Researching Diego Pooth. The name alone was worth the trip. With a Plattdeutsch dick, a Big Brother Butt, and two Diego dongs

 

Someone named "San Diego Pooth" showed up in my recommedations.  I thought "That can't be his real name."  Poof is an old homophobic slur.  With a lisp, it's Pooth, so a double slur.  And San Diego -- Nobody is named after the town they are born in.  Must be a San Diego-area drag queen resurrecting the old slurs for their camp value.

But San Diego Pooth doesn't have any drag photos on his Instagram.  He's flexing, modeling, golfing, or dancing with a lady named Ekaterina.

Holy Cow, he's a "public figure," with 129,000 followers, and he appears in a documentary called "Born Famous."

He posts in German, which may explain the Pooth.  It may not be a slur in Germany.

Google AI says that it's a Dutch and German name, from either the Middle Low German pot (pool) or pote (young scion). 

Low German or Plattdeutsch, spoken by 3-5 million people northern Germany and the Netherlands, is closer to Frisian and English than the Hochdeutsch (Standard German) that most American kids learned in school.  I actually learned  Plattdeutsch, so to this day I want to pronounce "Ich" with a hard K, Eek, instead of Eesch.

English: Come to my room

Standard German: Kommst Du in mein Zimmer

Plattdeutsch: Kumm na mien Stuuv

English: I have a big sausage.

Standard German: Ich habe eine grosse Wurst

Plattdeutsch: Ich heff i groot Wuss

Left: Plattdeutsch dude from Flensburg, as far north as you can go in Germany without hitting Denmark.

Google knows all about San Diego Pooth.  He's 23 years old as of this writing, 6'2" or 6'6", son of the ultra famous Veronica Pooth and her husband Franjo.  I never heard of them, either.

Veronica is from La Paz, Bolivia, which explains the "San Diego":  Juan Diego Cuauhtlatoatzin (1474-1548), a Nahua peasant who had visions of the Virgin Mary, became the first indigenous person to be canonized as a saint by the Roman Catholic Church -- in 2002.  Our San Diego was born in 2003.

Mom Veronica grew up in Hamburg, and won several beauty contests, including Miss Germany. Her IMDB profile shows her bare breasts.  I didn't think nudity was allowed. 

She appears as "herself" in 121 tv shows,  beginning with The Disney Club and 12 Stunden über den Dächern von Köln (Twelve Hours Above the Rooftops of Cologne).  The most popular seem to be Peep (an erotic show), Big Brother...

Left: A contestant on Big Brother Germany

Star Duell, Menschen (I'd watch that), Extreme Activity, Das Star-Magazin. Ein Herz für Kinder (a fundraiser), Villa der Versuchung ("Temptation Villa").

She also has 13 acting credits, and owns several jewelry and cosmetic brands, including Veronas Dreams and So Perfect.

Veronica married her second husband, Franjo Pooth, in 2004.  They have two chldren, San Diego and Rocco Ernesto.

Franjo is the son of famous architect Franz-Josef Pooth (the shortened form, get it?).  He studied architecture in London, then founded several companies, notably Maxfield, which Wikipedia says designs MP3 players and "trend-oriented electronic devices."  

He was Maxfield's CEO from 2003 until 2008, when he was convicted of corruption and bribery and forced to step down.  Later Franjo and Veronica founded Pacific Healthcare, which sells CBD-infused cosmetics and dietary supplements.

More after the break

"Crap Happens": Many gay/bi/trans actors, a gay boy, father-son bonding, puppies, a talking duck, and some Deutsch d*cks

 

After the death of his mother, failed rapper Toni (played by real-life rapper Fatoni, aka Anton Schneider) returns to his backwater Bavaria home town with the charming name Kacken an der Havel, "Pooping on the (River) Havel."  So basically Schitt's Creek.

 He deals with endearing/annoying townsfolk, his mom's much younger boy toy, and Charly, the 13-year old son that he didn't know he had.  While trying to jump-start his rap career.  Hey, Crap Happens.

Right: Anton Schneider.  I don't think he's the same one.

