The Fixers: A gay-vague Taiwanese hunk, a bi gambler, politicians, blackmail, mysterious monks, and nude Chinese dudes

  

The Fixers, on Netflix: "A mismatched pair...."  Good enough for me: let's find some gay subtexts.

Episode 1: "The Swamp Eel." 

Scene 1: A chubby eyeglassed guy awakens in the hull of a ship, chained to a bed.  A young guy (Jun Shuo-Lou) tells him that they've been kidnapped because "Your boss found out that you were sleeping with his wife."

"But I'm just his accountant.  I never even met his wife."

What other reason would he have to kill them?  

He has evidence of money laundering -- the Boss must think that he's going to leak it.  But it's hidden in his study.

"They're in the study," Driver says, tossing him the key to his chains as he walks out.  Huh?  

He wasn't in a ship after all; he was in a truck. We see the Driver changing clothes beside his ritzy car, while his partner is eating a sandwich.  "We just kidnapped you to get the location of the incriminating evidence.  You're free to go."

As they zoom off, the driver, who turns out to be a fixer named Gold, calls the Boss to say that they're on the way to get the ledgers.  His partner complains that they keep doing jobs for the police. 

Scene 2:  Establishing shot of a poor neighborhood.  A dice game. Uh-oh, Swamp Eel (Christopher Ming Shun Lee, right) uses a device to cheat, then gathers his money. "My beautiful wife has made me dinner, so I have to go."  Heterosexual identity established immediately.

Some gangsters led by Milky enter.  Swamp Eel asks "Coffee, tea, or me?" An old stewardess joke that implies gay/bi identity.

"Your debt's overdue. Time to pay."

"Um...er...uh...business is slow.  Let's play a dice game for it."

Milky (Sam Lin, left) bets a huge amount. Swamp Eel uses his device, but they catch him. 

"Now we're going to cut off your most valuable body part!"  No, not his p*enis, his finger.  

Swamp Eel runs away, across the housetops, and into a secret hole in a wall, across another rooftop, into an open-air market, where he swings a swamp eel like a lasso. They pellet him with cabbages. He jumps into a police car and blows them kisses.

Scene 3: He arrives at home to find "Scammers go away!" signs all over his house.  His son Howie reveals that his wife is live streaming about being scammed.  She used the house as collateral to take out a loan for five million Taiwan dollars ($16,000 USD) to invest in cryptocurrency, expecting to get rich.  Instead, she lost everything.

The IMDB says that Howie is played by Chen-yu Sun, but he is voiced by Sebastian Sero.  Must be the English dub.

Swamp Eel yells at her for losing the money. "You're obsessed with getting rich!"

"Well, what do you do all day? Nothing!  I think you have a lover."

"Ok, ok, I'll take care of it.  I'll get the money back."

Scene 4: A girl enters Chiu Cha Temple, a second-story the Xinzhuang District of New Taipei City. She prays, then fills out a consultation card and selects a fortune stick.  In a hidden room, the monk looks up her information online, comes out, and tells her that Mr. Chao should go to a different temple, Ching He- by himself. 

Cut to the middle-aged Mr. Chao (Jui Hung Ma, n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) with an unbrella walking up steps in the rain to reach the fictional Ching He Temple. A Monk leads him through several rooms to a meeting with the Head Monk, who asks "How can we help you?"

Scene 5:  This is confusing.  Mr. Chao is seeking re-election, but his son's drug arrest is ruining his chances.  But then another extremely important guy appears at a re-election fundraiser, and while he is being photographed by the press, his estranged son appears.  Everyone is shocked.  But it's not Mr. Chao and his drug-bust son.  It's someone else. Why confuse viewers like this?

Scene 6: The Eel gets a phone call from his Friend Jung: Gangster Milky is telling everyone that his games are rigged, and everyone knows that they're out 5,000,000 NTD, so he needs money, right?  Friend Jung has a debt collection job that pays 300,000 but he'll have to flash a gun around.  The Eel refuses: "I don't do that anymore," but changes his mind and retrieves the tin box with his gun.  

Left: Random Taiwanese guys.

