RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

Gemstones Episode 4.4, Continued: Keefe in drag, Pontius with four dicks, Jasper with one, and Casper the Friendly Ghost

Previous: Gemstones Episode 4.4: Gideon is gay, Jesse jealous, and Kelvin scared. Plus a Big Dick and a play within a play

In the first part of Episode 4.4, the family gathers at the lake house Galilee Gulch, where Jesse and Kelvin hatch schemes to break up their father and his new girlfriend. We see some attempts to break them up, some d*cks and beefcake, a cute Kelvin-Keefe scene, and hints that both Gideon and Abraham are gay. Pontius next.

I forgot to post this photo of Tony in the swimming pool scene, bulge at the ready.

And this one of BJ and the nephews hanging out, with the cute attendant in the background (still can't find him on the IMDB). Abraham is shirtless, but only 16, not old enough to be a hunk. Maybe a hunkoid.

BJ is angry because he spilled his drink.

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Judy's Breakup Plan: Jesse and Kelvin have failed in their attempts to break up Eli and Lori, so Judy decides to use her "super power": the ability to incite the erotic interest of anybody. She goes to Lori's room and tries to seduce her. Lori just stands there.

Left: I didn't want to illustrate the scene with pics of Lori and Judy, so here's a Daddy by the pool.

Next she offers $500,000 to get gone. Lori sneers. "If I was in it for the money, why wouldn't I stick around for a lot more?"

Ok, so Judy orders her to break up with Eli, or she'll claim that Lori tried to rape her.

Lori glares at her. "Are we done?"

Takeaway: Judy wouldn't know that her seduction technique works on women unless she's tried it out. Add her to the ever-growing list of bi/pan Gemstones.

Keefe in Drag: Saturday night. In bed, Kelvin is distraught over the continuance of the Eli/Lori romance. Keefe asks if he can do anything to help: "Not unless you can bring my dead Mama back to life." The episode title is about Jesus rising from the dead, and the siblings worship their Mama, so....

Keefe decides on the next best thing: dress-me-ups. He puts on one of Aimee-Leigh's dresses, her wig, her glasses, and some makeup (wait -- where did he get makeup?), goes to Eli's room, and tries to haunt him: "I'm the ghost of your dead wife. Break up with Lori."

Eli doesn't respond, so Keefe crawls on top of him and starts singing Aimee-Leigh's signature song, "Misbehavin'"

Suddenly Eli and Lori awaken; everyone screams. Keefe rushes out and falls down the staircase into the parlor whereupon the Nanny, thinking that he is an intruder, pulverizes him.

"Who are you?" she shouts.

"I'm just a ghost -- a friendly ghost."

First he consorted with Hot Stuff, the Little Devil, and now he's Casper the Friendly Ghost.

More after the break

Brick: A high-tech wall traps two hetero couples, a sleazoid, and a gay villain. Plus Mathias d*ck and a lot of backsides

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The internet was all agog over pictures of Matthew Underwood's penis. I wasn't impressed. First, the guy doens't even show his face. Second, he rubs me the wrong way. I can't quite remember how.

Oh, yeah. It's that annoying smugness. It's one thing to be heterosexual -- lots of guys are. It's another to brag about it. "I'm so entirely heterosexual, I'm the most heterosexual of all heterosexuals, I can heterosexualize anywhere, anytime. Every girl wants to be with me, and every guy wants to be me."

It's not just his character: this photo came directly from Matt's Instagram, posted in 2025.

Born in "The Sunshsine State of Florida" in 1990, Matt began acting at the age of eight, and appeared on screen in some guest spots before hitting paydirt in Zoey 101 (2005-08).

Zoey (Jamie Lynn Spears) and her brother Dustin (Paul Butcher) are students at the prestigious Pacific Coast Academy, filmed on location in Malibu instead of on a sound stage. Her coterie includes:

1. Logan (Matthew Underwood), the fabulously wealthy son of a famous actor, an it-boy who is basking in the absurdly exaggerated longing of every girl who sees him. Eventually he settles down with the nerd Quinn (see, looks aren't everything).

2. Chase (Sean Flynn, left), in love with Zoey but trapped in the "friend zone." Eventually, she realizes that she is in love with him, but then she leaves him again.

2. Michael (Christopher Massey, right), mostly in charge of advising Chase to admit his feelings, although he eventually gets a girlfriend of his own.

Matt reveals that just after Zoey, when he was 19, he was sexually harassed and then assaulted by his agent. The trauma prompted him to move away from Los Angeles and retire from acting.

He returned in 2017 to direct and star in two tv pilots with Sean Flynn, playing themselves: The Magic Studio, about kids who find magic rings, and The Golden Stars, about missing award statues.

And some shorts: Time Hoppers (2018), Matt and Sebastian Cabanas in silly costumes.

The Alien (2019): Matt (playing himself) and some girls meet a classic grey.

The Unicorn Sisters (2019): Matt helps some grieving girls write poetry.

Kind of full of yourself, aren't you, Matt?

He appears with some girls in Remi (2021) and with the entire Zoey gang in the Jamie Spears music video Follow Me (2020).

Noah Beck plays an alternative Logan. No, I don't think that the penis is real.

Matt returned to the Zoey universe in Zoey 102 (2023): A struggling 32 year old film producer, Zoey is asked to be maid of honor at Quinn and Logan's wedding. It took them 14 years to get married? She also resolves her feelings for Chase. After 14 years, he's moved on, girlfriend.

Matt's social media is mostly generic, landscapes, weird jokes, boating, pictures taken with the Zoey gang. He is currently single, his last heterosexual relationship (that he told fans about) in 2015.