"Hell of a Summer": Six gay, bi, and "not into labels" guys work together to prove that gay people don't exist. And there's a psycho-slasher.

I haven't reviewed many movies lately because I've been burned several times.  

There are promos of two men gazing longingly at each other, but it turns out that they are about to fight, not kiss.  

There are trailers with guys buddy-bonding and no girls, but when you click "play," you get five minutes of a man and woman in bed.  

There are movies starring 35 gay male actors, and every single one of them is playing a straight guy.  

For example, the summer camp psych-slasher movie Hell of a Summer (2023) just dropped on Hulu with an icon featuring three obviously gay guys staring at a bloody axe.  

When I checked the cast list, I discovered that five of the top seven male cast members are gay or bi in real life.  

Obviously this will be a movie about a group of gay guys fighting a psycho-slasher.

Time to check the trailer.

Scene 1: Jason loves Camp Pineaway so much that he returns year after year.  Now age 24, he gives a "welcome" speech to the new counselors, with the rules: no smoking, no drinking, no cell phones.

Jason is played by Fred Hechinger (top photo and icon left), who is heterosexual but played the "I'm gay but the skittish producers won't let me say so" Emperor Caracalla in Gladiator II.

Scene 2:  The campers haven't arrived yet, so the counselors party.  I don't notice any boy-girl coupling. The extremely femme Chris arrives with his boyfriend Bobby, and yells "Hey, Girl!" at a girl named Shannon.

Chris is played by Finn Wolfhard (icon right), who is "bisexual." Usually this means attracted to men and women, but apparently Finn means attracted exclusively to men but not wanting to say "gay," just in case he may be attracted to a woman in the distant future.

Boyfriend Bobby is played by Finn's real-life boyfriend Billy Bryk (left and icon center).  He is "not into labels," meaning "gay, but afraid to admit it because then people might think he was gay or something."

Finn and Billy are also the writers and directors.  This is their project.

Scene 3: Later, femme Chris kisses Shannon?  WTF?

And brags to boyfriend Bobby that he performed oral sex on her.   Why isn't the boyfriend upset?  Are you a feminine-presenting heterosexual with a gay bestie, Girlfriend?  That's a big gay tease.

Left: Two gay guys to tide you over.  This is going to get rocky.

More after the break

"English Teacher": Gay teacher, his ex-boyfriend, and his homophobic buddy face woke culture and get naked

I spent the worst year of my life teaching English at Homophobe State University in Hell, aka a far northern suburb of Houston, Texas. The minute I submitted the last of the final grades, I got in my car and drove nonstop until that blessed "You are now leaving Hell" sign was receding into the distance.

So the new Hulu series, English Teacher, about an English teacher in small town Hell...I mean Texas...piqued my interest.  I could relive how hideously horrible it was, from the safe distance of my living room a thousand miles away.

Score -- none of the promotional materials let on, but this English teacher, Evan, played by Brian Jordan Alvarez,  is gay.  Let the rampant homophobia begin.

Left: the worst place in the world

And Brian Jordan Alvarez's cock, to take your mind off the horror.

Wait -- in English Teacher, everyone knows that Evan is gay.  Not a problem.  The problem is, he's kind of a jerk.

The much more woke students want to cancel him, for instance, because he said that he couldn't understand why lesbians aren't attracted to men.  Lots of people aren't attracted to men, idjit!

In the first episode, a parent wants him fired, claiming that he turned her kid gay by kissing his then-boyfriend and current hookup, played by Jordan Firstman, in front of the class. 

Left: Jordan's dick.

More after the break

"Dad Can't Know That I'm Gay": An Abraham Gemstone Adventure, with Ash, some twink d*cks, and a special appearance by Pontius and Stacy

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Russell Posner: The incredibly cute gay teen of "The Mist" plays a politician, gets tied up, shows his dick, and vanishes. With bonus nude Morgan Spector and Jack Black

I used this photo of an incredibly well hung guy as an  illustration for my profile of the Norwegian Fire Viking.  He looks a lot like the incredibly cute Russell Posner, so I thought I would do a profile, on the off chance that they are the same person.

Turns out that the incredibly cute Russell Posner is not too easy to track down.

Famous Birthdays promises "A complete biography," but the complete biography consists of: "Canadian actor, born in 2003." 

Rotten Tomatoes adds: "began acting in commercials while in elementary school, and made his stage debut in Lost in Yonkers in 2012." When he was nine years old?

Broadway World likewise promises a "complete biography," and says only that he starred in The Mist.

His listing on We Audition says only that he's a "New York based actor" 

Trying to find him by googling "Russell Posner" and any of "high school," "college," "theater," "commercials," "Canada," and "actor" yields a guy from Florida who died at age 77 and a postdoctoral researcher in oncology.

Plus a shirtless photo of an incredibly cute guy who doesn't look like him.

Russell has 14 acting credits listed on the IMDB, beginning with the 11 year old son in Eugene! (2012), a tv movie starring Eugene Mirman.

He played the 14-year old son of  Dan Landsman (Jack Black) in The D Train (2015).  Dan is organizing a high school reunion, and tries to get the most popular guy in school, Oliver (James Marsden), to come.  They end up doing some incredibly sexy stuff, but the buns belong to Dan as he gets up from a tryst with his wife.

Next Russell played the son of a journalist who decides to research The Pirates of Somalia (2017).

Russell's most famous work to date is in The Mist (2017), based on the Stephen King novel.  I just read the plot synopsis on the fan wiki, but it sounds incredibly homophobic:

As a murderous mist descends upon the town, high school Adrian (Russell) is at a party with his girlfriend, getting bullied for being gay (wait, that doesn't...).  Later while taking refuge in a hospital, he kisses Tyler (Chris Gray), who beats him up, then relents and agrees to sex.

He is kidnapped by a psych ward patient who sees "the incredible evil" in him.  They must mean being gay.

His Dad says that he could have loved him "in spite of being gay,"  if only he were "right in the head."  In spite of?  

More after the break