RG Beefcake and Boyfriends: Airport Chaplain: Rebel cop...er, chaplain, job squabbles, personal angst, and eight gay guys, some with cocks (Max has two)

When Airport Chaplain (2026) popped up on my Netflix recommendations, I was curious: I didn't even know that airport chaplain was a job. Who needs pastoral counseling when they're awaiting their flight to San Diego? So we'll check out the first episode.

We open with establishing shots of an an airport. A hoodied person runs fast past Security Guard Ziv, who yells "Oi! Stop, mate!" I'm guessing this is England. (Update: It's actually Australia)

Gay Guy #1: Elias Anton (Ziv) starred with Thom Green (below) in the queer romance Of an Age (2022).

Left: Anton's backside.

Cute guy in the security station is monitoring the sitch. As the Chaplain gives money to a homeless person, he is notified of the runner and heads toward the International Terminal.

He grabs the runner -- it's just a kid -- and calls off security. The kid talks to him in Spanish -- which doesn't appear on the subtitles, darn it -- so the Chaplain runs off to the the cleaner's trolley outside the Prayer Room, grabs a plush toy, and rushes back past Border Control without getting it scanned. Border Control Johnny is hesitant, but Chaplain says it's an emergency.

Gay Guy #2: Thomas Weatherall (Johnny), played a gay high schooler on Heartbreak High.

Gay Guy #3: Hugo Weaving (the Chaplain) is best known as the drag queen Tick in Priscilla, Queen of the Desert (1994) and Elrond in the Lord of the Rings movies.

The Chaplain gets the kid to his Buenos Aires flight (the toy actually belongs to his baby sister). Problem solved. So that's what airport chaplains do. I figured they would, you know, pray with people.

I checked online: most large airports, even in the U.S., have full-time or volunteer chaplains. The fliers and their loved ones aren't just grumbling over the long lines and cancelled flights; they are often going through emotional crises, and need someone to talk to -- or pray with.

Cut to the Chaplain in his office, with a real snake, stuffed birds, and drawings from kids saying thank you for retrieving their teddy bears. He's handling the case of Nino, who needs his flight re-booked because he wasn't allowed on the plane with his pet dog. Maybe the Chaplain or his wife can look after him while he's away? (Heterosexual identity established at Minute 5).

The terminal manager comes in to complain that he was canned for poor reviews. He's old, but he doesn't want to stay home, with a wife who's always either "hot or angry." (Heterosexual identity established immediately.)

"By the way, the new Terminal Manager won't approve of rebel cops...um, I mean chaplains...who have unconventional methods and ignore the rule book."

Next, the Chaplain is called to the case of Alex Zhang, an Australian citizen returning from Shanghai. His father died on the the flight, so the passengers are understandably upset. The Chaplain calls Border Control Johnny to ensure that he gets through customs quickly, and Head Baggage Handler Lex to ensure that the body is taken to the holding area..

Gay Guy #4: Queer actor Erroll Shand (Lex) played a closeted lawyer in Outrageous Fortunes, and a gay prince in Our Flag Means Death and

The Chaplain goes down to the holding area to comfort Alex, who is on an "I'm very important!" business call. Not grieving much, are you , buddy?

He explains the procedure: get an ok from the coroner, then transport the body to a funeral home. Alex hadn't thought of that. Not on your ten-hour flight from Shanghai to Melbourne?

"So...um...were you and your father close?"

"Not really. Pardon -- work call."

"Would you like me to...um...pray for him?"

"We're Buddhist." Chaplain takes that as an invitation, and says a Buddhist prayer over the coffin.

Back to the office, where Border Security Johnny is hanging out with -- and flirting with -- Nino the Dog Guy.

Gay Guy #5: Queer actor Nicholas Denton (Nino) played gay or gay-vague characters in Dangerous Liaisons and the vampire drama Talamasca.

Chaplain has a solution to the dog problem: Crate him and transport him in the hold. It will cost an extra $2,400 ($1,700 U.S.).

