Travis Turner: Short Guy Brigade, gay subtexts, cutesy cartoons, Christmas romcoms, and hip-hop. With n*de photos and Drake Bell

In Final Destination: Blood Legacy (2025), a 1960s Elevator Operator encourages the soon-to-be-skewered couple to squeeze into his already overcrowded elevator, in a scene reminiscent of the "Room for one more, honey" episode of The Twilight Zone.  Then, when things start crashing, he tries to take everyone down the elevator again -- and ends up splattered. 

Look at this guy! He's shorter than Noah Bromley, who plays the evil Penny-Throwing Kid.  Of course I've got to research him.

He's Travis Turner, born in Oliver, British Columbia, in 1987,  raised in nearby Penticton in the Sylix Okangan Nation, although he doesn't mention being First Nation.  Cody Kearsley, Moose in the Riverdale series, is from Oliver also.  Maybe they knew each other.

After high school Travis painted oil rigs and sold vacuum cleaners, then moved to Vancouver to study film at Langara College.  He received his diploma in 2009.  .

He appeared in a lot of shorts in 2009-2010, such as "Henchin'," "Scars," "Snow Tramp," and "Dream a Little Dream," plus the Vancouver-based  Easter Bunny Bloodbath (2010), as one of the victims of a psycho-killer dressed as the Easter Bunny.  Here he appears in an illustration in the novelization.  There was a novelization?

Travis' first high-profile role was in a 2010 episode of Caprica, the Battlestar Galactica spin-off.  He played Ashok, a resident of a virtual world who briefly interacts with Tamara and Heracles ( Richard Harmon).

According to the IMDB, Travis is best known for Final Destination: Blood Lines (2025).

A 2024 episode of Wild Cards, a Canadian police procedural featuring a "will they or won't they" couple, Max (a lady) and Cole (Giacomo Gianniotti, left).  They investigate a missing butcher in a small town, and find a murderous cult.  Travis plays Daryl, who doesn't appear in the plot synopsis.

A 2023 episode of Upload, where you can be uploaded to a virtual afterlife when you die (if they get to your body right away).  Focus couple Nora and Nathan (Robbie Ammel) have returned to the real world, look for jobs, and discover that Nathan has a duplicate (apparently you can return to the real world multiple times).  Travis plays Tom, who does not appear in the episode synopsis.

The anime Dead Dead Demons Dededede Destruction (2024): Two high schoolers (a boy and a girl, of course) face an alien invasion.  He voices the English dub of Makato Tainuma, a boy who dresses in girls' clothes.  According to TV Tropes, he denies being gay or trans; he just wants to look cute. 

Some Assembly Required (2014-16), a Nickelodeon teencom starring Kolton Stewart as a teenager who becomes CEO of a toy company, and hires all of his friends. Travis played Aster Vanderburg, the snobbish, snarky, fashion-obsessed head of the Design Department (named after the Gilded Age Mrs. Aster).  He's gay-coded for 45 episodes before queerbaiting viewers with The Girl of His Dreams.

Most of his work has been in animation: Nils Holgerson (an adaption of the Swedish children's classic), Tobot Galaxy Detectives,  Marley & Me, Lady Jewelpet, Whisker Haven Tales with the Palace Pets....um....Littlest Pet Shop: A Smashing Birthday Party....

The others have even more embarrassing titles.

Travis has also appeared in some Christmas romcoms, like A Princess for Christmas (2011): he plays Milo, the troublemaking, holiday-hating teenage nephew that focus character Jules is saddled with as she visits the family's palace and falls in love with Sam Heighan.

A Fairly Odd Christmas (2012) is a live-action installment in the Fairly Oddparents franchise: the adult Timmy Turner (Drake Bell, right) screws up Santa Claus's Naughty/Nice list, so he has to go on a perilous journey with his friends and two elves (Travis Turner and a girl).  There's a fade-out boy-girl kiss, but not between the elves.

I may have a n*de photo of Drake Bell after the break.  Caution: Explicit.

What's It All About, Alfie? Cute/Cool Photos of Alfie Williams, with a Cher song and n*de twinks

 

Alfie Williams is not a usual candidate for cute/cool photos, since he has only four acting credits on the IMDB, and as of this writing he's only 14, too young for beefcake. But he is quite photogenic, and he and his dad Alfie Dobson maintain quite an active presence on social media, with a lot of photos to choose from.  So why not?

