Good Cop/Bad Cop dropped on Amazon Prime, but instead of the "you're arrogant!" will-they-or-won't-they hetero-duo investigating the murder, it's a brother and sister. So maybe one of them will be gay. I'm reviewing Episode 1.3, about a high school quarterback's murder, which leads to "dark secrets" being revealed. "Dark secrets" often involve being gay, so that's two gay prospects.
Scene 1: Eden Vale Town Square, October 11th. The team, Henry (Luke Cook, left and below), his sister, and an elderly guy named Glen (Robert Coleby), investigates a body -- brought from somewhere else for them to find. Psych! It's a first aid dummy, sent by rival high school football team Birch Creek to taunt the home team, Eden Vale.
"Not exactly 'The Case of the Speckled Band,'" Henry says, but they aren't familiar with Sherlock Holmes. Sister Lou wants to discuss the prospects of the Eden Vale high school football team -- they just got a new QB (quarter back) in from Texas, so he's bound to be great. Do people other than students and parents follow high school football?
Henry isn't interested in sports. She scoffs. "No wonder you sat by yourself at lunch." Lack of interest in sports is a queer code.
Then she wants to race him to the police station, but he refuses. So they're the unrestrained id and overcautious superego pair of most buddy comedies.
Scene 2: A restaurant called The Old Place. As they drink Coca-Cola from bottles, Chubby Guy (Dan Illic) asks the Hired Muscle (either Tyler Coppin or Jack Ellis), "Do you come here often?" Outdated pickup line, buddy.
Chubby Guy brought a photo of the new high school QB, Jake Wilson -- "I want him gone -- not dead, just gone." The bad guy is sneezing. This will become important later.
Cut to the cheerleaders (got to meet that heterosexual male gaze) and then the team practicing. QB takes off his helmet, to the girls gawking. His teammate found a photo taked to his locker: he is asleep in bed (nice beefcake), with the note: "Leave town, or you'll sleep forever!" Isn't the town he lives in up to his parents?
"It's nothing, just a bad joke."
QB is played by Alex Champion De Crespigny, who is not a 17th century nobleman in the court of the Sun King. According to his aggressivly self-congratulatory profile on the IMDB, he started his career as the most successful journalist in Australia before studying at NIDA and becoming the most famous Australian actor since Hugh Jackman.
He has seven acting credits listed on the IMDB, all in tv series that became massive hits due to his massive ego...um, I mean talent. He's also a writer, director, producer, model, superhero, and demigod, and he has a 10 inch dick.
Scene 3: An elderly woman says in Russian ,"If I can't dance, I'd rather be dead!" She's quoting her ballet instructor as she preps the dancers for the best recital in town history.
Wait -- just one dancer, who points out that tonight is the Big Game, so no one will come to the recital. Not even the dancers.
"Tough, we're still doing the show, just you and me. It will be great."
Scene 4: At the police station, Sister Lou has two announcements. First, Henry is buying lunch. Officer Szczepkowski asks his female coworker, "Is today the day I try calamari?"
She says "no" in a nasty tone, with a disgusted expression. Was he asking to have sex with her?
Cop Bradley (Scott Lee) is wearing his high school letterman's jacket to support the team. He calls Henry "brother from another mother," but Henry shoots him down. He hates humans, and human relationships of any type.
Second announcment: Officer Szcz (William McKenna) has been on the force for three months, so he's ready for a solo call!
But it's just a domestic thing: "The annoying San Francisco couple on Park Ridge found something concerning in their yard." San Francisco -- euphemism for gay? No, it's a man-woman couple, just annoying because they're elitist.
Scene 5: Officer Szcz is nervous, so he insists that his Female Coworker come along on the call. Wait -- she treated him with disgust and contempt before, and now she's helping him?
They found human bones! "Do you think this will delay the completion of our swimming pool?" Har har, but nitpick -- no one in a northern state builds a swimming pool in October.
Cut to the station, where the QB's teammate, Mark, has reported the "Leave town, or you'll sleep forever" threat. He's sneezing as he leaves. This will be important later. Hank and Sister Lou want to work on the human remains case, but the Boss wants them on the QB Threat case.
More after the break. Caution: Explicit.
