Stephen Schneider: Heterosexual love interest, heterosexual bottom, hung sleazoid, diversity dad

 Stephen Schneider's profile on the IMDB tells us only that he was born in Sharon, Massachusetts and he's married with children.  Wikipedia adds that he's Jewish.

 

Here he and his Dad study for his Bar Mitzvah.

He graduated from Emory University in Atlanta, started a sketch comedy website, and wrote, produced, and starred in some short films, including "Not Gay," 2006.

Soon Stephen found his niche in comedy, playing quirky boyfriends.

Ray Stark, the Love Interest of one of the Best Friends Forever, 2012.

Ben in the relationship comedy, Things You Shouldn't Say Past Midnight, 2014.

You're the Worst, 2014-17, follows the romance of two horrible people, Jimmy and Gretchen.  Stephen plays Gretchen's ex, who is still in love with her.  They eventually hookup, of course.

Stephen is on the IMBD list of Hung Actors, along with Derek Yates,John Cena, and Ben Affleck -- #32, but I don't think it's organized by size.  He gets naked here, but no frontal.

Broad City, 2014-2017, follows two female best friends looking for love and sex in contemporary New York. Stephen plays Abbi's hunky next door neighbor, whom she is crushing on.  When they finally hook up, she discovers that he's a heterosexual anal bottom.  Not a problem, but then she tries to wash his favorite dildo in the dishwasher, ruining it, ending the relationship.

For someone who gets placed on the Hung List, Stephen is rather stingy about showing his dick.  In Broad City, all we get are underwear shots.

More Stephen after the break. Caution: arousal.

"My Life with the Walter Boys": Five brothers, three hunks, and some "are they really gay?" mishegas

  

I dislike tv series about how small towns are so much better than big cities, with good old fashioned down-home values -- which means gender-polarization,  mom baking pies and dad watching football, plus heterosexism, every boy gazing wistfully at a girl.  

But My Life with the Walter Boys, on Netflix, is about a big-city girl who moves to a ranch in Colorado, for some reason, where the family has five boys!  Including Cole, played by 25 yer old Noah LaLonde (top photo)!  I'm going to review Episode 3, which has the Homecoming Huddle -- a dance, i guess -- to check for gay characters.

Scene 1: In the rustic barn, Sensitive Alex (22-year old Ashby Gentry) is telling focus character Jackie the colorful history of the family's cider wagon and explaining how important home coming is.

Cut to Brooding Cole, practicing football with his little sister,  who is playing her first junior football game.  He'll be in the stands cheering her on. At least no one is uptight about breaking gender stereotypes.  As he bends over, he winces -- uh-uh, injury.

Scene 2: Two boys at the kitchen table, while Dad (Marc Blucas, left) talks to someone about the pests eating their crops.  Hopefully the new pesticide will kill the lot.  Mom comes in -- wait I thought it was a single dad -- and drinks coffee while discussing farm stuff.

Scene 3: At school, Jackie's friend thanks her for not telling Brooding Cole's girlfriend that they're cheating on her (Horndog Cole apparently cheats on everybody with everybody).   

On to a meeting of the fundraising committee for the auditorium renovation. They expect kids to take care of that? Jackie suggests a silent auction. Mean Girl, who hates Jackie because you have to have an antagonist, thinks the idea is ridiculous, but everyone else loves it.  Snarl, snarl. 

More butts after the break

Gemstones Episode 3.3, Continued: A fire dance, a limp wrist, a phallic sword, and Balkan sex gods

Previous:  Episode 3.3: Baby Billy sings forever, Kelvin can't say the word, BJ poses nude, and I'm depressed

Cousins' Afternoon:  The Gemstone siblings and their partners sit on cabana chairs, insulting their cousins, the Montgomery boys,  while they swim in the trout pond.   Kelvin lays on the femme stereotyping, even flashing a limp wrist.  This will be important later.

Keefe, who of course looks at men's crotches a lot, points out that Cousin Karl has a lot of pubic hair.  Kelvin quips "Looks like he's got a chinchilla up there!"  It sounds like he is making a mean joke to draw attention away from his interest in what men really have up there.

The Fire Dance: For their entertainment, Keefe performs a highly erotic fire dance in the waning light, near a path lit by a thousand fires.  I am reminded of Coleridge's "Kublai Khan":

A savage place! as holy and enchanted as e’er beneath a waning moon was haunted by a man wailing for his demon lover.

Keefe here is the demon lover, pure erotic energy, offering his mouth, butt, and penis simultaneously. He is the new Messiah of Muscle, rejecting cozy, tepid phileo, friendship, for the eros, erotic desire, that promises ecstasy or damnation.

Top photo: the real Fire Dancer

Why would anyone perform a highly erotic dance for his boyfriend's family?  What does Keefe hope to accomplish?  I think he is showing the family -- and Kelvin himself -- that he is a sexual being, Kelvin's lover, not a "good buddy." 

Early in the episode, Kelvin couldn't admit that they were lovers. Now Demon Keefe shows him that they are.   He has never been sure if his desire for Keefe will lead him to heaven or hell.  Now he knows -- both. 

Background note: The dark, disturbing music playing is "Balkan Sex God" from A Serbian Film, 2010, which regularly appears on lists of "the most disturbing films of all time."  It features Srđan Todorović as a retired porn actor drawn into starring in a snuff film. 

Todorovic dick

Cousins' Evening:  A huge dining hall, with the family and cousins using just one table, Keefe and Kelvin sitting across from each other instead of side by side!  Why does the staging back off from depicting them as a couple?

Kelvin pours on the femme stereotypes thickly, limping his wrists constantly as if he's in a 1920s pansy act, and coincidentally or not puts his "wedding ring" on full display.

Uncle Baby Billy pretends he's the host of his Bible Bonkers game show, where families compete at Bible trivia. He goes around the table and asks  each of the "contestants" their name and what they do for a living.  The Montgomery boys work in landscaping.  Then it's Keefe's turn.  He is ready to speak, but Baby Billy skips him with a rude "nuh-huh," angering him.  But it's not a homophobic snub: Baby Billy skips over BJ, too: "You ain't family."  Only born Gemstones count. 

Next it's "the weirdo boy with the puffy muscles," the second and last reference to Kelvin's physique this season, and maybe a euphemism for "gay." But Kelvin refuses to participate. 

More Balkan sex gods after the break