"Department Q": Cold cases in Edinburgh, with the "Brideshead Revisited" guy, Magic Mike, and a gay dude with a tree trunk

  

A poster on a gay movie site recommended the Netflix tv series Dept Q: "an unlikely team of misfits solves cold cases."  As you probably know by now, I prefer comedies and science fiction, but there are bound to be gay characters, so let's go, Episode 1.

Scene 1: October 17, 2024. D.I Hardy, Police Officer Anderson, his Acerbic Mentor (Matthew Goode, left), and another cop go into a room where an old man has been murdered. The Acerbic Mentor makes fun of Anderson for being new and throwing up due to the smell, and being too idiotic to check for broken windows.  Suddenly a gunman rushes out of hiding and shoots them all. 

I figured Anderson would be a main character.  He was cute, darn it.

Anderson played by Angus Yellowlees, left, with Patrick McNamee in Touching the Void

Scene 2: A woman named Merritt is listening to a phone message from a maniac: "You think you're a righteous person, but you're not.  You're as evil as the rest of us." He plans to kill her soon.  

She walks through the rainy town, past Edinburgh landmarks like the City Chambers Building, and into the court, where she's a barrister, prosecuting a guy accused of pushing his wife down the stairs to her death. "You were upset because she was planning to leave you, you argued, and you flew off the handle."

He claims that he found her at the bottom of the stairs: "I didn't kill her! loved her!"  The jury is swayed, and finds him not guilty.

Later, Merritt runs into Liam (Patrick Kennedy), who points out that Defense didn't object to her line of questioning.  Why not?  Because she was digging herself into a hole.  And the Boss, who agrees: "you went too far."

Left: A Patrick Kennedy.  Probably not the right one.

Scene 3: The miraculously alive Acerbic Mentor, Carl Mock...um, I mean Morlock...er, Mork from Ork...ok, Morck -- walks past St. Mary's Cathedral to a waiting room.  Har har, he's about ready to leave, but when he sees that the psychiatrist is hot, he high-tails it into her office. 

Shrink wants him to work through the trauma of being shot, but he insists that there is no trauma: he doesn't experience emotion, except for contempt for people dumber than him, which is everyone. 

Shrink: "So, are you depressed?"  

Acerbic Mentor: "Just the usual.  Wouldn't you be depressed if you were surrounded by incompetent idjits all the time?"  Why don't you just ask her out?  She's obviously turned on by superiority complexes, and I can't take a full season of sultry looks and double entendres.

Scene 4: I guess we're going to have a full season of sultry looks and double entendres.  Acerbic Mentor leaves without a date, and walks past more Edinburgh landmarks into the police station.  Everyone stares -- they figured that after being shot, he'd be out for several months, and they'd be spared his constant insults.  

I like the bloke dressed like a 1960s Flower Child.  I wonder if he's a background player or a named character.

More after the break

Pontius Gemstone, the Boy Named Stacy, and the Erotic Alphabet. With a special appearance by Gideon Gemstone.

Stacy awoke with Pontius' arms wrapped around him, his head on Pontius' chest, and his hand cupping his butt cheek.  Pontius was aroused, rock hard, his gorgeous cock rising into the air like a flagpole!  Stacy couldn't help reaching down to stroke it.  

"Mmm...keep doing that."  His eyes still closed, Pontius took Stacy's hand and helped him squeeze harder.  

"Sorry, I didn't know you were awake."

"I try not to sleep when you're lying in my arms.  I don't want to miss any of it."  He leaned up, and they kissed, both of them hard and pressing together.

"Good morning."  Pontius' gaze was intense, yet warm, comforting, loving.  

"I love you," Stacy said.

Instead of saying "I love you" back, Pontius moved down and started sucking his cock!  "Well, this says love, doesn't it?," he thought as Pontius' tongue darted around the head, and his lips moved up and down the shaft.  Or maybe it doesn't.  It says that he likes cocks.

Suddenly Pontius leapt out of bed.  "Be right back -- gotta pee."  He bounced to the bathroom, his cock still sticking out in front of him.

 While listening to the pee-sounds  -- why was that erotic?  -- Stacy looked around the room: New dresser, desk cluttered with books and headphones, a map of the world taped to the wall, drawings of car designs, a bookcase with mostly Matchbox car models, three dusty guitars that no one had ever used, a glowing neon P.  

Pontius had replaced a poster of a bikini babe with a muscleman because Stacy asked him to, and cleared a drawer for some shirts, socks, and underwear, but it was still his room, Pontius with capital P, in the house he shared with his brother. 

They met last July, when Stacy was shot in the Gator Farm Massacre, and Pontius visited him at the hospital.  Since they, they had hung out almost every day.  

There were movies, concerts, plays, Queer Youth Game Nights. dinner at Jason's Steakhouse after church, volunteer work, a Halloween Party, Thanksgiving with Stacy's family, Christmas with the Gemstones, New Year's Eve in Myrtle Beach -- yet whenever Stacy hinted at moving in together, or getting their own place, Pontius deflected, changed the subject, or bounced out of the room, and God forbid he say "I love you."  Did he think of Stacy as a boyfriend or a buddy? 

Sound of the water running, a towel being yanked, and then Pontius rushed out of the bathroom.  How was he still aroused?  

"So, what were we talking about?"

"Me on my stomach, I think," Stacy said.

"No, on your back. I want to look at you."

More after the break

"Dad Can't Know That I'm Gay": An Abraham Gemstone Adventure, with Ash, some twink d*cks, and a special appearance by Pontius and Stacy

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Harry Jowsey: New Zealand reality star, Boyfriend Dick Podcaster, Onlyfans nude model, "Call me gay."

22-year old New Zealand-based fitness model Harry Jowsey first appeared on screen on Heartbreak Island, and gained international fame on the Netflix reality series Too Hot to Handle (2020). It was based on the Seinfeld episode "The Contest": hetero hunks and babes had to live in close quarters without hooking up.  Proven "Master of his Domain," Harry split the $100,000 prize with the other  winners.  His "smouldering s*xual tension" with some of the ladies spun him into 4 million social media followers.  

And several podcasts. In Boyfriend Material, Harry and his guests give humorous relationship advice based upon his experience of hooking up with about 200 women.

It is notable for the viral term Boyfriend Dick, based upon Harry's description of his penis: No too big, not too small, looks nice, gets the job done.

More reality tv followed: Match Me If You Can, The Amazing Race Australia, Dancing with the Stars, and Perfect Match.  

Plus the upcoming movie The Wrong Paris (2025): a woman joins a reality tv show in "Paris," thinking that she's going to France, but it's the one in Texas. The women outnumber the men in the cast three to one, but there are a few hunks: Pierson Fode, Torrance Coombs, Kaden Connors (left), and William Wilder.

Harry seems to be veering back and forth between ally and homophobe. 

In September 2021, youtuber and trans activist Nikki Dragun included a picture of him in her video "Dick."  Fans got upset: "You hooked up with a dude, man!"  

Harry had assumed that the relationship would be private, but now that it was open, he explained, Nikki Dragun is a woman.  Trans or cisgender, what's the difference.

Sounds like an ally. except in October 2021, on his Tap It podcast, he complained that "some f*ggot" was trying to hook up with him.  He was referring to makeup youtuber James Charles.  Later he apologized, and stated that he supported the LGBT community.

In 2022, Harry demonstrated his support by posting some photos wearing a dress, and fans again became irate: "That's wrong, man." 

Boyfriend dick after the break