"The Curse": One of many "cursed" tv shows leads me from Bjorn Mosten to Xavier R., with a lot of dicks in between

 

Amazon Prime recommended a British tv series called The Curse (2022).  I'm interested in the paranormal, but British dramas are not great at LGBTQ representation, so rather than going through an entire episode, I conduct an internet search on The Curse (2022) and "gay characters." 

A lot of movies and tv shows with that title appeared between 2021 and 2023.  Doesn't anyone ever check to ensure that single-word titles aren't repeated?  

The Curse (2021):  When its new owners (including Laurence Rupp) move in, the curse on a haunted house resurfaces. Left: Bjorn Mosten, who appears when you search on "Laurence Rupp nude."

The Cursed (2021): In 17th century France, Seamus (Alastair Petrie) attacks a Romani camp.  They get revenge by sending a werewolf to kill people in his village. 

Left: Alastair's backside.

The Curse (2023): An American tv series about a newlywed man and woman trying to be eco-friendly in a small New Mexico town.  It stars Emma Stone and Nathan Fielder.

Left: Nathan's penis, or a prosthetic. 

He also shows his backside.

The Curse (2023): An American tv series about the host of a HGTV show about "passive homes," starring Emma Stone and Nathan Fieder.

Wait, this is the same show with a completely different premise.  Did they reboot halfway through?

Reverse the Curse (2023): Ted (Logan Marshall-Green) is a failed writer turned penis vendor at Yankee Stadium. He moves home to care for his dying father, and creates a winning streak for his favorite baseball team.

Sorry, I meant peanut vendor, but he shows his penis, too. 

After the first five, I give up: Apparently the British tv series The Curse (2022) exists nowhere on the internet except on Amazon Prime.  

More after the break. Caution: Explicit.

Jason Hervey: Did the "Wonder Years" big brother hook up with guys in West Hollywood? How big was he? With explicit photos

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Gemstones Season 4 Finale: Saying goodbye to the Gemstones. With eight gay/bi characters, countless cocks, and a friggin' glory hole.

 

Previous: You are invited to Kelvin and Keefe's wedding, with exclusive NSFW photos from the honeymoon

In March 2023, my partner and I subscribed to the streaming service HBO/MAX to watch science fiction programs like The Last of Us and Doctor Who.  He  also wanted to watch The Righteous Gemstones, a comedy/drama about "a famous and dysfunctional family of televangelists," but "No, thanks." After a childhood of preachers screaming "God hates you!" every Wednesday night and twice on Sunday, I thought that even a critique of evangelical homophobia would be too traumatic.

Then one day I was walking through the living room on the way to a snack, and I saw the Gemstones walking in slow motion toward Jason's Steakhouse: A nuclear family husband, wife, and kids; another male-female couple and their pregnant daughter; and, taking up the rear, a gay couple!  They were holding hands!  They joined the others at the dinner table with no recriminations, no stupid questions about "which of you is the man?", no yelling about the Book of Leviticus.  I was astonished.

Watching from the beginning, I found a show that was crass, vulgar, and often grotesque, with annoying plot holes and a complete disregard for internal consistency.  Plus it took forever for the showrunners to admit that Kelvin and Keefe were canon, resulting in endless annoying "they're really straight buddies" arguments. But once they were acknowledged, Season 4 became a masterpiece of gay inclusion, with their wedding the pivotal moment of the entire series.  

A gay wedding was the pivotal moment in a series about Evangelicals!

Plus: A more obvious, and highly erotic, romance between Gideon and Scotty.

Both Eli and Baby Billy have gay relationships in their past.

Queer coded characters everywhere.  Just when you think there couldn't be any more, they start dropping hints about Pontius. 

Two homoerotic bands of brothers taken directly from Tom of Finland prints.

A near total absence of heterosexual activity, and almost no lady parts.

Nonstop beefcake.

Penises in nearly every episode.  

 A friggin' glory hole!

Gay men were not only welcome at the table, the table was designed for them.  In the midst of some profound theological questions about faith and forgiveness.

There has never been anything on tv like it.

Two years have passed, with two conference presentations, a scholarly book, two blogs with over 500 reviews and profiles each, over 20 fan stories, and endless fan discussions. And now it's time to say goodbye (sort of).

Fortunately, the Series Finale features a special goodbye message for those viewers who found the show, and the characters, especially meaningful:

Saying Goodbye is Never Easy: During the Kelvin-Keefe wedding reception, while Eli watches everyone dancing, we hear the letter that Aimee-Leigh wrote to Lori years ago:

Saying goodbye is never easy -- it's not something I've ever been good at.  Sometimes it's easier to never say goodbye and just leave things where they lay.  Don't wrap it up all nice and neat.  

Hear that, fans?  We're not going to tie up every loose end.

The Grave:  Eli hugging Lori as she cries at Corey's grave.   

Takeaways: 

1. Corey was born in 1976, so he's six years older than Jesse, making it unusual for them to be friends.  Imagine a 10 year old and a 16 year old hanging out.