Preliminary research revealed that Charly is played by the nonbinary German actor Sky Arndt, and voiced in the English dub by trans actor Greg Vinciguerra (left, with his character  Brinley Bear of Wolf Pack).

Surely Charly is trans on the show, too.

More LGBTQ representation: The Boy Toy, Johnny Carrera, is played by straight actor Dmitrij Schaad, but voiced by JP Karliak, founder and president of Queer Vox, an organization for LGBTQ voice artists.

Vincent Redetzki, who plays school band leader Paule, is gay in real life.

Showrunner Alex Schaad won an Queer Lion Award for Skin Deep (2022), about body swapping and sexual identity.

That's enough for me.  I'll review Episode 1.3, which is Charly-centric: he experiences "his first heartbreak" and meets his first arch-nemesis.

Scene 1: Fleischer's Towing Service (his Mom's company). Asleep on a day bed, Toni is awakened by his son Charly: he had a nightmare. Can he sleep in Toni's bed?  There's no room, but Charly squeezes in anyway.

The narrator, a talking duckling named Tupac, explains that Charly didn't really have a nightmare.  He just wanted to cuddle with his dad.

Scene 2: Toni is exhausted after getting no sleep, but Charly is energetic, and makes breakfast for him, the duck, and the Boy Toy: Chocolate-ketchup fountain, sausage water coffee, green farfalle, and chocolate scrambled eggs.  Does Charly have a learning disability?   Boy Toy insists that they try it to avoid hurting Charly's feelings, and it turns out to be delicious. 

Boy Toy: "It feels like love in my mouth."  This is completely innocent of double-entendre.

In other news, is it weird to be in love with your cousin?

Boy Toy: It's normal in Mexico.  Toni: It's weird in Germany.

Charlie announces today's plan: Paddleboard limbo (a real sport where you stand on a paddleboat and negotiate a barrier).

Toni: "Sorry, no time.  I have writing to do today." Ms. Muller-Muller has commissioned him to write eight rap songs.

Meanwhile, the evil Mayor Veronica and her son are surveilling them, cooking up mischief.

Scene 3: Toni starts to work on a rap song, but is distracted. Narrator: "He hasn't finished a song in 18 years."

At school, Charly heads for Sascha, his girl cousin. She is played by Sherine Ciara Merai, who is gay in real life, and voiced by Jonna-Lynn Alonso, a bi/pan, genderfluid, femme presenting voice artist. 

Apparently they've considered dating before, and he is reporting on his research.  Genetics: No problem with their offspring.  So Charlie must be cisgender. A trans boy doesn't produce sperm, so...wait, is Sascha a trans girl?  

 Social attitudes: A problem in Germany, but they can always move to Mexico.

Nope, Sascha breaks up with him.  Narrator: "The first heartbreak of his life."  

Next, Band Leader Paule comes in to introduce the newest member, Köbi from Switzerland.  He tries to impress them by speaking in Swiss German. I ran into that problem in Switzerland.  I couldn't understand a word.

Next he demostrate tha the is a guitar whiz. Sacha is totally impressed, but Charly glares.  Moving in on my ex-crush!  My arch-enemy!

Left: A random Deutsch dude.  More after the break.

"Bumper in Berlin" Episode 1.3: Bumper saves the day by doing everything wrong. With bonus Til Schweiger nudity.

I don't usually review two episodes of the same series, but I'm trying to figure something out. Bumper in Berlin has no gay male characters, limited beefcake, and frequent discussions of the hotness of ladies.  Those should be red flags.  So why is this series my favorite Adam Devine vehicle (including that darn Gemstone thing)?   This is a review of Episode 1.3,  "Verschlimmbessern": to make things worse while trying to make them better.

Scene 1: An ornate concert hall.  Bumper (Adam Devine), the American a capella singer who has come to Germany to become a star, and Heidi, his Love Interest, begin singing the Shaggy song "It Wasn't Me,"  Suddenly the stage goes dark; Heidi collapses, stabbed in the back  She's dying. Bumper has betrayed her by claiming that the song she wrote was his, and thus stealing her future.  And his hands are feet?  He awakens -- just a nightmare!

