Charlie Ritter: John Ritter's grandson? Any on-screen roles? How many nude photos does it take to get through the girl-craziness?

 


When Charlie Ritter appeared on my Instagram recommendations, I assumed that he was the grandson of John Ritter, whose Jack Tripper pretended to be gay on Three's Company in the 1970s: the first time many of us had ever heard the word.  .










Grandson Charlie is obviously straight.  There are a few guy-hugging photos, but usually he's hugging, kissing, cuddling with, and frolicking with girls! girls! girls!

Just one girl, duck-lipping or peace-signing.

Two girls, one for each arm.

Four girls, two on his arms, one grabbing his shoulders, and the other on her knees for some reason.

When he goes to a museum, he photographs the statues of naked ladies.


Here he's just sitting in a restaurant.  Presumably being photographed by a girl, but none are visible...wait, there's one on the sidewalk outside. Even while sitting in a restaurant. You have to be within twenty feet of the Eternal Feminine at all times, don't you, Chuck Baby?



Come on, this is excessive, even for the Don Juan -- Casanova -- Arthur Fonzarelli of our generation.  How could you afford all the corsages?









At least he displays a nice physique, if you can find selfie shots, without the Girls! Girls! Girls!

You haven't seen most of the hugging, kissing, grabbing, pretending to strangle, duck-lipping, hand-holding, and boob-gazing, but I have, and I need a few cocks before going on to Charlie's acting career.
















This might not be our Charlie, but I don't care.  I know where that cock has been.  Repeatedly.





















More after the break

Jacob Tierney: Former teen idol produces homophobic and gay-positive work, has a husband and two wives, but is not a sea monster.

 


As the younger generation says, "I was today years old" when I discovered that Jacob Tierney, producer of Heated Rivalry (2025), about gay hockey players, did not voice the gay sea monster in the Disney-Pixar Luca ( 2021).  That was Jacob Tremblay.  They're both gay, their names are almost identical, and I thougt that Luca came out in the 2010s, so it's an understandable mistake.

Correction: Tremblay (potential dick left) has played only girl-crazy since Luca, and there's no significant boy hugging on his social media.  He may be straight.

But I was sure that I remembered Jacob Tierney as a teen idol somewhere.






Turns out that I remember the other Jake from the creepy indie film Josh and S.A.M. (1993).  13-year old Josh (Jacob) is upset by "accusations" that he is gay, so he concocts a wild scheme to prove his straightness, including convincing his 7-year brother Sam (Noah Fleiss) that he is a cyborg.  How does having a cyborg brother make you straight? 

They go on a bizarre road trip similar to the one in Motorama, and meet The Girl (Martha Plimpton of The Goonies)


As a child star, Jacob appeared in many other Canadian movies and tv shows.  He was best known for playing 10-year old vampire hunter Max in Dracula: The Series; Greg in the teen soap Watatow; and the sarcastic Eric, who was cut after the first season of Are You Afraid of the Dark?






As a teenager he was best know for The Neon Bible (1995), based on the book by Confederacy of Dunces author John Kennedy Toole.  I thought that guy only wrote the one book, and his mom found it in his room after his death and had it published, to the protests of readers everywhere.

Back to Neon: Shy, awkward David (Jacob, Drake Bell), growing up in an awful Southern Gothic town, finds comfort in the visit of an eccentric aunt.   Critics called it "unrelentingly downbeat": "it starts off dark and gets darker."

In adulthood Jacob began writing, directing, producing, and often  starring in his own films.  He came out at some point, so we should expect some LGBT representation:

Dad (2002): After a year in Africa, Mark comes home to find his Mom schtupping his best friend (Jacob).   I guess we're not there yet.

Twist (2003): A queer (more queer) Oliver Twist set in contemporary Toronto, with Nick Stahl as Dodge (The Artful Dodger).  Here's the gay stuff, finally.

The Trotsky (2009): A Montreal high school student (Jay Baruchel) believes that he is the reincarnation of Trotsky.  He starts a revolution and kisses The Girl.  Wait, that's heterosexist...

Good Neighbors (2010): Three friends in Montreal, all straight, one a serial killer.  Hey....

He Hated Pigeons (2015): A man (Pedro Fontaine, left) drives from the north to the south end of Chile to keep a promise to a dead boyfriend.  Back to gay content.



Lovesick
(2016): Dash (Jacob, left) is depressed over losing his ex-girlfriend, until he meets The New Girl.  The gay representation didn't last long.

Another Kind of Wedding (2017).  You think it's going to be about a gay wedding, but the title is just queerbaiting.  A man (Jacob) is about to get married, when his brother (Kevin Zegers), who happens to be the bride's ex-boyfriend, shows up to try to win her back.  

More after the break

Gage Beule: South Dakota wrestler poses in singlets a lot, posts nothing else. But they are really nice singlets, plus nude guys named Gage.

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Matthew G. Taylor: Chongo, Nemesis, a god's guard, a lot of fan conventions, and some dicks

 


On a 2001 episode of Queer as Folk , Emmett (Peter Paige) decides that he wants to become "ex-gay."  To dissuade him from this crazy idea, his friends arrange for him to be visited by adult video performer Zack O'Tool, played by the super-sized-in-every-way Matthew G. Taylor (left).


















Although this is definitely a prosthetic.

Born in Burlington, Ontario, in 1973, Matt worked as a police officedr and martial artist before the acting bug hit.











Among his other early roles:

Legendary strongman Eugene Sandow in a 1998 biopic of Thomas Edison,

 A bushy-haired thug in Detroit Rock City (1999)

Medoc in The Skulls (2001), about an Ivy League secret society.






Matt's most famous role is probably Nemesis, a "huge, overpowering monster" in Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004).  His instagram is full of selfies that fans wanted to take with him at horror conventions. 








He went on to play more man-mountain characters:

Boxer Primo Carnera in Cinderella Man (2005).

A Giant in Boondock Saints II (2009)

Shackles, an "uncontrollable monster with freakish strength" on the teen adventure series Aaron Stone (2010).

A character called "Man Mountain Guard" on Lost Girl (2011).

More man mountains after the break