"Crap Happens": Many gay/bi/trans actors, a gay boy, father-son bonding, puppies, a talking duck, and some Deutsch d*cks

 

After the death of his mother, failed rapper Toni (played by real-life rapper Fatoni, aka Anton Schneider) returns to his backwater Bavaria home town with the charming name Kacken an der Havel, "Pooping on the (River) Havel."  So basically Schitt's Creek.

 He deals with endearing/annoying townsfolk, his mom's much younger boy toy, and Charly, the 13-year old son that he didn't know he had.  While trying to jump-start his rap career.  Hey, Crap Happens.

Right: Anton Schneider.  I don't think he's the same one.

Preliminary research revealed that Charly is played by the nonbinary German actor Sky Arndt, and voiced in the English dub by trans actor Greg Vinciguerra (left, with his character  Brinley Bear of Wolf Pack).

Surely Charly is trans on the show, too.

More LGBTQ representation: The Boy Toy, Johnny Carrera, is played by straight actor Dmitrij Schaad, but voiced by JP Karliak, founder and president of Queer Vox, an organization for LGBTQ voice artists.

Vincent Redetzki, who plays school band leader Paule, is gay in real life.

That's enough for me.  I'll review Episode 1.3, which is Charly-centric: he experiences "his first heartbreak" and meets his first arch-nemesis.

Scene 1: Fleischer's Towing Service (his Mom's company). Asleep on a day bed, Toni is awakened by his son Charly: he had a nightmare. Can he sleep in Toni's bed?  There's no room, but Charly squeezes in anyway.

The narrator, a talking duckling named Tupac, explains that Charly didn't really have a nightmare.  He just wanted to cuddle with his dad.

Scene 2: Toni is exhausted after getting no sleep, but Charly is energetic, and makes breakfast for him, the duck, and the Boy Toy: Chocolate-ketchup fountain, sausage water coffee, green farfalle, and chocolate scrambled eggs.  Does Charly have a learning disability?   Boy Toy insists that they try it to avoid hurting Charly's feelings, and it turns out to be delicious. 

Boy Toy: "It feels like love in my mouth."  This is completely innocent of double-entendre.

In other news, is it weird to be in love with your cousin?

Boy Toy: It's normal in Mexico.  Toni: It's weird in Germany.

Charlie announces today's plan: Paddleboard limbo (a real sport where you stand on a paddleboat and negotiate a barrier).

Toni: "Sorry, no time.  I have writing to do today." Ms. Muller-Muller has commissioned him to write eight rap songs.

Meanwhile, the evil Mayor Veronica and her son are surveilling them, cooking up mischief.

Scene 3: Toni starts to work on a rap song, but is distracted. Narrator: "He hasn't finished a song in 18 years."

At school, Charly heads for Sascha, his girl cousin. She is played by Sherine Ciara Merai, who is gay in real life, and voiced by Jonna-Lynn Alonso, a bi/pan, genderfluid, femme presenting voice artist. 

Apparently they've considered dating before, and he is reporting on his research.  Genetics: No problem with their offspring.  So Charlie must be cisgender. A trans boy doesn't produce sperm, so...wait, is Sascha a girl?  

 Social attitudes: A problem in Germany, but they can always move to Mexico.

Nope, Sascha breaks up with him.  Narrator: "The first heartbreak of his life."  

Next, Band Leader Paule comes in to introduce the newest member, Köbi from Switzerland.  He tries to impress them by speaking in Swiss German. I ran into that problem in Switzerland.  I couldn't understand a word.

Next he demostrate tha the is a guitar whiz. Sacha is totally impressed, but Charly glares.  Moving in on my ex-crush!  My arch-enemy!

Left: A random Deutsch dude.  More after the break.

Unfamiliar: Spy vs. Spy in Berlin, with a Mongolian guy, a gay oldster, Kramer's cock, and the drag boy grown up

Unfamiliar (2026) just dropped on Netflix.  You can tell by the random one-word title that has no connection to the story: it's about spies.  It stars Aaron Altaras, who I just profiled, and Felix Kramer, who plays a gay guy in Dogs of Berlin, so I'll give it a try.

