This is a series of memes -- jokes -- featuring Kelvin and Keefe of
The Righteous Gemstones, their friends, and a few random hunks. Most don't require you to have any background knowledge of the show.
1. The locker room is empty, so...
2. The proper terms are partner, boyfriend, and snuggle-bunny
BJ: It's Kelvin's friend
Gideon: Don't you mean dude bro?
Amber: Companion.
BJ: Best dude friend of a cousin?
Gideon: Boy toy
BJ: Kelvin's one fucking guy?
Amber: Special friend?
Gideon: Butt buddy?
BJ: His main man?
Gideon: Dude bro?
BJ: You tried that one already
Amber: His partner?
BJ: That's disrespectful to the gay community.
3. Throw in your penis, and we have a deal.
This is after the breakup:
Kelvin: Who wants to see us discuss getting back together as boyfriends while pretending that we're just work buddies to keep you guessing? No? Ok, then, who wants to see Keefe fondle my bare butt?
4. Ok, butt it is
5. Throw in your butt, and we have a deal.
6. How about giving Tony's dick a chance?
Adam: He was massaging my butt, and he was taking some liberties, 'cause when you have to show your penis on camera...
Tony: I waz just staying in character, Bro.
More after the break
7. Tiffany and Gideon "like" his posts
Kelvin: Well, time for church. Let's press foreheads.
Keefe: A forehead press? No kiss? What the fudge, dude? Your mouth has been everywhere else on my body.
Kelvin: Um...see, my family is right here...
Keefe: You know that I post on Instagram every time I suck your cock, right?
8. Random twink
9. Are we all clear on what kissing is for?Fan: Is this the moment you realized that you're gay?
Kelvin: Please, I've known since I was twelve.
Fan: Well, was it the moment you realized that you're in love with Keefe?
Kelvin: We've been together for like eons. What do you think?
Fan: Well, was it your first kiss?
Kelvin: Um...in love? Together for eons? We kiss like twenty times a day.
Fan: Then what was the kiss for?
Kelvin: Dude, if you have to ask, your boyfriend is doing it wrong.
10. It was the 1970s. Everybody was bi
Baby Billy: I told Aimee-Leigh that I was bi when I was 15. Everybody knows. It's not a big deal. Your Daddy used to take me and my boyfriend fishing.
Kelvin (sarcastic): How very nice for you.
How would you like it if it took you 30 years to figure out that you were gay, and another three to come out to your family, and the very next day your uncle casually mentioned that he was bi?
11. "Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the show?"
Kelvin and Keefe leave the tv studio after it is destroyed by a swarm of locusts
"As God is my witness, when I ordered the locusts, I thought they were flowers. Happy anniversary!"
"I don't care what they say, we're boyfriends, not girlfriends."
"So, want to stop for waffles?"
"It's not your fault. You didn't know it was St. Patrick's Day."
"Believe it or not, I've been on worse dates."
12. We all have that friend with no filter
Keefe: ...and Kelvin chafes real bad, so I bought him some sanitary wipes with aloe. They work pretty well. No more burning rectals, except when I get too aggressive during pleasures. What's new with you?
BJ: We...um...bought a new table for the foyer
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