Danny Pintauro: When the "Who's the Boss" star is outed, Hollywood turns (more) homophobic. With HIV awareness and n*de photos (of adults)

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North of North: Inuit lady, her gay bestie, some paranormal, some Inuk culture, and a lot of Inuk hunks. With Jay's junk and a bonus n*de dude

North of North (2025) appeared without warning on my Netflix list: a woman feels stifled in her tiny village in the Artic.  I can relate to that, so let's go.

Scene 1: While showering (only shoulders visible), a young woman  named Siaja explains that she's from as far north as you've ever been.  I think that's Calgary in the Western Hemisphere, and maybe Oslo in Europe.  Then much farther north than that: Ice Cove, Nunavut.  

A quirky Canadian small town and Inuit culture?  I'm there. 

Siaja has achieved the Canadian Dream, with a husband and child.  Only now husband Ting (Kelly William, top photo) is the Golden Boy of the town, and she's only known as his wife.

First up: he gets to drive the car to the Spring Festival, while she has to haul the supplies on a lame Ski-Doo (snowmobile).

Scene 2: She drops in at Mom's very nice house -- lots of windows -- and announces that because it's a new year, she's going to apply for a job.  Mom dispproves: you're a wife and mother.

Mom opens the store next door, which sells artisanal soap and miscellaneous stuff.  Suddenly her hookup from last night walks in, shirtless.  Siaja asks where he was in 1998 -- he could be her father!  He scrams.  

Mom criticizes her for scaring all of her hookups away.  How many hookups could she get in a town of about 2,000 with no tourist trade and the nearest neighbor 300 miles away?

Left: I think the Handsome Man is played by Jeff Roup. who shows his d*ck or a prosthetic here. 

Scene 3: Siaja leaves her child for Mom to babysit and heads for the town headquarters, which has a restaurant, some offices, and the radio station: DJ announces the seal hunt this afternoon and the naming of the festival king and queen this evening.

A blond woman named Helen, apparently the town mayor, comes in complaining about the 14-hour days that supervising the festival takes, while other town business just sits there.  Siaja butters her up with coffee and suggests other cultural activities spread through the year.  Didn't you just hear her?  And she wants to be hired as a full-time cultural manager. 

"Nope.  You have zero work experience and no leadership skills."

"But I see life and beauty in everything!"  At that moment, a guy walks in, wanting to know where to put the fish heads.

Scene 4: While Radio Announcer Colin (Bailey Poching) and a purple-haired woman are discussing how much partying to do tonight, Siaja comes into their office and screams.  Helen didn't even look at her job proposal.

Left: Bailey Poching is gay in real life.

"Why do you want a job anyway?"

"To make our community a better place...ok, I want something of my own."  

"But Inuit culture is all about community.  Your own needs are irrelevant."

When Helen comes in to order the others to get back to work, Siaja asks for a chance.  Couldn't you get a job, like, somewhere else?   Ok, a petition to prove that the town wants a cultural director.  500 signatures -- but that's a quarter of the town! -- by tonight!

More after the break

Blake Michael: The "Dog with a Blog" brother starts a band, stalks a teacher, vanishes into corporate. With Blake and Dano dicks

 

I haven't been watching Disney Channel programs regularly since the days of Hannah Montana, so all I heard of Dog with a Blog (2012-15) was buzz about how ridiculous the premise was: three kids discover that their dog is sentient, can talk, and actually has a blog where he discusses his experiences and tries to find other dogs.  How is that more ridiculous than a pop star pretending to be a regular girl, both daughters of a famous country-western music singer, and no one suspecting for an instant?

Critics lambasted the show for its "lackluster writing' and absence of any actual blogging, but it averaged 3 million viewers in the first season, and was nominated for three Emmies.  The main players appear to be Chloe and Avery, two tween sisters from a blended family, but there was also a teenage brother, Tyler (Blake Michael).

Plus Dad Bennett (Regan Burns) and Avery's enemy/crush (L.J. Benet), who now has abs but smiling smugly as girls in bikinis surround him. 

Besides, I haven't found any n*de photos of L.J.  But there are some of Blake.

Blake got his start in modeling at age three, and had his first on-screen role at age eight, playing a restaurant patron in Chosen (2004).  Small parts in October Road, Out of Jimmy's Head, and The Mortician followed.

He had a starring role in Lemonade Mouth (2011), which I never saw because I thought the term referred to some kind of terminal cancer.  It's actually the name of a bad that five high schoolers who start a band -- I guess disgusting names are de rigeur for rock bands.  The boys are Charlie (Blake) and Wen (Adam Hicks).  Both get girlfriends, and the remaining girl gets a boyfriend, and so on, and so on.  Heteronormativity fulfilled. 

