Noah Beck: Shirtless Soccer Player, Too Soon Steve, and Jowsey's boyfriend's ex shows his d*ck to 33 million TikTok followers

Nude photos of Noah Beck have been sitting in my "to profile" folder for two months.  It's hard to get enthusiastic about profiling someone when you've never seen him in anything, and aren't even sure if he's an actor.  All I know is:

1. He appeared in a music video with the Zoey 101 gang, so there's a dick pic in the profile of Matthew Underwood.

2. He is the ex boyfriend of Harry Jowsey's boyfriend. 

That's not much to go on, but it's a really nice cock, so let's get started:

Instagram: Noah's taglines are  "Do what makes you happy" and "sideline the QB and me," so maybe he's a football player.  Or is dating a football player.

Posts show him boating, going to Disneyland, cooking, jumping on the bed, modeling a pink shirt, and telling us what he ate today (several times).

No pictures of men or women, at least not in the first two hundred posts.  That's usually a sign of gay identity, but we already know that he's gay from being Harry Jowsey's boyfriend's ex, so his Instagram is useful only for its beefcake images.

Wikipedia: Noah was born in 2001 in Peoria, Arizona, a suburb of Phoenix, about 13 miles from downtown. He graduate from the Real Salt Lake Academy, which trains professional soccer players (presumably you take academic subjects, too); then he attended University of Portland for a year before dropping out due to COVID isolaiton.

He is a content creator, specializing in dances and humorous skits, with 33 million TikTok followers.

He also owns a gender-neutral underwear brand called Iphis (top photo).  In Greek mythology, Iphis is born female but raised as a man so she can take the throne.  When she falls in love with a woman, she is horrified by the "monstrous" lesbian desire, and asks the gods to make her a "real man."  They do.  Transgender affirmation, or a paeon to universal heterosexual desire?

The IMDB: Eight acting roles. 

Some music videos.

A guy who dumps his girlfriend on an episode of Side Hustle (2021).

A shirtless soccer player who flirts with a girl on an episode of Doogie Kamealoha MD (2023).

A more substantial role on an episode of Doctor Odyssey (2025): Steve (Noah)  looks uncomfortable when his buddy invites three bikini babes into their hot tub.  Just when you conclude that he's gay, it turns out that he suffers from a disorder that makes him...um...finish at the slightest stimulus: a big problem on a date or even when trying to meet a girl.

I've been with thousands of men, again and again.  They promise the moon.

They're always coming and going, and going and coming,

And always too soon -- Madeleine Kahn in Blazing Saddles

 Fortunately, it's an easy fix with medication that the doctor prescribes.

These are all heterosexual roles, Noah. I'm starting to wonder if you're gay after all.

His Instagram tagline is a reference to the movie Sidelined: The QB and Me (2024): A high school dancer (a girl) has a "he's arrogant!" love/hate romance with a football player (Noah).  

The trailer shows her getting advice from a standard romcom gay best friend played by Drew Ray Tanner, bisexual Fangs Fogarty on Riverdale.  Plus gay actor Jake Foy is in the cast list.  So maybe there's a same-sex romance on the side.

More after the break

"The Sandman": Season 2: What happened to the beefcake and gay romance? After watching, you'll need to see some cocks

 

We're watching Season 2 of The Sandman on Netflix, based on the 75-issue Neil Gaiman comic book series.  The Sandman, aka Morpheus and the Dream of the Endless, negotiates crises with humans, various magical beings, and his siblings, whose names all begin with D (Death, Destruction, Desire) and end with "of the Endless."  

1. In Season 1, the Sandman is an otherworldly creature, dark and mysterious, who rarely intrudes upon the human realm.  He spends 50 years naked in a bottle, staring at the humans as if they are a bizarre alien species.  In Season 2, he is a jaded aristocrat who hangs out in the human realm all the time, taking cabs and paying for things.

Or look at Lucifer: in Season 1, a seductive, dangerous being with motives and desires that are impossible for humans to comprehend.   In Season 2, an elderly British aristocrat who wants to sit on the beach with a cup of tea.

2. In Season 1, the Endless are responsible for the working of the human realm.  When Dream is captured, the world falls into chaos: millions of people fall asleep and can't wake up, and others can't fall asleep at all.  In Season 2, the Endless mostly engage in partying and pranks.  The only one we see doing any actual work is Death, who escorts people to the afterlife. 

3. Season 1 has high stakes. A nightmare is running rampant in the human realm, plus an unstable guy has acquired Dream's ruby of infinite power, and changes the world, with disastrous results.  In Season 2, there's some rumbling about a prophecy, but mostly it's episodic stories, like deciding who to give the keys to Hell to after Lucifer retires, or trying to track down Dream's ex-girlfriend from 10,000 years ago (who is not interested in getting back together).

4. In Season 1, there are many gay characters.  A gay couple in the first episode.  A lesbian couple in the second.  In Episode 6, two same-sex couples emerge among the six people stuck in a diner, when they are forced to tell the truth of their situation. Plus a heterosexual liason involving job applicant Mark (Laurie Brewer, left) and the lady in charge of the company.

More after the break.  Caution: Explicit