Cut to the fundraiser, where the New Guy is schmoozing.  His estranged son, whom everyone was surprised to see, turns out to be the Driver from Scene 1, actually Louis Hsieh or Fixer Gold, who works for the monks of the Ching He Temple (where Mr. Chao asked for assistance).  He approachesd a girl at the bar, flirts with her, talks her into drinking, then invites her up to his room:

For an interrogation: "I can't believe that a woman with a Ph.D. had to hook up with her boss's husband." Hey, that's the line he used in his first scam.  Turns out that she works for Mr. Chao's opponent, Lu Shu-Jung (not listed in the IMDB), who hired a tough named Noobs to frame Mr. Chao's son, thus ruining his campaign.

"Why did Tough Noobs agree to do it?"

"We promised to get his own drug charges dropped.  But we're going to frame him for kidnapping and human trafficking.  He's going to prison regardless, evil laugh."

"Ok, I recorded the conversation. You're free to go."  So Fixer Gold wasn't really into her.

More after the break

Yuchi Chiu: The naked man on Leighton's couch teaches special education, plays gay guys, likes penises. With three examples.

 

We're watching Dark Matter (2024-26), starring Joel Edgerton as Jason, as a struggling physics teacher who is kidnapped and zapped into a parallel world -- by himself! The Parallel World Jason invented a device that can zap you between worlds. He wanted Our Jason's wife and kid (the show is aggressively heteronormative), so he decided to for a switch. 

In Episode 1.4, Imposter Jason visits Leighton (Dayo Okiniyi), who funded the device back home. Here he's a partyboy living on his grandpa's trust fund.  As they talk in his swanky apartment, a naked person gets up from the couch and walks toward the bedroom.

"That's a naked man!" I exclaimed.  "Leighton is gay!"

"No way -- this series is entirely heteronormative," my partner countered. "It must be a woman." But he rewound the sequence.

"Look -- short hair, no hips."  

"I'm not sure.  They're in the background, and the scene lasts for a second."

I had to agree that it was very subtle, easy to miss if you weren't looking for it, but still, a queer code.

The naked man is listed on the IMDB as Yuchi Chiu.

Who has a beautiful physique.

According to his resume, Yuchi was born and raised in L.A., but moved to Chicago for college.  After receiving a B.A. in Communication and Commercial Music from Northwestern in 2015, and a M.A. in Special Education from Dominion in 2017, he became a teacher.

This isn't good: in 2017 Yuchi goes to church to hear one of his special education students sing, and hears Christian rapper Chancer give his testimony.  Sounds like our boy is on the fundamentalist side, which usually means homophobic.

Chance the Rapper's penis, in case you're interested.

While teaching, Yuchi starred in the short Audition: a down-and-out violinist (Amy Meek) seduces a conductor (Yuchi) to get a chair in his orchestra.

Rather a heteronormative start to your career, buddy. 

And BJ's Mobile Gift Shop: A young hustler (not that kind of hustler) makes the rounds in Chicago.

He also did some Calvin Klein modeling.

In 2022, Yuchi moved into full-time acting, with guest spots on Chicago Med and Stuck in Reality.

In 2023, the shorts Kairos, which seems to be about a father and daughter, and ba.la, about a competitive swimmer with PTSD.

In 2024, the shorts Parting Piece and The Coder, and Naked Man on Dark Matter.

His butt, anyway.  His penis after the break

The Season: Rich straight guys have problems, too. Even in Hong Kong. With some dicks, bulges, yachts, and the dad from "Lost in Space"

I've been fooled by two tv series and a movie today.

Voice mails for Isabelle: A guy sits by Golden Gate Bridge, complaining to his dead sister he can't find his people in San Francisco. Where are all the drag queens. It took me 20 minutes to figure out that it's actually a girl, not a gay guy.  She was wearing a hoodie and pants to trick you into watching.  

Booth Bangla: A guy plans his sister's wedding.  He doesn't express any heterosexual interest -- until halfway through the movie, when he meets the Girl of His Dreams.

Oasis: A family checks into an exclusive resort.  Two boys immediately meet the Girls of Their Dreams, and an established couple smooch.  I was holding out for the teenage daughter to be a lesbian because she keeps cruising girls.  Nope,  she meets the Boy of Her Dreams at Minute 12.  

Heck with it.  I'm watching The Season on Hulu, about "the glittering world of super-yachts, sun, and scandal" in Hong Kong.  At least there will be some nice exterior shots.

Episode 1 Prologue.  A woman tells us: "Hong Kong is a city of bloodlines.  It will destroy you."   An elegantly dressed middle-aged woman floats in the water outside a burning yacht.  She sinks.

