Spencer Lloyd: From "American Idol" to a homophobic church, with nude hockey and j/o in between

Making the rounds of nude actor photos this morning, I came across "Spencer Lloyd jerks off his hot cock."   No other photos, but this one pops up on a google search.

No one by that name is listed on IMDB, but when you dump "Spencer Lloyd" into a search engine, it wants to auto-fill with the Canadian tv series Heartland: a multi-generational soap opera set on a ranch in Alberta.  He must have appeared somewhere in the nearly 300 episodes to date -- the IMDB often omits actors. 

 

Googling "Spencer Lloyd" and "Canada" reveals a young guy, probably just out of high school, who played hockey for the Beaver Valley Nitehawks in British Columbia.  He must have done that before he broke into showbiz -- or tried to break in.

After extensive research on Instagram, Facebook, the American Idol Blog, and Fame Watcher, I have pieced together Spencer's biography.

There's no Canadian hockey or soap opera -- that's another Spencer Lloyd.  But I'm not taking the photos down.

Our Spencer Lloyd grew up in Bryant, Arkansas, population 16,688, known for its La Quinta Motor Lodge, Cotton Shed Vintage Market, and Chick-Fil-A.  

In 2013, at the age of 19, he got on a bus with 3,000 other hopefuls for American Idol auditions in Little Rock.  He made it to the first round.

In Austin he sang "Say Something" and an original song, "At the Final Judgment." Uh-oh, sounds homophobic. He made it to the second round.

In Hollywood, he sang "Ordinary Girl" in the Wild-Card.  And then got booted.

He still performs and records music occasionally. Apple Music lists several singles for sale, most recently "No Love Like Ours," released December 2023.

In March 2016, Spencer found his way to Nashville, where he signed on with Wilhemina Modeling.  This must be where the nude photo comes from.

He moved to Chicago in May 2016, and went to work as fitness instructer at Barry's Chicago. 

The j/o video after the break. Caution: explicit.

"Proper Gym Etiquette": Robert Oberst punishes the jerks you see at the gym

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"Human Discoveries" Episode 1.1: Paleolithic hunks invent underwear. With nude Zac Efron and Milo Ventimiglia

 

Human Discoveries (2019) is an animated series (available on Facebook) about a group of Paleolithic humans who discover things like fire, relationships, and underwear.  Zac Efron stars as Gary, a loveable nebbish looking for love, community, and a way to avoid getting his butt bitten. Adam Devine appears in Episode 1 as the leader of an elk community.  I reviewed the first episode, to check for gay characters or subtexts.

Scene 1:  Ugg (Paul Scheer), a bare-chested caveman, comes running out of some bushes. I'm a fan already. 

He and several other muscle guys run through the jungle, chased by a giant sabre-toothed tiger. They reach a cliff, and have to jungle-vine over it.  Bart, doesn't make it; the tiger starts eating him.  The guys make excuses to not save him.

Scene 2: Jane complains about the gender-inequality of their society: the women have to weave baskets and gather fruit, while the men get to fight the tiger that's been preying on them.

At a community meeting, Ugh admits that the tiger is still out there.  Jane raises her concerns about gender equality; Gary (Zac Efron) agrees -- why not have everyone do the job they're best at?  His  roommate Trog (Lamorne Morris, left) thinks that he just wants to impress Jane. 

Meanwhile, the elk are discussing their predicament as prey to the humans. Leader Elk (Adam Devine) complains: "Why are they cared of the tiger but not us? We weigh a thousand pounds, and have spears growing out of our heads."  

Scene 3: Night.  Gary and Jane flirt, and almost kiss, but they are interrupted by the camp guard being eaten ("Why is it starting with my feet?). 

Back in the cave, Gary disapproves of the skirts they wear while hunting -- too easy for his dick to be injured -- so he sews in some nuderwear (nice butt shot)  Trog disapproves: how can they poop with that thing on?

I know this isn't supposed to be historically accurate, but I can't help pointing out that no one in the Paleolithic Era actually lived in caves.  They lived in tents, and in some regions huts made of mammoth bones.  

Scene 4: The men go off to fight the tiger, and the women are assigned to weave baskets.  Jane starts a rebellion: they're going to fight, too. But who's going to weave the baskets?  Jane appoints an old guy who is a closet basket-weaver.  "No more hiding!" he exclaims, displaying the baskets he has hiding in "the closet."

In the wild, Gary brags about the comfort and support his new genital hammock offers.  Two of the hunters, Tristain and Bog (James Adomian, Sam Richardson) are a canonical couple: later, when the group discovers "relationships," they point out that they've been together for years. But here they just display some enthusiasm for each other's accomplishments.  

Scene 5:  The women dig holes and build scarecrows with spikes in the head, hoping that the tiger will attack and impale itself.  But when the tiger arrives, chasing the men, it is not impaled.  It approaches Gary -- who poops his pants, distracting the tiger long enough for Ugg-- to spear it.

Unfortunately, the women were so busy building the scarecrows and digging  holes that they forgot to gather any fruit to eat. So Ugg decrees that the gender-polarized work assignments will remain.

More after the break

"Bad Ideas with Adam Devine": When you need to f*k the Sadness in a hurry. With bonus buddy bulges and butts

Sometimes you need to f*k the Sadness in a hurry, and your best bet is Adam Devine.  Not (just) because of his hotness, because his stuff is always upbeat, with no hatred, no tragedy, no angst, not a lot of heteronormative mishegas, just whimsical problems, humorous braggadoccio, and homoerotic bonds. 

But you don't have time for a whole movie, or an episode of  Workaholicsor   The Righteous Gemstones. What do you do?

The reality series Bad Ideas with Adam Devine, streaming on Roku, is a perfect solution. In each episode, Adam. "the world's greatest movie star, the world's greatest lover, the guy who clearly writes his own intros," teams up with one of his comedian buddies to do something dangerous:

1. Compete in the World's Hottest Pepper Eating Contest, in the Bahamas. With Thomas Middleditch from Solar Opposites

2. Compete in a demolition derby, the Night of Destruction, at Perris Auto Speedway, near Riverside, California. With Blake Anderson from Workaholics

Blake bulging as a cop-stripper

3. Become stunt performers in a Western movie (after seven minutes of training). With Rebel Wilson from Pitch Perfect

4. Drive an ice cream truck up highway P3 in Peru, called "the Death Road" for its hairpin turns and 1000 foot drops. With Anders Holm from Workaholics

More after the break