Dad throws away my Book of Cute Boys

 

Are you checking out this guy's dick, or trying to read the titles in his bookcase?

I'm reading the titles.  

I love books.  I love browsing through used bookstores, driving home from the mall with a Barnes and Noble bag beside me, checking my recommendations on Amazon.

And reading every night before turning out the light, unless I'm on a date.

Well, sometimes the guy I'm dating has a well-stocked bookcase that distracts me from the bedroom stuff.

I've been buying at least two books per week since college.  That adds up to nearly 5,000,  but actually I have only about 2,000.  Every time I move, I pare down my collection.

Where did this bibliomania start?  Maybe with my parents, who disapproved of books.  They were at best a waste of time, and more likely sinful.  The only way I could get away with reading was to claim that it was a school assignment (evidently my teachers assigned a lot of science fiction and fantasy novels).

Or maybe it's all due to a traumatic incident that happened when I was about four years old, when we were still living on Randolph Street in Garrett,  Indiana.

 I had a Little Golden Book  I couldn't read most of the words yet, but the front cover showed two boys hugging and waving.  So I called it my Book of Cute Boys.

I think it was a retelling of the Disney movie The Swiss Family Robinson (1960), starring James MacArthur (left) and Tommy Kirk. I would not see the movie or read the original novel for many years, but I could tell that it was about a family living in the jungle.

One day we were driving somewhere on a scary country road, and I was reading in the back seat (this was before car seats, or even seatbelts).  Dad yelled back, "Don't read in the car!"  

He was afraid that I would get carsick and throw up.  It happened once, but I was never allowed to read in the car again.

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Complete Savages: In 2004, a sitcom about a dad and his five macho sons fails dramatically. With Ryan Pinkston, Jake's junk, and two nude Carradines

In September 2004, ABC added Complete Savages, about a single dad raising five "savage" sons, to its Friday night TGIF schedule, expecting a hit.  Star Keith Carradine belonged to a famous showbiz dynasty (see bottom photo), Erik von Detten was a well-known teen idol, and there were many famous guest stars, including Betty White, Shelley Long, and even President George W. Bush.  Yet the ratings were awful, and it was yanked after 15 episodes, with the remaining four burned off during the summer.

Maybe Savages  didn't do well because its lead-in was the third season of Eight Simple Rules, a nuclear family sitcom left in a precarious position after the death of John Ritter, who played the Dad.  Episode 3.1 got some buzz when son Rory (Martin Spanjers) showered with guest star Sam Horrigan, but after that viewers abandoned Rules for Joan of Arcadia on CBS, and it  ended up with a dismal rank of #90

Or maybe it was because of its similarity to Quintuplets, over on Fox: Andy Richter starred as the father of five kids, including dreamy short guy Ryan Pinkston (left) and Jake McDorman (right, nude photo after the break).

Maybe it was because Savages was produced and directed by Mel Gibson, whose homophobic, racist, and anti-semitic mania was just starting to limit his box office appeal.  

Left: Mel Gibson in 1985, when he was presenting as a leatherman and the source of gay rumors.

In 2004, I was at the age where you sometimes wanted to stay home on Friday nights, but felt guilty about it, so I may have dropped in an episode or two while "not feeling well" or "having a lot of work to do."  I think that Savages failed due to its astonishingly retro premise, an assertion that hegemonic masculinity is a biological imperative, so "all" boys are naturally violent, aggressive and posturing, into sports, cars, mechanical stuff, and especially girls.  

The savages cannily personified each of the characteristics of hegemonic masculinity.

Dad Nick (Keith Carradine, left): Big Wheel, be powerful, in charge, a leader.  He worked a firefighter, along with his younger brother Jimmy (Vincent Ventrescu, top photo).

More after the break. Caution: Explicit