"English Teacher": Gay teacher, his ex-boyfriend, and his homophobic buddy face woke culture and get naked

I spent the worst year of my life teaching English at Homophobe State University in Hell, aka a far northern suburb of Houston, Texas. The minute I submitted the last of the final grades, I got in my car and drove nonstop until that blessed "You are now leaving Hell" sign was receding into the distance.

So the new Hulu series, English Teacher, about an English teacher in small town Hell...I mean Texas...piqued my interest.  I could relive how hideously horrible it was, from the safe distance of my living room a thousand miles away.

Score -- none of the promotional materials let on, but this English teacher, Evan, played by Brian Jordan Alvarez,  is gay.  Let the rampant homophobia begin.

Left: the worst place in the world

And Brian Jordan Alvarez's cock, to take your mind off the horror.

Wait -- in English Teacher, everyone knows that Evan is gay.  Not a problem.  The problem is, he's kind of a jerk.

The much more woke students want to cancel him, for instance, because he said that he couldn't understand why lesbians aren't attracted to men.  Lots of people aren't attracted to men, idjit!

In the first episode, a parent wants him fired, claiming that he turned her kid gay by kissing his then-boyfriend and current hookup, played by Jordan Firstman, in front of the class. 

Left: Jordan's dick.

More after the break

"Dad Can't Know That I'm Gay": An Abraham Gemstone Adventure, with Ash, some twink d*cks, and a special appearance by Pontius and Stacy

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Russell Posner: The incredibly cute gay teen of "The Mist" plays a politician, gets tied up, shows his dick, and vanishes. With bonus nude Morgan Spector and Jack Black

I used this photo of an incredibly well hung guy as an  illustration for my profile of the Norwegian Fire Viking.  He looks a lot like the incredibly cute Russell Posner, so I thought I would do a profile, on the off chance that they are the same person.

Turns out that the incredibly cute Russell Posner is not too easy to track down.

Famous Birthdays promises "A complete biography," but the complete biography consists of: "Canadian actor, born in 2003." 

Rotten Tomatoes adds: "began acting in commercials while in elementary school, and made his stage debut in Lost in Yonkers in 2012." When he was nine years old?

Broadway World likewise promises a "complete biography," and says only that he starred in The Mist.

His listing on We Audition says only that he's a "New York based actor" 

Trying to find him by googling "Russell Posner" and any of "high school," "college," "theater," "commercials," "Canada," and "actor" yields a guy from Florida who died at age 77 and a postdoctoral researcher in oncology.

Plus a shirtless photo of an incredibly cute guy who doesn't look like him.

Russell has 14 acting credits listed on the IMDB, beginning with the 11 year old son in Eugene! (2012), a tv movie starring Eugene Mirman.

He played the 14-year old son of  Dan Landsman (Jack Black) in The D Train (2015).  Dan is organizing a high school reunion, and tries to get the most popular guy in school, Oliver (James Marsden), to come.  They end up doing some incredibly sexy stuff, but the buns belong to Dan as he gets up from a tryst with his wife.

Next Russell played the son of a journalist who decides to research The Pirates of Somalia (2017).

Russell's most famous work to date is in The Mist (2017), based on the Stephen King novel.  I just read the plot synopsis on the fan wiki, but it sounds incredibly homophobic:

As a murderous mist descends upon the town, high school Adrian (Russell) is at a party with his girlfriend, getting bullied for being gay (wait, that doesn't...).  Later while taking refuge in a hospital, he kisses Tyler (Chris Gray), who beats him up, then relents and agrees to sex.

He is kidnapped by a psych ward patient who sees "the incredible evil" in him.  They must mean being gay.

His Dad says that he could have loved him "in spite of being gay,"  if only he were "right in the head."  In spite of?  

More after the break

The Norwegian Fire Viking: Keefe's Fire Dance double is muscular and hung, but the braggadochio and spelling errors....

In Righteous Gemstones Episode 3.3, Keefe entertains the family at Cousins' Night with a highly erotic fire dance.  A professional fire dancer taught Tony Cavalero how to use the rope darts, and stepped in when it came time to set them on fire.

The fire dancer is not listed in the IMDB cast list, so his identity remained a mystery to fans until recently, when Tony Cavalero "liked" his Instagram post about the experience.  He is Phillip Funderud, aka the Norwegian Fire Viking.  According to his professional description, he is  "a muscley circus artist/fire performer specializing in spinning and fire breathing."

It's muscular, dude.

His stunting profile says that after the Gemstones, he was hired to do fire dancing regularly on HBO shows, but nothing is listed on the IMDB.

Phillip is also a model, fitness trainer, general stunt performer, and bodybuilder (he competed for the first time at the NPR Atlantic Coast Championships in 2024, and won the True Novice award). 

There aren't many biographical details available, no home town or high school.  He speaks "a little Norwegian," so we can conclude that his parents moved to the U.S. before he was born or when he was a baby.

 Now Phillip lives in Wilmington, North Carolina.  He is heterosexual, with a wife and daughter posted in the third photo on his Instagram.  

Some of his social media posts are heterosexist.  He jokes "How we think we look shirtless (muscular), and "How women actually see us" (fat). 

But he asks, "Which do people prefer, nice shoulders or nice arms?"  Only women answer (arms), but he could be acknowledging the existence of gay men.  

And he had no problem performing as Keefe.

More after the break.  Caution: Explicit