Gemstones Episode 3.5: Two gay boys, castration anxiety, a snake handler, and a bank robbery. With Ian Winningkoff and Braxton Alexander

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Banksters: Nonbinary and gay actors play a gang of gay teenage Turkish-German interns turned bank robbers

I misread the MAX series Banksters (2025) as Banksies, devotees of the gay-positive street artist Banksy.  It's actually "based on a true story" about teenage bank robbers.  But it stars the nonbinary actor Eren M. Güvercin, who played gay characters in Druck (2018) and Eldorado: Everything the Nazis Hate (2023), so he's certainly playing a gay guy here.

Scene 1: Berlin, 2004.  A group of teenagers trade something off.  It finally gets to Yusuf (Eren, top photo) who joins his friend in a car.  Suddenly red dust explodes.

Cut to Yusuf and his little brother (Momo Ramadan, left) doing sit-ups before breakfast.  Brother retrieves a lot of cash from his various toys.  Yusuf puts it in his trunk and drives through Berlin, while listening to news stories about a series of bank robberies.

Momo, not to be confused with the Egyptian singer, looks much older than his character, and gives off a gay vibe.

He visits Baba, probably his father (Numan Acar), in a building being constructed.  Baba is delighted: "I kiss your eyes!"  But when Yusuf tries to give him some cash, he refuses, and advises, "I want you to stop this day trading."

Google AI: Day trading is the buying and selling of securities, such as stocks or options, within the same trading day to profit from small, short-term price movements. 

Scene 2:  An evening soccer game.  Suddenly a Detective arrives, plus a lot of cops in riot gear.  Continuity error: suddenly it's raining.  They wait for Yusuf to make the winning goal, and then arrest him for the bank robberies.

Scene 3: 18 months before the arrest.  Yusuf looks at a bill for 8,100 euros, draws the money out of his bank account, and pays it.  "And pretend that it comes from my father's account: Mohammed Arslan."

The bank clerk finds this suspicious, and calls for the manager to do some research.  Turns out that the 8,100 € is just for the taxes on the real amount due,120,000€!   Couldn't Yusuf still pay for some of it?  Or set up a payment plan?

Scene 4: While Dad is cooking dinner, Yusuf calls his sister into his room, and gives her the dets: Dad has already declared bankruptcy.  Then he was talked into getting a loan, and can't pay it back, and now it's all due!  Yusuf already spent all of his savings on the taxes.

They start to tell Mom, but she rushes right into the kitchen and starts groping and fondling Dad, so they change their minds.

Scene 5: In the present, Yusuf is interrogated by the arresting Detective, who does the Bad Cop routine: "You think you're tough?  You think you're smart?"  

The IMDB only lists three cast members, Eren (Yusuf), Numan (Dad), and Merlin Von Garnier (Malte, not introduced yet). Other sites list Momo Ramadan (the Little Brother), Andreas Pietschmann,  Omid Memar, Michelangelo Fortalezzi, and David Bredin (left).  I don't know which plays the Detective. 

Yusuf he calls his sister and tells her to retrieve an envelope taped underneath his desk.  It contains a business card: "Call her -- it's my lawyer, Dr. Julia Rieger."  Why would you go through the trouble of hiding her card?  Lots of people have lawyers.  

"Plus bring me some clothes and books, and don't tell Mom and Dad." In the U.S., you must notify the parents when you arrest a minor.

More after the break.. Caution: Explicit.

Skyler's Hot/Hung Photos, Part 1: Birthdays, biceps, and a Viking Satyr. Plus Asa Butterfield's junk

Skyler Gisondo is not my favorite actor.  Endless gay crumbs with no resolution as Gideon on The Righteous Gemstones, then deliberate queerbaiting as Jimmy Olsen on Superman.  But technically neither were his fault, he's cute, and up to 2025, his social media was overbrimming with gay teases, so let's look at some photos.   

1. 24th birthday, with cat, odd presents, and a bare chest.

2. That's the way I play basketball, too.

3. When gay guys have a party, they find something more interesting to do than play Monopoly.

4. Skyler starred in The Santa Clarita Diet as the boyfriend of the daughter of the zombified Sheila Hammond.  Thomas Novak played their high school principal.

5.Skyler dressed as a Viking Satyr for a competition in Wet Hot American Summer.   If you don't like eating hot peppers, I have another suggestion.

6. A more realistic Viking-Satyr costume for you to consider

More genuine Gisondo after the break. Warning: explicit.

David Naughton: The cutest guy of the Disco Era tells us to "Be a Pepper" and shows us his d*ck

 

Is this not the cutest guy you've ever seen?  Other than Wes Stern (sigh) and Adam Devine, of course.

Between 1977 and 1981, the recent University of Pennsylvania graduate David Naughton could be seen in dozens of tv commercials, prancing about in a white shirt, black vest, and bulging jeans, selling Dr. Pepper.

"I'm a Pepper -- wouldn't you like to be a Pepper, too?"

I don't like the soft drink, but the spokesman was one of my first crushes.

David's fame from the commercials led to an invitation to star in Makin' It (1979), a rip-off of Saturday Night Fever with David and Greg Antonacci as disco-dancing brothers.  He also recorded the theme song:

Makin' it, oo makin' it, I'm solid gold.

I've got the goods

They stand when I walk through the neighborhoods

I'm makin' it

"Hit tv series" was a little premature: Makin' It was canned after nine episodes.

Next came Midnight Madness (1980), with teams of college students on an all-night scavenger hunt.  David's team, the good guys, includes his younger brother (Michael J. Fox before Family Ties).  There are also teams of jocks, spoiled rich kids, and girls.  I didn't notice any gay subtexts.

But American Werewolf in London (1981) has one.

College students David and Griffin Dunne are hiking through the Scottish highlands, when they are attacked by a werewolf.  Griffin is killed, and David turns, in scenes that emphasize his physique and penis.

More after the break