Cobra Kai, Episode 6.3: Danny and Johnny are boyfriends? Mr. Miyagi wasn't a saint? With Tony Cavalero and some karate cocks

 

In Karate Kid, 1984, the small, scrawny Danny, trained by the saintly Mr. Miyagi, uses the Power of Love to beat the much more muscular Johnny, trained by the evil Kreese. 

Left: the butt of William Zabka, who played Johnny

The TV series Cobra Kai catches up with the former enemies 40 years later. Apparently they now run a dojo together.  I reviewed Season 6 Episode 3, because it features Tony Cavalero

Scene 1: A party, maybe a baby shower, is going on, with two teenage boys -- one might be Brandon H. Lee -- saying "I don't think I'll ever get used to that" and somebody yelling about Anthony eating all the cannolis.  She complains that he just flew in to kill someone, and has stayed for six months. So this is a crime family?

Out in the living room, a super-femme guy grabs some kind of beverage that looks like a jar of molasses, while his boyfriend complains that he's a drunk. 

Wait -- Super-Femme Johnny is the father -- Hired Killer Anthony asks if he wants a boy or a girl.  He doesn't care; he's so femme that he can relate to either. 

Uh-oh, somebody delivered a box that's ticking!  One of their enemies, maybe Silver or Kreese, must have sent a bomb!   

Back in the kitchen, everyone hears an explosion: it was pink paint for the gender-reveal!

Wait -- super-femme guy is Johnny, William Zabka from the movie.  He got swishy in his old age.  And his boyfriend must be...Danny, Ralph Macchio!

Scene 2:  In East Asia, a militarized dojang in a sculpted estate like a Hollywood drug lord.  Enemy Kreese -- Martin Kove, still sneering -- brags about the discipline of his ninjas.  Yoon, his best student, can break a board, but Sung, the rebel, can chop it in half.  For his back-talk, he is assigned to clean the toilet.

Contrast with Femme Guy's more easy-going dojo.  One of his students asks how, if they're so easy-going, they can compete in the big tournament   "They're not. They're going to get their asses kicked."  But it's all about having fun, right?

Meanwhile, Femme Guy is coaching the dojo students.  Boyfriend comes in. Femme Guy tells him that his daughter fights like a pussy.  No way they'll win the big tournament if the girls can't get their edge on.  Boyfriend is not happy with this sexism, and tells him to get them ready anyhow.

Scene 3: Boyfriend is packing up Mr. Miyagi's stuff so the Assassin can move into his room. Moving the bed, he finds a secret compartment containing a mysterious chest!

More karate cock after the break

Peder Lindell: Gay skater from Montana, gay Catholic boy, magician, zombie, and pilot, with possible Peder penis

Ok, this time I checked in advance, so I don't get tricked by another interloper on the red carpet. 

The Disney wiki lists Peder Lindell in the cast of  The Rise of the Red as Morgie, the teenage son of Morgan Le Fay from the Arthurian mythos.

The character does not appear in earlier "Descendants" movies or tv shows, but he looks like he might be gay.

Peder grew up in Northfield, Minnesota, and began acting at age 11. with a role in a stage version of On Golden Pond at the Minnesota Jungle Theater.  He went on to star in Gypsy, and then as Jason, a closeted gay student at a homophobic Catholic school, in Bare: A Pop Opera. 

Jordan Luke Gage played Jason in the West End revival.  Spoiler alert: the gay dude dies.

Peder is currently a theater arts major at Loyola Marymount University in Los Angeles.  

He has his pilot's license and certification as an Advanced Rescue Diver and Emergency First Responder.

 And he has a boyfriend and a little dog.

Of his six acting credits on the IMDB, three are shorts: 

Out of My Hands, about a boy and a gun, aired at the Catalina Film Festival.

Leak seems to be about a boy in a jar.

Scraps depicts a gay romance between skateboarders in Montana in the homophobic early 2000s.  It's the "first Montana LGBTQ skate film."

Peder penis after the break

Michael O'Hearn: barbarian, superhero, nude model, backside annihilator.

Michael O'Hearn (no connection to Brock O'Hurn) played the bodybuilder who harassed Adam on Workaholics, and for some reason didn't get cast as a member of Kelvin's God Squad.  Recently he had a gym date with Tony Cavalero: "After an intense couple of weeks of flirting online, we went at it at the gym like true barbarians."  

He specifies: "Tony brings the business in the front and the party in the back, and I don't just mean the hair."  Funny, I always thought Tony was more into oral. But when you have Michael O'Hearn behind you, who's going to say no?

Tony returns the compliment: "Honored to have you annihilate my back!  Such a blast bustin' some smut with you."  How many ways can you make a gym workout sound like sex?

You might not  want to see Mike's first star vehicle, Barbarian (2003): "An ancient land suffocates in the shadow of evil. A dark lord rules unopposed. One warrior will become legend. He is the Barbarian... the last great warrior king."  Did anyone actually write a script, or did they watch a 1980s sword-and-sorcery movie and say "Here -- act this out."

The Keeper of Time (2004) is more of the same, with characters named Bullrock, Anu, Udo...and Daniel? 

Then Mike moved into comedy, with roles on Workaholics, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Lab Rats, Mighty Meds, and Epic Rap Battles of History.  Plus he performed on two seasons of American Gladiators, the beefcake game show, as Thor and Titan.

But his main career is in bodybuilding and modeling. 4 time Mr. Universe, 7 time Fitness Nake Model of the Year, 470 magazine covers.  Plus the cover model for Topaz romance novels.

And a lot of humorous instagram posts.

I do the same thing.  Leg day?  What's leg day?

Super bulge from when Mike played a Superman parody.

Hulked out for American Gladiators.  

Mike's size after the break