"Bad Ideas with Adam Devine": When you need to f*k the Sadness in a hurry. With bonus buddy bulges and butts

Sometimes you need to f*k the Sadness in a hurry, and your best bet is Adam Devine.  Not (just) because of his hotness, because his stuff is always upbeat, with no hatred, no tragedy, no angst, not a lot of heteronormative mishegas, just whimsical problems, humorous braggadoccio, and homoerotic bonds. 

But you don't have time for a whole movie, or an episode of  Workaholicsor   The Righteous Gemstones. What do you do?

The reality series Bad Ideas with Adam Devine, streaming on Roku, is a perfect solution. In each episode, Adam. "the world's greatest movie star, the world's greatest lover, the guy who clearly writes his own intros," teams up with one of his comedian buddies to do something dangerous:

1. Compete in the World's Hottest Pepper Eating Contest, in the Bahamas. With Thomas Middleditch from Solar Opposites

2. Compete in a demolition derby, the Night of Destruction, at Perris Auto Speedway, near Riverside, California. With Blake Anderson from Workaholics

Blake bulging as a cop-stripper

3. Become stunt performers in a Western movie (after seven minutes of training). With Rebel Wilson from Pitch Perfect

4. Drive an ice cream truck up highway P3 in Peru, called "the Death Road" for its hairpin turns and 1000 foot drops. With Anders Holm from Workaholics

More after the break

Gemstones Episode 3.6: BJ swallows a lot, Keefe learns about hard wood, and Kelvin gets a girlfriend. With nude boxer bonus

Previous: Episode 3.5: a gay boy's bare butt, a pukka shell necklace, castration anxiety, and three random cocks

In the last episode (before the interlude), we saw the family shattered, with Judy/BJ and Kelvin/Keefe breaking up and the Montgomery boys plotting against Eli.  Now we're going to see life amid the ruins.

Title: "For Out of the Heart Come Evil Thoughts." Matthew 15:19: "For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies." We don't need to match the Gemstone with the sin: they are all guilty of false witness, lying to others or to themselves.

How to Make Things Right: BJ didn't move out, after all,  but the two are barely speaking. Judy asks what she can do to make things right. He doesn't know.  She is despondent. Remember that in 2000, she worried that she would never find anyone who would love her.  It took 18 years, but she finally found someone, and now it's over.

Gay joke: "I swallow a lot, but this may be something I can't choke down."  You just need a little practice.  Ask Keefe for some pointers. 

The Montgomery Boys Leave:  At Eli's mansion, the Montgomerys thank the family for "straightening them out."   Kelvin suggests that it happened "when we dressed them up."  That sounds like a gay reference.  

Jesse says "They're ready to fuck": their next steps should be girlfriends,  intercourse, wives and kids, the whole heterosexual trajectory.  To start them out, he gives them his monster truck, the Redeemer.

 As they drive away, Kelvin takes off his "wedding ring."  If he leaves it off, the relationship will really be over.  He'll be single again.  He puts it back on.  But maybe he is thinking of a heterosexual trajectory of his own. 

Taryn is Back: We cut to Kelvin introducing Taryn, who we last saw at Keefe's "wieners and ice cream" party, as his new assistant youth pastor.  A kid asks about Keefe, and he gets all bitchy: "He is leaving to pursue other opportunities.  Not even sure why you keep bringing that up!" -- while fiddling with his wedding ring again.  He continues to fiddle -- and look despondent -- as Taryn leads the kids in a dance. 

Paying off the Scandal:  The siblings meet with Stephen, his wife, and their lawyer.  They want $500,000 for "damages and emotional distress," or the affair goes viral.  So it's like the blackmail over Jesse's sex-and-drugs party in Season 1, but this time there's no tape.  Judy could just deny that anything happened.  She could even sue him for slander.

Martin suggests paying the money, along with an apology.  Kelvin must be wondering: if it's worth $500,000 to keep an extramarital affair under wraps, how much damage would he cause the church by coming out  -- or being outed.  He doesn't like Taryn in that way -- he doesn't like women in that way -- but what choice does he have?  

After scenes where Baby Billy and Jesse discuss the hologram Aimee-Leigh idea, and BJ stalks Stephen, Kelvin tries to find out if the relationship is really over.

The First Reconciliation Attempt:  We find Keefe working at Woodpecker's Carpentry.  Wood-pecker, har har, the first of many phallic references in this scene.  His earring, necklaces, and rings are gone -- for safety, or to keep closeted?  