Don't worry, I'm posting some hunkoid beefcake.

And n*de photos of twinks (over age 18).

I'm dyiing to match Alfie with the song "What's It All About, Alfie?" by Burt Bacharach and Hal David. It was sung by Cher for the movie Alfie (1966), starring Michael Caine as a guy who has several affairs but refuses to commit, and ends up alone.

What's it all about, Alfie?
Is it just for the moment we live
What's it all about, when you sort it out, Alfie?

Are we meant to take more than we give
Or are we meant to be kind?

And if, if only fools are kind, Alfie,

Then I guess it is wise to be cruel

More after the break

James Stockdale: Disability advocate, solicitor, Caliban, gay guy who refused to make out with Dylan Llewellyn

 

I was interested in James Stockdale, the Caliban Boy from Wednesday (as well as the n*de dude on the poster behind him: a subtle sign that his character is gay?). He has no social media presence, but we can get a bio from some articles and interviews.  

He was born in 2002 in Dungannon, Northern Ireland, about an hour's drive west of Belfast.  While attending the Royal Schol Dungannon, he appeared in a number of plays at the Bardic Theater:  Joseph & His Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat, Wicked, Grease, and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

James made his film film debut in A Christmas Star (2016) as the best friend of a girl who thinks she can perform Christmas magic (of course, she can).  It also stars Robert James-Collier. 

Next came Delicate Things (2017), alongside famous Northern Ireland actor Ciarán McMenamin as a man with a dead wife...yawn

Zoo (2017) is not to be confused with We Bought a Zoo (2011), starring Matt Damon: during the bombing of Belfast in 1941, Tom (Art Parkinson), the Girl of His Dreams, and his "misfit friends" (including James) try to save a baby elephant at the zoo.  Stephen Hagen appears also.

Left: Stephen's d*ck.

Here's Looking at You, Kid (2018): Hubert (James) deals with tragedy by pretending to be a private detective.

James graduated from the Royal School Dungannon in 2020, and enrolled at Queens University in Belfast. He was nervous about living on his own: he has several disabilities, including dwarfism, a missing right hand, hip and foot deformities, and scoliosis, so daily living can be a challenge, but his experience at Queens was "brilliant."  They put him in the Elms Dorm for students with accessibility needs, and gave him a specially designed dorm room and bathroom, a parking pass, and a library aide. 

More after the break. Caution: Explicit.

My Date with Michael J. Fox. Plus Marcus and the Scary Bulgarian Bodybuilder.

Friday, July 5th:  Two days after I arrive in West Hollywood, after my terrible year in Hell-fer-Sartain, Texas, I am sitting in the human resources department at Paramount Studios, waiting to interview for a job as an administrative assistant, when Marcus comes in to drop something off.  He's my age, African-American, with very light skin, freckles, and a hairy chest.  I get his phone number.

You're probably wondering how I got a job interview two days after arriving, when one of those days was a federal holiday.  I had been applying for jobs for weeks, using my friend Tom's address and telephone number.

Saturday, July 6th: Our date, an inside tour of Paramount Studios (yes, we saw more stuff), followed by cruising at the Gold Coast and dinner at the French Quarter in West Hollywood.  He came to Los Angeles to become an actor five years ago, and has had some guest spots in tv shows and movies.

"Do you know anyone famous?" I ask with tourist zeal.

"Nobody really famous.  I mean, some guys on tv.  Robin Williams.  Tom Hulce.  I know Michael J. Fox from acting class."

I'm not impressed.  I've barely heard of Michael J. Fox -- he plays Alex P. Keaton, Reagan-loving son of liberal hippie parents on the sitcom Family Ties (1982-1989),  But I've only seen the show a few times.

Back to the Future, which will propel Michael to fame, premiered on July 3rd, but I haven't heard of it.

Marcus is a good kisser, with a nice physique and a respectable size.  But he likes nude wrestling: I have to pin him before I can go down on him.  Then he doesn't reciprocate, he just grabs me, puts me in sort of a headlock, and falls asleep.  Not my idea of a romantic evening!  

So no more dating.  But we stay friends (that's actually how we made friends in West Hollywood).

Wednesday, July 10th: I start working at Muscle and Fitness, two days a week as a "contributing editor," aka gopher.  '

Wednesday, July 17th: I meet Ivo, a stringer for the magazine, about 30 years old, a Bulgarian bodybuilder, with short brown hair, a boyish open face, massive shoulders, and slates for abs.

