"The Way Home": Witchcraft, demonic beings, and curses are promised, family drama is delivered. With Sharma's abs and MacPherson's penis.

 I love time travel stories, so I was drawn to The Way Home (2025-) on Netflix:  "three generations of women have a time travel adventure."  Besides, the cover icon depicted a cute guy who turned out to be Al Mukadam, Neel on Ghosts.  If he takes his shirt off, I'm in.

Scene 1: Port Haven, Nova Scotia, 1816. A woman runs through the woods at night, chased by villagers with torches yelling "Get the witch!"  There were no witchcraft trials in Canada.  She comes to the lake and jumps in.

Scene 2:  Minneapolis, present day.  At an assembly, a high school student is singing "Crazy," by Patsy Cline (1961).

I'm crazy for feeling so lonely
Crazy for feeling so blue

What high schooler has even heard of that song?  Why not something contemporary, unless it's relevant to the story?

Alice waits backstage, anxiously peering out at men in suits milling through the crowd.  No doubt government agents wanting to weaponize her witchcraft powers.

When it's her turn, she goes onto the stage, but sees the men in suits and runs away, pulling a fire alarm to throw them off the trail.

Scene 3: Mom arrives at the school.  Turns out that one of the suit guys is Alice's Dad (Al Mukadam).  The other was a random parent in the audience, put in as a misdirection.  So why was she so scared of her father that she ran away?  

Left: Eventually we'll meet Dad as a teenager, played by Siddharth Sharma.

More back story: the parents are divorced (no doubt so they can get back together). and Mom just lost her job as a reporter.

Dad offers to pay the fine for setting off the fire alarm, and make "another generous donation" to the school, but it's too late: Alice is constantly causing trouble, and this is the last straw.  She's expelled.  Get out. 

Scene 4: Mom and Dad call all of Alice's friends, but they don't know where she is.  She's been "running with a different crowd," no doubt a witchcraft coven.

Turns out that Alice is at home, having a pizza party with the perfectly respectful looking "different crowd."

Plot hole: She just ran out of the assembly ten minutes ago, in the middle of a school day.  How did she have time to invite a dozen people to a pizza party?  How could they make it?

Alice is hanging out with a hipster dude, whom Mom voices strong disapproval of.  He seems perfectly nice.  What's your problem?

Scene 5: Having cleared out the house, Dad returns to work, and Mom lays into Alice: "Why did you duck out on the talent show?  You are so talented!  You have such a gift!"  

She explains that she doesn't want to sing anymore, and "you're never there for me," yada yada yada.    When does the witchcraft show up?

Mom checks her mail: A letter from Del Landry in Port Haven, Nova Scotia (where the witchcraft chase in Scene 1).  No doubt something sinister, like "The Reckoning has begun!  Bring the Chosen One and three chickens for the sacrifice!"

Darn, it's just her mother, asking her to come for a visit.  Why am I writing a more interesting story in my head?

Scene 6:  Establishing shots of nowhere, Nova Scotia.  They're not just visiting, they're moving back home.  Back story: Mom lost her little brother, Jacob, at a young age. That's why she left.  I'll bet he was just sucked into a time vortex.

Left: I was right.  Young Jacob is played by Remy Smith, and Grown-up Jacob by Spencer Macpherson, who shows us his butt here and his dick after the break.

They arrive at the huge picket-fence farmhouse.  A very scary lady with a flat face and Medusa-hair meets them.  They don't hug, but she is impressed by Alice.  Inherited your witchcraft powers?

Scary Lady -- Grandma! -- is played by Andie MacDowell, best known for another time-slip movie, Groundhog Day (1993).  She's almost unrecognizable under the scary makeup.

Scene 7: While Grandma gives Alice a tour, Mom goes inside and hears her little brother laughing as his feet rush upstairs.  A ghost or just a memory? She also sees his toys and such.

Scene 8: As Alice leaves the house, she sees the gardeners working on a flower bed.  One of them (Kataem O'Connor) glares at her.  He is overwhelmed by hatred, either because he actually hates her, or because he realizes that they were meant to be together, and the relationship will be very difficult.  It's sometimes hard for actors to distinguish.

He says hello.  She flashes a look of utter disgust, and rushes back inside.  Why are you so disgusted by the thought of dating him, girl?  Because he's a mortal, and the other witches will disapprove?

Inside, Grandma is laughing.  "You did that on purpose!" Alice exclaims.  Did what, hired a cute guy?  I don't get why Alice is so upset.  

More after the break.  Caution: Explicit.

"Christmas on Cherry Lane": Three families, including a gay couple, with a big plot twist that you won't see coming

 

Christmas on Cherry Lane (2023) stars Vincent Rodriguez III, the muscular, bulging actor who specializes in family-friendly gay guys.  I figured I would watch in the background while doing other things on my laptop, but no, it requires you to pay attention.  There's a major plot twist.  I'm giving only the character names, not the actors' names.

There are three families on Cherry Lane on Christmas Eve

Family 1: John and Lizzie, who is due in two weeks,  just moved into the house, and are planning a quiet Christmas alone. They put up the tree and sing "Oh Come, All Ye Faithful," with a Hallmark Tree Trimmer ornament.  This will become important later.

Suddenly Lizzie's Mom and Dad arrive, and announce that they invited her brother and his family!  But Johnand Lizzie haven't even unpacked. Where will they put all those people?  

Left: Dad Frank 

Family 2: Regina and her friend Daisy, not shown, unpack Christmas decorations.  Her back story: she's a widow with adult children, and a boyfriend named Nelson.    

The adult kids, Winnie and Conrad, arrive in a horrible car.  Why does he keep it, now that he's making a ton of money?  Because his Uncle Ham gave it to him after Dad died. This will be important later.  

Sister Winnie doesn't have a job, except singing at open-mike nights for tips, but she'll be a famous singer one day, she says.  Mom wants her to try business school.

Mom announces that she's getting married to her Boyfriend, and she's selling the house and moving to Florida.  The adult children do not like this at all, and plot to break them up.

Family #3: Zian, left, and Mike, who works as a chef at a restaurant called Repair. They just moved into their house, too, and they're planning a Christmas Eve party tonight with twelve people.  Except contractor Quinn and his crew haven't finished remodeling the kitchen yet.  He brings them a plate of Christmas cookies, complements them on what a cute couple they are, and asks if "that famous singer" is coming to the party.  This will be important later.

Mike is freaking out.  Maybe they could move the party to the restaurant?  No, this is the first Christmas in their new house, where they're going to raise their family, so it's important to hold it here.  They walk outside and sit on lawn chairs in the cold and sing "Silent Night."  All of it.

Speaking of starting a family, the lady from the adoption agency tells them that the foster family they were placing a girl with backed out, so they're getting a child tonight -- on Christmas Eve.  With twelve people coming for a party.  Hopefully a family-friendly party.  How are they going to get a bedroom ready?

More plot complications after the break.  Spoiler alert: it's a big plot twist.