Scene 1: Six weeks earlier.  A young woman jogs through Hong Kong.  Nice exterior shots.  Someone named Carrie calls, and tells her that her job today is impress the Hexts.  Impress them, and you've got it made in Hong Kong.

A taxi takes her through the forest to her destination, a mansion or institution.   Carrie ends her cardio work out to greet her.  Back story: Her name is Cola (I love your parents' products, girl!), she has graduated with a degree in economics and maths, and her classmate Carrie, a wealth mover, has invited her to come out to Hong Kong as an intern.  "I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get a full-time job offer," Cola says.  Lie?  Steal?  Blow up yachts? 

The summer is Boating Season, where Hong Kong A-Listers decide who they will admit to their social network.  You have one chance to make a good impression; a single misstep, and you're out. 

Scene 2:  A lady, maybe Carrie, tells the staff that everything must be spotless, and asks Jon if he is ready for the maiden voyage.  "Bring on the Bacchanalia," he says in a bored/aesthete tone. He'll be telling the guests to "Diversity at your own risk."  He must be gay.

His teenage daughter sneers: "Great small talk, dad."  Nope. 

On the way upstairs to change, Jon asks a Male Staffer, "Is everything ready?"  Maybe they are having an affair. Wife, now calling him Christopher, says "I really need this to work."

Why the changed name?  It turns out that Bored Aesthete is Christopher (Toby Stephens, the Dad on Lost in Space).  Jon (Lee-Jai Yoon, top photo) is the Male Staffer.  Wife asked him a question while she was walking away from him, toward Christopher, who answered for him.

Scene 3: Cola and Carrie enter the yacht.  They're joined by a guy named Andrew Fung (Chris Pang of Crazy Rich Asians), who was in St. Tropez, but it's too hot in Europe. "Global warming is so inconvenient."

When Carrie introduces Cola, Andrew teases "A younger, hotter version of you?" Heterosexual identity established in his second sentence.  His "lovely wife" Niki arrives and is introduced.  Her family owns the Harbor Club, and are the bitter rivals of the Hexts, whom they are there to impress.  

Next Jay and Sara Byford, from Melbourne, arrive and kiss up to Andrew and his Lovely Wife, but he doesn't like them.  

He does like Hong Kong's most eligible bachelor, David Ho (Justin Chien, left). Maybe he's.....

Confused by the plethora of names?  Don't worry; all you really need to know is that everyone is very rich, very bored, and heterosexual.  

Back story: the family from Scene 2 are Christopher and Fiona Hext.  This is their yacht.  Wait -- everyone is here to impress them.  Why are they concerned about the day going well?  Spoiler alert: they're having financial problems.

Sceme 4: Cola is introduced to the Hext Family.  "How nice to see some new faces!" Fiona Hext exclaims.

Cola is turned on by a semi-shirtlessC hunk with his lady, but Carrie warns her: "God, no, that's Matthias! Just a personal trainer, not rich.  Ignore." Heterosexual identity established at Minute 11.

Left: Lincoln Younes plays Matthias the Personal Trainer, Gigolo, Drug Dealer, and Actor.

Dirt on the Hexts: "Christopher's family practically invented colonialism, and Fiona's Old Hong Kong money fueled it."  

Scene 5: Eligible Bachelor is helping the Captain pilot the ship.  Christopher Hext takes over and asks how things are going since the divorce.  It must be rough.  After all, he and Lian were together for 13 years. Don't get your hopes up -- Lian can be used for any gender, but 2/3rds of the time, it's a girl.  And gay marriage is not permitted in Hong Kong, so he would have to establish residence somewhere else if Lian was a guy.

"You're right, I'm miserable.  How are you doing?"

"Miserable, too."  

More after the break

Sam Li: Frank's victim in "Always Sunny," a lawyer, two students, a gangster's brother, tells his mom "It's not a phase." With some Chinese cocks

 

In It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Episode 18.1, Dennis, Dee, and Mac sit in on a psychology class at the University of Pennsylvania, to prove that they could have succeeded.  Meanwhile, Frank grabs a random student named Jie to fulfill his Back to School fantasy: take a dump in the dean's office (they're interrupted), pick up girls at a frat party (they're not impressed by the dance moves Frank teaches Jie), and jump off the high dive at the pool. Wearing a shirt, but a glimpse of a bulge in his swimsuit.

