Gemstones Episode 4.7: Pontius and Kelvin have their nards threatened, Gideon finds his voice, and skaters show their d*cks

 

Previous: Gemstones Episode 4.6, Continued: Cobb smashes, Corey lies, and Kelvin is traumatized for life.  With Mongolian men and Jace's junk

Title: "For jealousy is the rage of a man," Proverbs 6:34, KJV.  

The full verse, NIV: "For jealousy arouses a husband's fury, and he will show no mercy when he takes revenge."  Husband? I think we're going for Cobb as the Big Bad.

Left and below: Michael Sayfou, who plays Ash, Pontius' friend (and Abraham's boyfriend in my fan fiction)

The plotlines in this episode are not thematically linked, so I'll separate them by character.

Cobb's Story:  

We open with the gaping mouth of an alligator!  Various hooks, tools, skins, and Lori's ex-husband Cobb practicing boxing on a mannequin labeled "Feel the Pain."  

Lori drives up and yells "Nope!  We're not doing this again!"  She yells at him for trying to scare off every man she gets involved with.  She's probably referring to the brick through the her window and the car set on fire, but you never know.

He tries flirting with her - "You can't stay away.  Must be my animal magnetism."  But she says next time she's calling the cops. Next time?  I'd be calling the moment it happened.

Later, Cobb puts on a show at the Gator Farm. He rings a bell to signal "dinner time" to his favorite gator, the huge, ornery Big Gus.  "Gators are territorial.  Invade their territory, they'll bite you."  Uh-oh, Eli is in the audience!  The connection to Eli and Lori is too easy.  It must be a misdirection.

Cut to Cobb bagging up a toy alligator in the gift shop.  Shouldn't he have someone working during the show?   Eli approaches and explains that Lori is with him now, so "no more trouble." 

Cobb lays into him, noting that Lori has been with a lot of men since the divorce, and she was doing "sick, nasty stuff" up in Pigeon Forge.  He hands Eli a newspaper ad for her escort service: "Adult companionship -- wealthy men.  Call, click, connect.  First half hour free."

Ok, this has to be fake.  Prostitution is illegal in the U.S., so she couldn't advertise openly.  Escorts usually work from a standard client list.  You would neveer specify "wealthy men."  And what does "first half hour free" mean?  You charge by the act, not by the hour.

Cut to lunch. Eli asks Lori about the escort business ad. She claims that it's fake: "Cobb made up those ads to try to smear me."  There's not much call for 65-year old hookers in Pigeon Forge.

Eli also ran a credit check.  "You're broke.  You declared bankruptcy last year."

This makes Lori angry.  Accusing her of being a "whore," and then of being a gold-digger!  "Aimee-Leigh used to tell me how much you care about money.  I thought she was exaggerating."  She throws some money on the table to pay for her lunch and walks out. 

Kelvin's Story

Keefe arrives at Kelvin's treehouse, but the rope ladders and platforms have been pulled up, so he can't get in. 

Kelvin: "This is what cowards do.  They hide in their forts."  In what way was the round table debacle cowardice?  

Keefe points out that everyone at Prism is worried about him, but Kelvin doesn't believe it: "They're not concerned.  They just realized that I am a failure."

Tonight is the final event in the Top Christ Following Man promotion: the Night of Testimonies. "Nope, not going.  Now go away."

Cut to Keefe morosely turning off the lights at the Prism Prayer Room and puting a sign up: "No Prism today.  Maybe tomorrow or maybe another day or something."

The Monkey's Story

In the kitchen, the Monkey feeds BJ pretzels, gets him some water, and kisses him on the lips -- five or six times, yuck! -- while Judy fumes.   

Later, she is in her bathroom, primping in front of the mirror, when the Monkey starts flinging its treats at her.  Then it jumps onto her vanity and throws her makeup onto the floor.  She rushes out into the dining room to tell BJ what's happening -- he's cleaning the Monkey's butt.  Gross!  

BJ says that it's not a competition.  He loves both Judy and the Monkey.

Then he brings up Kelvin's round-table debacle: "Poor guy.  Vance Simkins is a self-righteous bigot and a homophobe."  Judy is angry with Kelvin due to his insults earlier, so she refuses the Monkey's suggestion that she visit and talk to him.

Vance's Story 

At the Cape and Pistol Society, Vance gloats: "Getting rid of Kelvin gives me a clear path to victory (in the Top Christian Man Contest).  He was the only real competition."  Plus, he enjoys hurting Kelvin, because it hurts Jesse. 

But Jesse counters that he hates Kelvin due to his insults from earlier, so "it doesn't hurt me at all.  It strengthens me."