Suddenly Kelvin appears. Looking around nervously, Keefe asks "Brother Kelvin, what are you doing here?" Note that he uses formal titles to reaffirm that they have broken up: they are just pastor and parishioner.  No doubt he's worried that Kelvin will out him by referencing their relationship or just being flamboyant.  Kelvin does try his usual titty-tweak, but Keefe doesn't respond.  You're broken up!  You're not allowed to take liberties anymore!

Gay joke: "Master Bishop has taught me a lot in the ways of hard wood." Tell me more about your...um...hard wood.  The odd title "Master," not used for master carpeters, led some fans to speculate that he and Keefer were involved in a BDSM relationship. 

 Wait -- how long has he worked there?  Surely it's only been a few days since the breakup.

Kelvin asks "Have you found happiness?" An odd question. Why not just ask if he likes his new job.?  Keefe says that he has, but of course he's lying.  He's busy working on a reconciliation rocking chair.  He uses the  punching gesture that straight guys sometimes use to ward off physical contact: a bro-hug would be too painful.

Apparently Kelvin expected Keefe to be crying and miserable, lost without him, like in the Season 1 breakup.  Seeing that his ex is doing ok, he becomes bitchy, denigrating the carpentry job and declaring that he's having lots of fun with Taryn: "everybody loves her...no one misses you at all." The happiness facade fails: Keefe frowns and orders him to leave. 

We cut to Judy asking Eli for the bribe money. He exclaims "Can't you children figure out your lives?" and refuses.  

Then the Montgomery Boys zoom the Redeemer into Peter's new militia compound, claiming that they stole it.  But in Episode 2, he sent goons to kill them.  When did they start working for him again?

Don't Mention Cum: BJ bursts into tears while working at his Church Welcome Center job. Jesse and his crew sympathize: Stephen has cuckolded him, taken away his power.  He needs to fight the guy, "knock his dick in the dirt, show him who is the man."  

They take him down to the basement for punching-bag training.

Top photo: Michael O'Hearn works out with boxer Paulo Costa. 

Left: Punching bag

Crash! BJ complains that he broke his wrist on the punching bag.  "It was limp already," Jesse says: his first homophobic slur ever, again suggesting that Kelvin will have trouble coming out.  The family certainly knows, but they do not want the whole church to know. 

As BJ practices his trash-talk, Jesse tells him to: "Stay focused, don't talk about cum, and show him who the fuck you are."  Good advice for a first date.

More advice and boxers after the break

"Pitch Perfect": Nerd Ben Pratt, hunk Skylar Astin, and jerk Adam Devine. What could go wrong? With nude dudes

 Pitch Perfect (2012) is comedy about dueling a capella choirs.  I didn't even know that a capella groups were a thing, but wikipedia lists dozens of them, and Music Grotto ranks the best groups (#1 is Pentatonix).  Regardless, if it's about music, there's bound to be some gay characters.  

Scene 1: An all-male a capella choir, the Barden University Treblemakers led by Bumper (Adam Devine), performs "Don't Stop the Music" at Lincoln Center, to rousing applause!  

In the booth, the judges discuss how perfect they are for the International Championship of Collegiate A Capella Groups (I want this to spell something dirty, but it doesn't), and how all the ladies in the room are hot for them.  Ugh, heterosexism in the first second: the only reason a man does anything is to get ladies.  

They perform some cool moves. Bumper does a "sexy man-split", struts for the fangirls, and insults the next group: an all-female choir.  They're the first girl group to get this far in the competition because, according to the judges, girls just don't have the range.  I think we're supposed to condemn the judges for being sexist.

Dressed like 1960s stewardesses, the Bellas sing a snoozefest song. Then one throws up.  Projectile vomiting in the first five minutes!  Yuck! The judges actually like this: it add excitement to their act.

Scene 2:  This must be a flashback.  Beca takes a taxi to move-in day at the stately, ivy-halled university.  She meets her new roommate, who hates her from the start, even more when she brings out her DJ equipment.  

Her dad drops by: Dr. Mitchell, a Professor of Comparative Literature.  I majored in that in grad school, for about ten minutes. It was stiflingly elitist. He insists that she give college a chance; she can move to California and become a dj later.

Meanwhile, the hunky Jesse  (Skylar Astin, left) meets his new roommate, Benji (Ben Platt, below), a Star Wars nerd and amateur magician.  To his credit, Jesse doesn't insult him.  (Ben Platt is gay in real life, so maybe his character is gay).