Scene 2: Bumper meets Heidi at the coffee cart and tries to make it up to her by -- buying her coffee?  He explains that he needed an impressive song to be selected to perform at Unity Day and become a star. Heidi isn't angry, just very disappointed.

Manager Pieter (Flula Borg) has bad news: his ex-girlfriend Gisela, who is competing with Bumper for the Unity Day spot, is doing a big show in Friederickstadt.  In order to stay competitive, he got Bumper a gig performing "his" song on Sour Pickles: a talk show where the guests eat sour pickles.

Bumper tries to make things right with Heidi by refusing to sing the song: it "sucks."  Wait -- Heidi wrote it.  She glares at him.  "Oh, the song is great, but it sucks."  Digging yourself deeper, Buddy.  You got some Verschlimmbessern going on.

Scene 3: On the way to the Sour Pickles studio -- the sign is in English -- Bumper complains to his ally, DJ Das Boot: "I did a bad thing, but I apologized. Why is Heidi still mad? It's not fair."  And by the way "Boot" means  "boat" in German, not the English "boot." 

DJ Das Boot: "You're only interested in making yourself feel better.  Try thinking of someone else's feelings." 

Scene 4:  Bumper and DJ Das Boot perform the song, while Heidi looks on forlornly.  The hosts, played by famous German actors Til Schweiger and Moritz Bleibtrue, cheer.  

Next, it's time to eat increasingly sour pickles while answering questions.  Uh-oh, the hosts twist his words around while he's distracted by the pickles.  First: Bumper admits that he didn't write the song, Heidi did.  Then, that his manager Pieter lied to get him to come to Germany.  Back story: Pieter used a sound machine during an a capella performance, destroying his career and branding him the second-greatest shame in German history. 

Bumper changes the subject to how much he likes Germany, especially the hottie Angela Merkle, whom he would love to twerk-le.  The hosts pretend to be scandalized at the disrespect to the former Chancellor, but actually they love seeing their guests get "into a pickle."  

Scene 5: Back at the office, everyone discusses what a mess Bumper made of his interview.  Shouldn't they have known that the show was about getting people to say the wrong thing?  Pieter's scandal will be revived, DJ Das Boot will be the laughing stock of the DJ community, and Heidi will never be able to sell a song again: "I'm going to have to go on German unemployment.  How am I supposed to survive on just 90,000 euros a year?"

Scene 6: A "scary adult preschool" abandoned factory-art gallery.  Heidi arrives for a date with DJ Das Boot, who criticizes her obsession with planning out every detail in her life: "I don't even know how I'm going to end this sentence."

To cure Heidi of her fear of the unexpected, DJ Das Boot says "Give me a tattoo.  Anything you want."  Heidi protests that she doesn't know how, but who cares?  This is really wacky date.  You ladies ever hear of dinner and a movie? 

She draws a smiley face on DJ Das Boot's shoulder.  "See -- you weren't prepared. You can't fix it.  But you survived!"

Scene 7: Bumper and Manager Pieter want to talk the Sour Pickle hosts into not airing the episode, but the security guard won't let them in.  So Heidi and DJ Das Boot try: the security guard lets them in with no challenge. 

Meanwhile, the guys sit in a bar, being gloomy.  Pieter asks Bumper to save himself,  pretend that lying was all Pieter's idea, but Bumper won't betray his friend.  Awww.... 

The girls arrive: yep, the Sout Pickle guys agreed to pull the episode.  All Pieter has to do is give an interview about his ex-girlfriend Gisela's involvement in his a capella scandal.  Pieter admits that, in fact, it was Gisela's idea, but they were dating, so he took the fall.  She dumped him soon afterwards.

So -- tell the truth, repair your reputation, get over your ex, and damage the career of their main competitor for the Unity Day gig. Plus she deserves it -- she's evil. Sounds great!  Problem: Pieter still loves her, and doesn't like the idea of hurting her.

More Bumper and a lot of Til Schweiger after the break