Prologue: A man (Aaron Altaras) walks through a graffiti-strewn bad neighborhood of Berlin, by the Spittelmarkt Square, digs a microchip out of his stomach, and shoots himself in the leg.

Scene 1:  In a fancy restaurant kitchen, a Chef (Felix Kramer) and his assistants are cooking.  Meanwhile, a teenager girl opens a present and her Mom smiles.  A banner says "Happy Birthday" in English.

When the meal is done, the Chief and his assistant Yul bring it in...wait, the apartment is right off the restaurant kitchen?   Chef gives a speech about how he grew up over his dad's restaurant, then became a doctor.  So are you a chef or a doctor?

Uh-oh, a phone call.  The guy from the prologue says that he's been shot and stabbed, so he need medical and transport to a safe house.  Hey, you gave those wounds to yourself!

Chef grabs Mom, and they pick up the guy in their van (which is equipped with ambulance supplies) and drive him to a nondescript building. 

Left: Yul is played by Anand Batbileg Chuluunbataar, which sounds Mongolian.  He has nine acting credits on the IMDB.

Scene 2:  In the safe house, Mom complains that she can't find the guy online. No face recognition, no nothing.  His story doesn't check out either, and he won't tell them who his handler is. 

They discuss whether to believe his story, and then whether their daughter is old enough to go out to the clubs by herself tonight (it's still the night of her birthday dinner).

 "She isn't alone -- Yul is with her."  The guy who was helping Dad cook.  Is he a servant or a boyfriend?

Scene 3:At German Foreign Intelligence Headquarters, the Boss (Laurence Rupp)  asks for intel on both key players. 

Vera Koleev is set to become the Russian ambassador to Germany, although she has no diplomatic experience.  They think she is just a cover for her husband Josef's espionage activity.  But the German higher-ups need evidence to have them deported.  

An old acquaintance is coming in to help them gather the evidence.

Cue a shoe getting out of a car.  I figured it would be the Chef, but it's Grigor Klein (Henry Hübchen), their former Department Head. He looks at surveillance footage of Josef Koleev, the suspected spy, at a Berlin bus station half an hour ago.  He was scheduled to come in legally in a few weeks anyway, so why sneak in now?  Grigor has no idea.

Left: Laurence Rupp's backside.

Scene 4: At the safe house, Mom interrogates the wounded agent.  The guy explains that he worked for a high-end security firm, and stole something.  They objected, and shot him.  Now he needs to vanish. 

Why did he call Chef?   "A lady I knew needed to vanish once, and she told me about your service."

They flirt with each other.  Or else Mom is flirting with him to gain his trust.

She feeds him.  "This food is good.  Did you or your brother make it?"

This surprises Mom, so she makes an excuse to leave the room, and calls Chef: "He thinks we're brother and sister.  The last time we played siblings was on the mission to Belarus 16 years ago!"

Meanwhile, the Agent grabs her fingerprints off her water glass. She watches the action on her spycam. 

Scene 6: The mission to Belarus, 16 years ago.  They enter a farmhouse, but Russian Spy Josef (Samuel Finzi, left) is gone, and everyone is dead except Grigor, who was shot in the stomach. They manage to save Grigor -- and the baby of a pregnant dead woman.  It's their daughter, who is going out to the clubs to celebrate her sixteenth birthday!  So this took place exactly sixteen years ago.

Back to the present: Mom tells Chef that she'll interrogate the Agent to find out who he's working for, but meanwhile their daughter is in danger.  "Go find her and bring her home."

"But she's not answering her phone, and I don't know which club she's going to"  So use your spy skills.

More after the break

"Bumper in Berlin" Episode 1.3: Bumper saves the day by doing everything wrong. With bonus Til Schweiger nudity.

I don't usually review two episodes of the same series, but I'm trying to figure something out. Bumper in Berlin has no gay male characters, limited beefcake, and frequent discussions of the hotness of ladies.  Those should be red flags.  So why is this series my favorite Adam Devine vehicle (including that darn Gemstone thing)?   This is a review of Episode 1.3,  "Verschlimmbessern": to make things worse while trying to make them better.