In Back to School (1986), crass comedian Rodney Dangerfield enrolls at his son Jason's college, and encourages him to do those things, including show a monumental bulge in his swim suit. Jason (Keith Gordon, right) completes the high dive, but Jie does not.

The actor playing Jie is not in the cast list on the IMDB, and Google Ai doesn't know who he is, but Bloody Disgusting says that he is Sam Song Li.  Verified when the guy includes a Sunny clip on his Instagram.

Sam was born in 1996 in Shenzen, Guangdong Province, just north of Hong Kong, and raised in Southern California. He graduated with a degree in Performing Arts from UC Berkeley, and began on-screen acting in 2015.  He doesn't seem to have any major acting roles, so I'll just go by what he lists as "famous for":

A 2022 episode of Better Call Saul, with Bob Odenkirk as the sleazy attorney from Breaking Bad.  He plays Cary, a lawyer who joins Hamlin, Hamlin, and McGill after Chuck McGill's death.  His part in the episode seems to involve dropping cans of soda, and being taught how to avoid them exploding due to the carbon dioxide pressure.

A 2022 episode of Home Economics, about three siblings, rich straight male (Jimmy Tatro, left), an entrepreneur; middle-class straight male (Topher Grace), a writer; and poor lesbian (Caitlyn McGee), a teacher.  In Sam's episode, the writer struggles to finish his book before his 40th birthday, while his siblings agonize over what gift to buy him.  Sam plays one of the students in his writing class.

A 2023 episode of Never Have I Ever, with an Indian-American girl negotiating crushes and her heritage. In "Never Have I Ever Been to Jersey," Devi takes a school field trip to New York, and meets Columbia University student Anton (Sam).  The plot synopsis doesn't mention if they do romantic stuff.

8 episodes of The Brothers Sun (2024).  Taiwanese gangster Charles Sun (Justin Chien) goes to Los Angeles to protect his mother and younger brother Bruce (Sam). It's classified as a comedy, but there's drug-dealing, kidnapping, and murder.  No girlfriendsd are mentioned in the plot synopsis.

More after the break.  Caution: Explicit

Fresh Off the Boat Episode 3.2: Musclemen flex, Walter is homophobic, Evan finds a new boyfriend, and Eddie is traumatized by cocks.

Since identifying Hudson Yang as "probably gay," I've been going through his tv series, Fresh Off the Boat, about a "fresh off the boat" Taiwanese-American family in the 1990s.  There are a number of recurring gay characters, but I'm looking for gay texts and subtexts among the sons, Eddie, Emery, and Evan.  Episode 3.2, "Breaking Chains" (2016) has some, plus beefcake and homophobia.

I'm skipping the A Plot, where Dad Louis (Randall Park) hires a housekeeper, thus insulting his wife Jessica, who thinks that he thinks she is a failure as a woman (because her gender identity is based on her ability to clean up?) 

In the B Plot, Eddie (Hudson Yang) and his friends are about to enter eighth grade, so they'll need either great gear or great stories.

Trent (Trevor Larcom) has great gear: he went to a theme park and got a scrunchie depicting the mascot.

Walter (Prophet Bolden) tells him that it "looks like a gay raindrop." 

 Homophobic comment, buddy.

Brian (Dash Williams) has a great story: he had mono, so he stayed inside watching Cinemax.  Now he knows a lot about boobs, and wants to become a pizza delivery boy.  Ugh, heteronormative girl-craziness.

Dave (Evan Hanneman) argues they don't need gear or stories, because they'll be eighth graders, practically upperclassmen.  Eddie (Hudson Yang) agrees: "We'll be men among boys!"  Sounds like their middle school covers grades 7-9, and high school grades 10-12.

Cut to a fantasy of the guys as grown-up musclemen flexing and grinning. I count six girls and one boy swooning over them -- but the one boy acknowledges the existence of LGBT people. 

Eddie's brother Emery is also impressed.  He gasps, "Who are those MEN?"

"Nah, son," Adult Eddie answers.  "We're eighth graders."

Ok, two boys are swooning over the musclemen.

In case you were wondering, Trent becomes Chris Kimball (below); Walter, Cleveland Berto, Dave, Colin Owens; and Eddie, Chen Tang (left)

Some dicks after the break

Hudson Yang: From "Fresh Off the Boat" to Harvard, cooking, dudes, and the best gay comedy of the year. With Hudson and Xu bedroom stuff

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