2. Season 4 begins in September 2024.  Corey dies in July 2025.  The wedding takes place several months later, I estimate in October.

3. Continuity error: the Gator Farm Massacre occurred in late June or early July 2025.  Earlier we read that Big Dick Mitch went missing in March 2024.  No way he was a prisoner for over a year.  

Don't look for closure in a goodbye.  We rarely get the closure we want. Most times we don't even get the closure we need.  Sometimes things happen and the life we knew is taken from us, just like that. It can happen fast.

I'll need a minute.

Hugging: Back at the reception. Eli grins at the people dancing and hugging.  Jesse and Amber hug.  Kelvin dances with Tiffany and Judy. Keefe hugs Baby Billy.  

Cut to Baby Billy, Tiffany, and the Nanny having a picnic. 

It's in those times you realize how precious friends are, family.  

The Gold Bible: The Siblings install the Gold Bible on a pedestal at the Salvation Center, in front of a video presentation about Aimee-Leigh and Eli's ministry.

How important it is to let Jesus' love find you through them so we can lift each other up. 

Gideon Finds His Place: Performing at the opening of the new Gemstone Christian Skatepark, Gideon is able to combine his interest in stuntwork and the ministry. Banners say: Christian Skate Summit.

A shot of Jesse talking to Vance was cut. Apparently they're on friendly terms.

Pontius and Abraham, with Ash on one side and Edge on the other, gawk at the stunts.  Now there are girl skaters; previously Pontius' group has been entirely male.  I'm calling it: he's bi. 

And Abraham's pink shirt?  Plus check out his room in Episod 1.1: pictures of Holly Hobby dolls and a ballerina nightlight.  He's gay. Prove me wrong.

Aimee-Leigh continues: So we can fly even higher.   

Shot of Gideon flying high.

More after the break

"Unspeakable Sins": Mexican sleaze telenovela with a lot of hunks, some gay (but on the downlow), some tied up.

 

Netflix knows my algorithm, and used this icon of a tied-up muscleman to draw my attention to the Mexican tv series Unspeakable Sins (Pecados Inconfesables). Being gay is usually at the top of the list of "unspeakable sins," so there are bound to be some gay characters.

The viewer reviews on IMDB are awful, but maybe that's due to homophobia.  One guy complained: "only male nudity shown...which is very disappointing for male viewers."

Apparently he is unaware that gay men exist.  So let's get to some of that male nudity.

Episode 1.1: "The Trap."

Scene 1: Helena and her young adult son try to escape from her abusive Billionaire Husband,  but he comes home unexpectedly.  He announce that she must continue to play the role of Perfect Wife, or he'll kill her.

Scenes 2-8: Cut to Helena sitting by the pool, gawking as the hustler Ivan (Andres Baida, left) slowly raises himself out of the water.  What follows is a lengthy sex scene with those esophagus-licking spectacles that pass for kissing in telenovelas.  And more and more.  And more and more.  Eventually the Hustler stops charging her; they're dating.

Scene 9: This doesn't sit well with his pimp, who complains that it's against the rules to get involved with your clients. Plus she's married to the Billionaire, who is absurdly powerful: if he finds out about the affair, he'll kill them and all of their friends and relatives.

Of course, he continues the affair.

There's so much sleazy heterosexual graping and fondling going on that I have to keep fast-forwarding.  I'll just give plot summaries while I am looking for the tied-up dude.

Episode 1.2: "The Reunion"

Helena has an idea that will get her freedom and allow her and the Hustler to date openly (or so she says).  The Billionaire often engages in "unspeakable sins" with young men on the downlow.  Maybe the Hustler could seduce him, and record their activity?   Then she could use the tape to blackmail him into letting her and her son go.

The plan works until, in the midst of their unspeakable sins, the Billionaire notices the cameras, catches on to the blackmail scheme, and beats the Hustler up.  Then he disappears.  Did the Hustler murder him?

The plot thickens as Octavio, the Billionaire's son from his first marriage,  tries to prevent the police investigation of the disappearance. Maybe Octavio murdered him?

Episode 1.3: "Desperation"

Octavio is kidnapped by the Billionaire's business partner, El Magic.  But it's not the tied-up hunk scene: Octave is fully clothed, and getting beat up, not hanging around.

Plot dump: El Magic lent a lot of money to the Billionaire.  He wants Octavio to have his father declared dead so he can take over the bank accounts and get El Magic his money.  

Episode 1.4: "Under Suspicion"

Helena's son Fer tells Octavio that he accidentally killed his mother, the Billionaire's first wife.  The plot gets more convoluted.  No one is innocent; everyone has a sleazy secret.

The Billionaire happened to record the incident, and used it to blackmail Helena into marrying him.  

Plus the Billionaire abused Fer, calling him a pansy and kicking him in the testicles.  Did Fer murder the Billionaire to get revenge for suggesting that he was gay?  Oh, and for that blackmail thing.

More after the break