Sorry, this is the only photo I could find where the two guys are together, not bookending the three girls.

It's a little tangential, but Adam Hicks is known as one of the Disney Channel's skateboarding dudebros on Zeke and Luther (2009-12).  His partner, Hutch Dano, has retired from acting to become a painter.

And post photos of his d*ck (after the break).

Gemstones Episode 4.7, Continued: Teenjus meets the Devil. So does Kelvin. With a gay Christian, Jordanian junk, and Dustin's d*ck

 

Previous: Gemstones Episode 4.7: Kelvin and Pontius have their nards threatened, Gideon finds his voice, and skaters show their d*cks

Earlier in the episode, we saw Eli and Lori breaking up, Kelvin hiding in his treehouse after the roundtable debacle, Judy jealous of a monkey, and Gideon finding a way to be true to himself.  Now it's time for a Baby Billy plotline.

Teenjus Meets the Devil:  The TV the studio in Goose Creek, about 30 miles from Charleston, which Baby Billy characterizes as the "middle of nowhere."  (And there is a Middle of Nowhere Bar and Grill in town). 

 Complaining about having to "babysit" his own kids,  Baby Billy directs a scene where teenage Jesus/Teenjus (Matthew Garbacz) is tempted by the Devil.  He doesn't project enough and he can't remember his line, so Baby Billy fires him and decides to play Teenjus himself.

The Devil points out that he's not a teen, but "You ain't the Devil.  It's called acting."

Tiffany and the Nanny arrive late.  He lambasts them, which upsets Tiffany: "You got time for everything but us."  She suggests that he quit the Teenjus project, so he can spend more time with the family.  They have enough money.    Nope, it's not enough, and he still needs to become famous (again).  "I been on this stardom train before, and you got to get it while you can."  The writers, directors, and showrunners don't become famous, the actors do...oh, is that why you want to play a teenager at age 70?

"Is that all that matters to you?" Tiffany asks, reflecting Lori asking if money is all Eli cares about earlier in the episode.  Baby Billy: "My job is very important to me. Now stop being difficult and take these kids to get some ice cream."  She snarls. What will he finally choose, fame or family?

An Eight Ball and $2 Million:  The Board Room.  Baby Billy yells at Judy and Jesse for cutting his Teenjus budget by 29%,   Instead of a cement factory in Goose Creek, he should be in Jordan "filming in some Muslim tombs."  

Top photo and left: Jordanian guys.

And by the way, since he's playing Teenjus now, he needs $2 million for reshoots, plus an 8-Ball (3.5 grams) of cocaine.  They scoff.

"Where's Kelvin?" he asks.  "I can usually talk some sense into him."

They're not speaking to him, after he insulted them earlier.

Now Baby Billy yells at them for squabbling, not being a family.  They should reconcile with their brother.  

That's Amber, BJ, and Baby Billy telling you to check in on Kelvin.  I suggest that you do it.

Family Visitors:  Jesse is going through Kelvin's house, looking for him.  He checks the foyer, a hallway with baseball-sized gummi bears mounted on the wall,  the bedroom, and then back to the foyer.  Nitpick: The bedroom is on the ground floor.  In Season 2, it was on the second floor.

Judy appears, claiming that she had to poop, and Kelvin's house was the closest.

They discuss how bad they feel about his debacle, how scared he looked -- and holy sh*t, Keefe is the next room, hanging upside down on a harness! "My word, family visitors!" he exclaims.

Some fans have pointed out that he's using a BDSM swing for yoga.  This is the room with the massage table -- which can double as a bondage table.  So we know what kind of games the guys play.

He brings them to the treehouse where Kelvin is hiding, but it's hopeless:  "I've tried for days.  There's no way to get up there."  

   Jesse knows a way.  A ladder? 

Cut to Kelvin lying on blankets in his tree house, eating Fiddle Faddle and Bugles and playing with his monster movie toys, when Jesse and Judy knock on the door.  They flew up in jetpacks!  

They ask why he's not going to the Night of Testimonies, the last event in the Top Christ-Following Man Contest:  "I'm not a brave, strong leader.  I'm a coward."  

"So what?  You are mean. You are extremely goodback with snitty retorts.  You can demolish Vance Simkins."

Suddenly Keefe bursts in, breaking down the door. Well, he's never used a jetpack before.

"We just put that door in," Kelvin complains.

Check out the cool prop photo of Kelvin and Keefe hugging.  It will be used as the cover of their wedding announcement.  Don't complain about spoilers, we all know that it's going to happen.

More after the break