Scene 3: The Activities Fair.  Hunky Jesse tells Magician Benji that the hottest club on campus is Bumper's A Capella Group. It's what being a man is all about.  He points to where Bumper is asking passing girls if they want him to whip it out. But they're sexist jerks!

Meanwhile the head Barden Bella rejects a girl because her boobs are inadequate.  More sexist jerks!  She only wants "super-hot girls with bikini bodies who can harmonize and have perfect pitch." Her assistant suggests maybe recruiting girls who can sing, like Fat Amy (Rebel Wilson).  Yes, she calls herself that.  

Scene 4: An incredible hunk in a swimsuit is passing out fliers, but Beca ignores him.  Maybe we're supposed to conclude that she's gay?   

She stops at a booth called the Barden DJs, since she wants to be a DJ, but it's actually a group for Deaf Jews, har har.

Head Barden Bella tries to recruit her for the Bellas, but she refuses: it sounds tremendously lame. 

Meanwhile, Nerd Benji is desperate to join the Treblemakers, but Bumper says no.  But Bumper's singing changed his life!  Maybe they could hang out sometime?  Nope: "The smell of your weird is affecting my vocal chords."  Dude, pick someone who doesn't sneer all the time.  Your new roommate seems nice.  

Scene 5:  Beca finds a campus radio station that plays funky alternative music. Wait, she has a job there.  On move-in day?  Turns out that Hunk Jesse works there too.    Time for a meet-cute?  Nope, she hates him. Station manager Luke (Freddie Stroma, left) tells them that, as freshmen, they can't go into the DJ booth; their job is to sort CDs.  Ugh!  

Scene 6: Dad wakes Beca up.  "You've been here a month, and still no friends?  Geez, I thought it was the next day.  "Get with the program."   "I work at the radio station?" "With those weirdos?"  He forces her to join a student club. 

She heads to the shower room (fortunately, we don't see anything.)  Surprise -- she's being stalked by the Bella Aubrey, who gets way too close as she importunes Beca to join.  Ok, ok, just get your hands off my junk!

Scene 6:  The auditions for all four a capella groups at once.  I guess you sing for all of them, and we can watch Bumper insulting more people. 

The host, Kolio (David Del Rio), specifies that this is not a high school club, where you "can sing and dance your way through any social issue or confused sexuality."  Ok, that's homophobic, claiming that gay people are "confused."   "This isn't high school, it's real life."  I get it: gay people do not exist in real life.  

The auditions are mostly awful.  I expected Beca to nail it, but she does a weird thing with clapping and a cup.  Everyone is shocked by how awful she is, but she's in anyway.  Almost everyone who auditioned gets in. 

More a capella after the break

"Isn't It Romantic?" Adam Devine and Liam Hemsworth as romcom hunks. Guess which gets the girl?

  

Since the 1990s, when movies began including gay character who weren't villains or victims, the standard romcom model gives the focus girl a gay bff.  He doesn't actually do anything gay, like check out hot guys or look for a boyfriend; he just swishes about, offering witty or catty comments and advising the girl on whether she should choose the rich jerk or the down-home boy.

Isn't It Romantic (2019) parodies the genre: under-appreciated, overweight architect Natalie (Rebel Wilson) thinks that she is unworthy of love.  Her assistant  claims that her best friend Josh (Adam Devine) is in love with her, but Natalie  doesn't believe her.   Wait -- Adam's Bumper was dating Rebel's Fat Amy in Pitch Perfect 1-2.  Way to keep it in the family, guys.  

So, Adam has corpulent girlfriends or potential girlfriends in Pitch Perfect 1-2, Isn't It Romantic, and The Righteous Gemstones (I  don't care what he told Keefe, Kelvin was dating Taryn).  And probably other works, too.  I don't have any first-hand experience, but I have heard that corpulent women are often considered unattractive.  Adam is one of the most attractive men on the planet.   Are we supposed to find the juxtaposition funny?

Back to Natalie: after being hit over the head, she awakens in a  world where everyone plays different roles, sort of like Dorothy's experience in The Wizard of Oz.   She lives in a huge upscale apartment. Everything on the street is bright and shiny.  The women are all supermodels, the men chiseled hunks (left: Hugh Sheridan as one of several "Cute Guys").  People burst into heavily choreographed songs at random movements.  The downside: Natalie can't have sex, because the scene always cuts from the kiss to the next morning.

More after the break