Scene 1: An ornate concert hall.  Bumper (Adam Devine), the American a capella singer who has come to Germany to become a star, and Heidi, his Love Interest, begin singing the Shaggy song "It Wasn't Me,"  Suddenly the stage goes dark; Heidi collapses, stabbed in the back  She's dying. Bumper has betrayed her by claiming that the song she wrote was his, and thus stealing her future.  And his hands are feet?  He awakens -- just a nightmare!

Scene 2: Bumper meets Heidi at the coffee cart and tries to make it up to her by -- buying her coffee?  He explains that he needed an impressive song to be selected to perform at Unity Day and become a star. Heidi isn't angry, just very disappointed.

Manager Pieter (Flula Borg) has bad news: his ex-girlfriend Gisela, who is competing with Bumper for the Unity Day spot, is doing a big show in Friederickstadt.  In order to stay competitive, he got Bumper a gig performing "his" song on Sour Pickles: a talk show where the guests eat sour pickles.

Bumper tries to make things right with Heidi by refusing to sing the song: it "sucks."  Wait -- Heidi wrote it.  She glares at him.  "Oh, the song is great, but it sucks."  Digging yourself deeper, Buddy.  You got some Verschlimmbessern going on.

Scene 3: On the way to the Sour Pickles studio -- the sign is in English -- Bumper complains to his ally, DJ Das Boot: "I did a bad thing, but I apologized. Why is Heidi still mad? It's not fair."  And by the way "Boot" means  "boat" in German, not the English "boot." 

DJ Das Boot: "You're only interested in making yourself feel better.  Try thinking of someone else's feelings." 

Scene 4:  Bumper and DJ Das Boot perform the song, while Heidi looks on forlornly.  The hosts, played by famous German actors Til Schweiger and Moritz Bleibtrue, cheer.  

Next, it's time to eat increasingly sour pickles while answering questions.  Uh-oh, the hosts twist his words around while he's distracted by the pickles.  First: Bumper admits that he didn't write the song, Heidi did.  Then, that his manager Pieter lied to get him to come to Germany.  Back story: Pieter used a sound machine during an a capella performance, destroying his career and branding him the second-greatest shame in German history. 

Bumper changes the subject to how much he likes Germany, especially the hottie Angela Merkle, whom he would love to twerk-le.  The hosts pretend to be scandalized at the disrespect to the former Chancellor, but actually they love seeing their guests get "into a pickle."  

Scene 5: Back at the office, everyone discusses what a mess Bumper made of his interview.  Shouldn't they have known that the show was about getting people to say the wrong thing?  Pieter's scandal will be revived, DJ Das Boot will be the laughing stock of the DJ community, and Heidi will never be able to sell a song again: "I'm going to have to go on German unemployment.  How am I supposed to survive on just 90,000 euros a year?"

Scene 6: A "scary adult preschool" abandoned factory-art gallery.  Heidi arrives for a date with DJ Das Boot, who criticizes her obsession with planning out every detail in her life: "I don't even know how I'm going to end this sentence."

To cure Heidi of her fear of the unexpected, DJ Das Boot says "Give me a tattoo.  Anything you want."  Heidi protests that she doesn't know how, but who cares?  This is really wacky date.  You ladies ever hear of dinner and a movie? 

She draws a smiley face on DJ Das Boot's shoulder.  "See -- you weren't prepared. You can't fix it.  But you survived!"

Scene 7: Bumper and Manager Pieter want to talk the Sour Pickle hosts into not airing the episode, but the security guard won't let them in.  So Heidi and DJ Das Boot try: the security guard lets them in with no challenge. 

Meanwhile, the guys sit in a bar, being gloomy.  Pieter asks Bumper to save himself,  pretend that lying was all Pieter's idea, but Bumper won't betray his friend.  Awww.... 

The girls arrive: yep, the Sout Pickle guys agreed to pull the episode.  All Pieter has to do is give an interview about his ex-girlfriend Gisela's involvement in his a capella scandal.  Pieter admits that, in fact, it was Gisela's idea, but they were dating, so he took the fall.  She dumped him soon afterwards.

So -- tell the truth, repair your reputation, get over your ex, and damage the career of their main competitor for the Unity Day gig. Plus she deserves it -- she's evil. Sounds great!  Problem: Pieter still loves her, and doesn't like the idea of hurting her.

More Bumper and a lot of Til Schweiger after the break