Giovanni Ribisi: Cute on "Friends," then all dreary, depressing, homophobic art-house movies. At least he shows his d*ck

 


I first saw Giovanni Ribisi on Friends, where he had a recurring role as Phoebe's cute, naive younger brother Frank (1995-2003).  Nice biceps, buddy.

His plotlines were extensively heterosexist -- it was Friends, after all.   Eventually he falls in love with a much older woman (Debra Jo Rupp of That 70s Show), and asks Phoebe to be the surrogate mother for his child.











But the 21-year old actor, son of a talent agent and a musician, had been on screen since he was 9 years old, with recurring roles in The New Leave It to Beaver, Davis Rules, My Two Dads, The Wonder Years, and Family Album, and guest shots practically everywhere.

Here Teddy and Boz (Giovanni, Stephen Dorff) rib their "dateless amigo" Bud Bundy on a 1989 episode of Married With Children. 




As a young adult, Giovanni had a lean, rugged frame and a handsome but quirky face.  I got such a strong gay vibe that I expected a lot of gay characters or subtexts in his work.  Instead, he played a lot of brooding, depressed heterosexuals in art-house movies: 

SubUrbia (1996): a group of teens in small-town Austin, Texas (of all places) experience angst and want to escape.   Nice physique, buddy

Lost Highway (1997):  A neo-noir by David Lynch, so of course it makes no sense.  No men show their stuff, as one expects from Mr. Lynch, but there are lots of lady parts.






First Love, Last Rites (1997): Two Generation X-ers, Giovanni and a girl, do bedroom stuff and are bored.  

Nice backside, buddy.

Scotch and Milk (1998): Written, directed, and starring Adam Goldberg: "A brooding self-styled swinger loses himself in booze and night clubbing amongst similar other men. Meanwhile he pines for the woman he really loves."  In spite of the gay tease, there aren't any gay characters.  Giovanni plays his friend.




More after the break




And his resume goes on like that, movie after movie that few people outside the art house circuit have seen, featuring brooding, depressed heterosexual men, with an occasional mainstream title, like Gone in Sixty Seconds and Avatar.

A few gay roles:

The obnoxious soldier Levi Kendall in Basic (2003).

The creepy Donny, who kidnaps the talking teddy bear, in the execrable Ted  movies (2012, 2015).  













A Million Little Pieces (2018), written and directed by Sam Taylor-Johnston and starring her husband, Aaron Taylor-Johnston, as a drug addict who checks into rehab to brood and get brutalized by other patients and the staff.  Giovanni is trying to win an award for the most offensive homophobic stereotype, swishy, limp-wristed, and lisping, but still a predator who tries to grab every male member in sight.  

Here he and Aaron get into...um...a disagreement about whether they should become boyfriends

I have an Aaron Taylor-Johnson profile on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.  He's also homophobic. I wonder if it's the same person with a name change, or spelled wrong.

Giovanni's television roles are not much better.




My Name is Earl (2005-2008):  He plays Ralph Mariano, an old buddy of Earl's who reappears and asks him to resume his life of crime. They have a combative relationship with the implication of previous homoerotic activity.  (And he appears in his underwear).








Dads (2013-14):  Giovanni and fellow "Gay men are disgusting!" aficionado Seth Green play heterosexual life partners whose dads move in with them.

Sneaky Pete (2015-19): A con man on the run from gangsters takes on the identity of his prison cell mate, Pete.  A gay character named Valerie appears in four episodes.



Giovanni has no Instagram, but according to his wikipedia, he's been married a number of times, and has some kids.  

He's also a Scientologist, which may explain a few things.

Here's a photo of Giovanni lifting a water bottle.



Where did I get the idea that this guy was gay, or an ally?


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