Saturday, July 20th: My first date with Ivo.  I'm curious about Back to the Future, the new time travel comedy starring Michael J. Fox.

"No way, man!" Ivo exclaims.  "That Mike Fox thinks he's a big deal, but he's terrible in bed.  They should call him Princess Teeny-Tiny!"

Weird coincidence!  I think.  I've been in town less than a month, and already I've met two people who know Michael J. Fox, and one of them is his ex-lover!

But Ivo is apparently better in bed -- very passionate, a top but open to doing interfemoral instead of anal -- kissing during interfemoral is a new one for me.  And open to oral -- twice before the night turns to morning, and again before breakfast.  

Sunday, July 21st: I have brunch at the French Quarter with Marcus, and tell him about my date with Ivo.

"Strange," he says.  "I'm completely out to Mike, and he's never said anything about being gay.  Sounds like Ivo is one of these celebrity name-droppers who claims to have been with everyone from Harrison Ford to Arnold Schwarzeneggar."

"But he wasn't bragging.  He got upset.  He said Michael was bad in bed and should be called Princess Teeny-Tiny."

Marcus laughs.  "Well, I don't have any information on Mike beneath the belt.  But tell you what -- he's in London right now.  When he gets back, we'll all get together, and you can ask him yourself."

Ask Michael J. Fox about his size?  I don't think so!  But it would be fun to meet him.

I date Ivo three or four more times, but his stories become more and more bizarre.

His father was the Bulgarian ambassador; he used to hang out at the White House.  

He has a degree in economics from Harvard, but turned down a professorship because he wanted to be a writer. When he returned to Bulgaria to help his cousin, he was arrested and imprisoned for six months. He has a book on his experiences coming out next year.  

Paramount is producing his screenplay about a college student who discovers that he is half-alien.  Scott Baio will be the star. They dated for awhile.

Saturday, August 3rd: Marcus and I see Back to the Future.  I'm not impressed with the heteronormative plotline.  But, he says, Michael is back in town.  Could we have lunch next Saturday?

Monday, August 5th: Ivo has me over for dinner.  While he is chopping celery, I tell him about the lunch.  He freezes, and his face turns bright red.  "Can't you ever talk about anything but Michael J. Fox?  Day after day, hour after hour, nothing but Michael J. Fox!  And now you have a date with him!"

I try to remember when I last mentioned him. "No, no, it's just a lunch.  Marcus is coming, too."

"Bah!  If you love him so much, why don't you move in with him?"

"It's just..."

"F** Mike Fox, always stealing everybody's lovers!  Well, let me tell you what happened to the last guy Mike Fox stole from me -- I cut him good!"  He stabs the air with his knife.

I am shocked -- and terrified.  Ivo is twice as strong as me, and carrying a weapon. "Fox sounds like a real jerk!" I tell him.  "I'm definitely cancelling that lunch!  Um...you know what?  I forgot to bring in the dessert -- there's a peach pie in the car.   I'll just go get it." 

 I clatter out the door and down the stairs.  

Wednesday, August 7th: He comes into the editorial office at Muscle and Fitness to drop off a story, and pretends not to know me.

Saturday, August 10th: The promised lunch with Marcus and Michael.

Marcus picks me up and drives me to a small, bare-brick cafe on Melrose.  We are just ordering drinks when Michael comes in, wearing a white shirt, buttoned down to reveal a soft smooth chest, tight bulging jeans, and sunglasses.

He's my age, short, slim, androgynous  The feminine teen idol type.

He hugs Marcus and reaches out to shake my hand, then says "What the hell" and hugs me, too.

I feel a definite bulge pressing against me.


"So, are you guys together?" Michael asks as he scans the menu.

"No," Marcus says.  "We dated once, but you know some guys can't handle ten inches."

"They just need a little practice, like that one night after acting class."  He nudges Marcus affectionately.

What night?  Did Marcus and Michael hook up?  Michael is either gay or amazingly gay-positive!

"So..I was dating another guy who claimed to know you," I say.  "Ivo the Bulgarian bodybuilder."

Michael frowns. "Doesn't ring a bell.  But you know how it is, you get a tv show, and suddenly every guy you have ever said hello to claims to be your bosom buddy."

"Or your ex-lover," Marcus adds.  But if he was making it up, why did he get so upset?

More after the break