Vance continues, evoking the Night of Testimonies: "I'm going to ruthlessly dismantle Kelvin -- if he has the nards to show."   He takes a meatball from Jesse's plate and, pretending that it is a testicle, eats it.  "Tasty."

Left: Kelvin's nards.

More nards after the break

Zach Galligan: The "Gremlins" guy ruined my childhood, sort of. Plus his dick, Michelangelo's David, and Bubba's bulge

The spring of 1984 was dark and dismal, endless days and weeks and months of trying and failing.  A degree in English and Modern Languages with professors who said "You can do anything you want. Go into advertising, or public relations, or book publishing."  A hundred resumes sent to advertising agencies, public relations firms, and publishing houses all over the country, with no answer or "no openings."  By the end of May, my friends had all gone home for the summer or graduated, so I walked the streets of Bloomington alone, looking up at the cross on the tower of a distant church and wondering if there was anything ahead but dead ends.

On the evening of June 15th, I saw Gremlins,  starring 20-year old Zach Galligan as a teenager who accidentally feeds his mogwai after midnight, thus turning it into a rampaging monster.

 The movie itself was of minimal interest. Zach may have had a buddy-bonding friendship with fellow mogwai enthusiast Corey Feldman on the way to winning the Girl of His Dreams.

It was Zach's jaw-dropping handsomeness that convinced me that there was some good left in the world, leading to a job in Texas and eventually to West Hollywood.

During the next years and decades, I didn't learn much more about Zach.  I never saw him in any other movie or tv show, except maybe a 1998 episode of Star Trek: Voyager, where I didn't recognize him.

There was an occasional photo or reference on one of the gay celebrity websites that we had back in the days of America Online and Myspace.  They revealed that: 

1. Zach was tied up in a lot of his movies.  This shot appeared over and over.  

And:

2. He was gay in real life.  I never questioned this.

A few days ago, I noticed a run on my earlier profile of Zach Galligan, so I started researching him for a new profile.   

First, n*de photos.  

A butt pic was easy.

A frontal, a little harder to find.  I don't think this is him.

More after the break.  Caution: Explicit.

Brendan Scannell: M&M Guy, queer Heather, bondage top, stand-up comedian. With the boyfriend and Joel Kim Booster

When I reviewed the Disney Channel's long, tediously careful coming-out story Diary of a Future President, I didn't recognize the M&M guy, Brendan Scannell.  But he starred in a Netflix tv series that I reviewed, Bonding (2018, 2021), one of those semi-autobiographical series featuring the early experiences of a gay comedian (Rightor Doyle, not Brendan).

The bonding on my other website means male bonding, gay-subtext friendships. This bonding is BDSM.

Psychology student Tiff gets a job as a dominatrix (heterosexual BDSM top), and talks her friend, aspiring comedian Pete (Brendan), into becoming her assistant.  Well, he gets to touch hot guys' willies, and most heterosexual BDSM scenes don't involve vanilla sex. Besides, he's sort of bi.

Episodes involve learning the ropes of BDSM (har har),  quirky clients, Pete introducing his BDSM experiences into his comedy act, and both of them facing the problem of how to tell romantic partners about their job. Pete dates Josh (Theo Stockman), and Tiff Doug (Micah Stock, left).

Alex Hurt, left, plays Pete's wacky roommate, who is sort of straight.

I found it a bit too cliched, depending on silly stereotypes, especially of clients.  Plus a bit too heterosexual for a gay coming out story: Pete is sort of in love with Tiff.

Brendan has 25 acting credits listed on the IMDB, beginning with heterosexual roles like a disgruntled husband in  Limp and Crunchy (2015) and disgruntled prank victim bait in Kill Game (2016).  

But he got to be gay, or rather queer (wearing feminine outfits and use they/them pronouns) as Heather Duke in the 2018 tv version of Heathers.  In case you haven't seen the 1988 movie or 2010 musical, it's not a comedy.  There are multiple murders and suicides, plus blowing up the prom.

More after the break

Why you should visit Viaden: 12 Luxembourgish guys with grossen Wirscht, some with tree trunks. Plus BDSM and Uncle Scrooge

 

No profile or review mentions Luxembourg; I just like the country.   They have an interesting Medieval festival in Vianden, about an hour north of Luxembourg City, on the German border.

With a lot of cute guys.

1.-2. A juggler and a random guy in Medieval garb.

Vianden castle

A Chinese restaurant in Echternach, about 30 minutes from Vianden.

3. Echternach chef

4.-6. Cyclist bulges

7.-8. A gay swimmer into bondage.

More after the break. Caution: Explicit.