular seem to be Peep (an erotic show), Big Brother...
Left: A contestant on Big Brother Germany
Star Duell, Menschen (I'd watch that), Extreme Activity, Das Star-Magazin. Ein Herz für Kinder (a fundraiser), Villa der Versuchung ("Temptation Villa").
She also has 13 acting credits, and owns several jewelry and cosmetic brands, including Veronas Dreams and So Perfect.
Veronica married her second husband, Franjo Pooth, in 2004. They have two chldren, San Diego and Rocco Ernesto.
Franjo is the son of famous architect Franz-Josef Pooth (the shortened form, get it?). He studied architecture in London, then founded several companies, notably Maxfield, which Wikipedia says designs MP3 players and "trend-oriented electronic devices."
He was Maxfield's CEO from 2003 until 2008, when he was convicted of corruption and bribery and forced to step down. Later Franjo and Veronica founded Pacific Healthcare, which sells CBD-infused cosmetics and dietary supplements.
More after the break
Dang!: Dysfunctional Asian-American family, with Andrew Law as a gay brother. Gen Z humor, gross-out jokes, cute gay guys, and Brian Jordan Alvarez..
I've been looking forward to the animated Dang!, about dysfunctional Asian-American siblings, wiith some trepidation. In one of the scenes in the trailer, Andrew Dang struggles to say something to a burly Hispanic dude in a bodega, knocks over a display, says "I love you!" and leaves in embarrassment. Sounds like he's gay, but in another scene, he's knocking over furniture in enthusiastic kissing and hugging with a woman, so I'm not sure. I've been fooled by queerbaiting trailers before.
But it stars Andrew Law, the showrunner of The Family Law, about a Chinese-Australian boy coming out, so we'll give it a try.
Scene 1: Boardroom at the XY Deadstock Company. Andrew calls a meeting with his disengaged, phone-scrolling "grindset alpha" employees. His co-owner fires him because "every day you spend hours in the bathroom, eavesdropping on your own employees and tweeting their conversations."
"Can't fire me if you can't catch me!" He runs away in a panic, chased by security guards in a parody of those zany movie chases. One expects to hear "Yackety Sax" in the background. He runs into Lucille, Head of HR, who hands him the termination papers.
Scene 2: A purple-haired woman is livestreaming her foot-bread fetish, accumulating coins. If she gets enough, she promises her feet on marble rye. Andrew comes and gets yelled at for interrupting. She notes that she's only doing this until she lands the job at Klerp, Kate Hudson's lip gloss newsletter.
Andrew being fired will be a major inconvenience, since he pays for all her stuff. "Go back and fight for your job."
Scene 3: Andrew begs the Co-Owner to give him his job back. "We're a world-changing company!" "We let teens resell their fanny packs for $6,000. And you don't do anything." Who would spend that much on a used fanny pack? Unless it's a fetish -- the fanny pack has been close to the guy's junk?
"My lawyer and I will see you in court!"
"Isn't that just a guy you hook up with?"
"We only hooked up once, and it was mostly over-the-pants stuff."
Gay identity established at Minute 5.00, but what about the enthusiastic girl-kissing? Maybe it's bi identity.
Scene 4: Lawyer tells Andrew that they have two options: Prove that the Deadstock Bathroom Twitter account wasn't his. "Nope, it was mine." Ok, prove that he was wrongfully terminated. His older sister Ruthie texts, so he runs away.
Left: The IMDB and the closing credits don't reveal which actor plays which character, so all I know is that Brian Jordan Alvarez (left), Jared Goldstein (below), and Adan Palley are in the cast.
Cut to Klerp, where Purple-Haired Sister is waiting for her internship interview. The receptionist offers several wacky perks, like a cranial massage, bone marrow broth, and a bitch therapist: "A gay guy who agrees with everything you say, but goes too far."
She's interviewed by a young teen girl who puts rose quartz in her coffee. They're ready to hire her, when Andrew appears, gesturing wildly. "Our Sister Ruthie is in town, and she wants to...ugh...grab dinner!"
"Don't panic. We can avoid her until she leaves."
Scene 5: They run back to their apartment to grab some essentials and hide, but she's in the house! She explains that she's moving to town for her very important, very successful job, so she'll be able to evaluate their tech business and muffin shop.
Dang, the siblings don't have either of those careers! "When Little Miss Perfect finds out, she'll be sooo annoying!"
Purple-Hair has another interview at Klerp, so Andrew is in charge of entertaining their sister for the day. She interviews with Kate, who is trying "interminable fasting" and doesn't know what "Cornell" means.
More after the break
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