"Nope, can't afford it. Besides, it would be cruel to crate him for such a long flight.

Uh-oh, Security head Sami calls Chaplain to the security room. "Why did Border Control Johnny let you take that toy through security without scanning before?"

Arka Das (Sami) seems to be straight.

"It was an emergency."

"The new Terminal Manager is hyper-vigilant. Johnny will get written up, or even fired. And by the way, I can't let you use security cams to research people's personal problems anymore. I'll get written up."

Next crisis: Alex, the one with the dead dad, is sitting at the baggage carousel, not picking up his stuff. Chaplain asks what's wrong. He starts crying.

Gay Guy #6: Max Brown (Alex Zhang) played the king's dresser on the period drama Downton Abbey. He hooks up with Rob James-Collier.

Turns out that Alex was overcome by grief earlier, and trying to distance himself with work calls. Plus Dad's body shouldn't go to the funeral home. It's a Chinese tradition to pray and say goodbye over the deceased loved one at home.

Chaplain makes the arrangements, and drives Alex home, where a young woman, an old woman, and some Buddhist nuns are ready for the prayers. Alex doesn't mention a wife or girlfriend, so the young woman must be his sister.

More gay guys after the break

Left: Max's dick (a Boymaster fake).

To drive Alex home, the Chaplain had to miss his meeting with the new Terminal Manager, and she's angry! Nothing could be more important!

Next scene: Home. The Chaplain's apartment is right by the hanger; an airplane is right there, through the window. He lives alone, but there are kids' drawings of "Happy father's day." He eats dinner to a learning-Japanese tape, then lights a candle at an altar to a young woman, and makes a phone call: "I wanted..um...I wanted to see how you were doing."

Left: Another potential Max dick

He prays for God to forgive his failings and watch over his family. Extranged wife and daughter.

In the morning, Chaplain asks Baggage Handler Lex if he's into footy tipping, which I assume means something dirty. His office is full of poop: Nino the Dog Guy slept there last night, and didn't walk his dog!

Ok, how about registering the dog as an emotional assistance animal? Now Nino is good to go. Turns out that he's just flying to Port Arthur, Tasmania, a 1 1/2 hour flight from Melbourne. "It would be cruel to cage my dog for such a long flight." The Chaplain rolls his eyes.

Then it's time for his rescheduled meeting with the Terminal Manager, a young, hard-driven woman. She lambasts him for missing the last meeting, for taking the toy through security without scanning ("it could have contained a knife or a bomb"), and asks "What is your role here?" In other words, why do we need a full-time theologian on staff, when we could easily have some clergy on call for when the occasion arises? They could even represent several religions. Why shouldn't I fire you?

"Um...ur..."

"From now on, I want a daily report of your activities. In detail."

Phone: "Sorry, someone has locked themselves in the Prayer Room. I gotta go!" He rushes out, while she stares, unable to comprehend what could possibly draw someone away from their meeting with The Very Important Terminal Manager.

It's a young woman. Before Chaplain can offer to help, she attacks. The end.

DMV: This reminds me of the tv show DMV (Department of Motor Vehicles): the fun is in the Schadenfreude, watching someone else having to endure a place that everyone hates.

Beefcake: Just a lot of cute guys, no shirtless shots.

Heterosexism: The Chaplain and the Terminal Manager both have marital problem plotlines.

Gay Characters: There's a prominent lesbian kiss in the last scene of the last episode (of course).

Border Control Johnny flirts with, or gets flirted with by, a different hunky guy in almost every episode. In Episode 2, Abe, who was caught smuggling honey in from Ethiopia, tells him: "I feel a special connection with you."

Ra Samuel (Abe) seems to be straigh=

In Episode 4, he flirts with Tai, but the dude has a girlfriend, dang it.

Gay Guy #7: This is the first on-screen role for gay actor George Oates (Tai), a recent graduate of the Queensland University of Technology,

In Episode 6, Johnny disapproves of racist, sexist, and homophobic influencer Viggo Larsen, but Viggo rather likes him.