Gemstones Future Memes: a gay resort, dog cousin's night, a nude wedding, a demon in the sack, and "Who dreamed it?"

This is a series of memes -- jokes -- featuring Kelvin and Keefe of The Righteous Gemstones and a few random hunks.  Most don't require you to have any background knowledge of the show.

1. Random nude dude

2.  The Nude Dude Review

Link to the full story

Kelvin: Coming to this gay resort was a good idea.  Keefe's going to be sorry that he missed the Nude Dude Review.  I wonder where he went.

Keefe: Threw my back out in the sauna....I knew it didn't bend that way.  Must get to Kelvin...missing the Nude Dude Review...must see dicks.

3. In French class we called them "false friends"

At a conference in Montreal, Kelvin discovers too late that Le Spectacle des Trainées does not feature hot male interns.

4. Best dog friend of a cousin

Keefe: We have to bring him to Cousin Night, Kelvin.  He's the best dog friend of a cousin.

For this one, you need to know that Kelvin started to call Keefe his boyfriend, then chickened out and said "best...dude.. .friend of a cousin"

5.  Doubtful, but you never know.

Kelvin: Keefe is a good teacher.  He's done everything: oral, anal top, anal bottom...

BJ: Anything with...

Kelvin: 69, frottage, split roasting, intefemoral...

BJ: Anything with...

Keefe: Bondage, S&M, CBT, WS, Princeton Rub...

BJ: Anything with women?

Kelvin: Gross!  No, of course not!

6. Intermission

More after the break

7. First they refuse to admit it, then they refuse to shut up about it.

Kelvin: And another funny thing Keefe does in bed is....

8. In 20 years, they'll still be studying The Kiss.

Lecturer: Notice how Keefe's hair flairs back as Kelvin begins the kiss, thus delimiting the ambiguity of the homoerotic subject vis-a-vis the structural rigidity of the dude-bro facade.  Now, returning to the ontological significance of Kelvin's glasses....

9. At least put on a jockstrap.

Kelvin: What do you mean, "not appropriate for your wedding"? I was wearing this when Keefe and I first met.  I didn't need pants then, and I don't need pants now.

10. You don't really need pants, do you?

11. Keefe was a demon in the sack

 In 2073, the widowed Kelvin visits Keefe's old Satanist friends.

Daedalus: Keefe was a pretty groovy dude, and a demon in the sack!

Cryptocore: Yeah!

Kelvin: You heard about that, huh?

This actually comes from Abe visiting his ex-wife's old hippie commune on The Simpsons.

12. The Newhart Show did it, so why not The Righteous Gemstones?

Adam DeMamp from Workaholics: It was awful, Blake!  I dreamed i was a minister who did acrobatics instead of preaching, and my Dad was that guy from Roseanne, and my uncle put me on Family Feud.  I had a hot boyfriend who I saved from Satanists, bodybuilders, and locusts, and we lived together for years, but we never had sex! Hold me!

See also:  Gemstone Season 3 Memes, Part 1: Dildos, a nice Satanist boy, a limp wrist, and what Stephen fantacizes about

Gemstone Season 3 Memes, Part 2: A bare-butt massage, plowing, posting, and what kissing is for

Gemstones Episode 3.3: Baby Billy sings forever, Kelvin can't say the word, BJ poses nude, and I'm depressed.