When I was living in West Hollywood in the mid-1990s, my friend Infinite Chazz began dating Kris, a 19-year old baby-faced ginger boy who had been in Los Angeles less than a year, but had already been in some movies and tv shows.
I'm not implying that he was Kristoffer Winters, who would go on to play Zilbor in
Dude, Where's My Car (2000) and Clayton Gallagher in
Shameless (2011-2012), and who is reputedly the boyfriend of Jeremy Renner.
This Kris, whoever he was, soon broke up with Infinite Chazz, but we all stayed friends, as one does in gay communities.
Kris had just landed his first starring role, in what turned out to be a very bad
Smokey and the Bandits rip-off called
Smoke n Lightnin, about two auto mechanics named, naturally, Smoke and Lightnin (no g), who get involved in a caper involving car chases and girls.
"It's not exactly
King Lear," he admitted, "But it could lead to bigger things. And you'll never guess who my costar is -- Christopher Atkins! I had such a crush on him when I was a kid!"
We all had a crush on Christopher Atkins when he played a boy growing up on a desert island in
The Blue Lagoon (1980) -- a thoroughly heterosexist movie famous for several nude frontal shots of the tanned young actor.
More movies with frontal nudity followed, notably
A Night in Heaven (1983), about a male stripper, plus a story arc on
Dallas (1983-84).
Christopher's star had waned a bit -- now he appeared mostly in sleazy, low-budget productions like
Mortuary Academy and
Bandit Goes Country. -- and
Smoke and Lightnin. But what actor wouldn't jump at the chance to work with such an iconic star?
And maybe get a glimpse of the most famous penis of the decade.
It was a low budget movie -- three weeks of shooting at a real auto repair shop in the San Fernando Valley and a house in Mission Viejo, and then off to Florida for two weeks of shooting the Miami locations and car-chase stunts.
One day Kris invited me out to lunch, and to meet Christopher. I was sort of disappointed -- I didn't expect the lithe, tanned teenager of
Blue Lagoon, but the cragginess, long hair, and moustache was a bit too redneck. If I saw Christopher walking toward me on a dark street, I'd be worried about a gay-bashing.
But he turned out to be very friendly, very gay-positive. He knew about Infinite Chazz -- even about the nickname "Infinite" -- and asked about the date of Christopher Street West, our Pride Festival, as if he intended to come.
More after the break
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