Leonardo DiCaprio: Nude photos of Arthur Rimbaud, Howard Hughes, the Great Gatsby, and Elijah Wood's good buddy

 

I watch mostly comedy and science fiction, and Leonardo DiCaprio doesn't do much of either, so I've only seen a few of his movies: Romeo x Juliet, Inception, The Great Gatsby, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.  But I've heard of many: they win Critic Association awards, get discussed on first dates, end up on top of people's "my favorite movie" lists

He is not a beefcake star, but a surprising number of his film appearances involve nudity.

In 1994, playing Arthur Rimbaud in Total Eclipse, Leo gave us full frontal and rear shots. (Don't worry, he's over 18 here).

Rimbaud was gay, lover of established poet Paul Verlaine, and author of one of  my favorite poems, "The Drunken Boat."  But I never saw the movie because both of the poets repent, turn straight, and get girlfriends.

Playing a troubled youth in The Basketball Diaries (1995).  Leo is on the far right.

More Leo after the break

Vice Principals, Episode 3.5: Gamby dates a high school boy, and gay rumors destroy your life

 I'm reviewing Vice Principals Episode 3.5 because a casual viewing revealed a strong, if rather discomforting, gay subtext and a lot of homophobia.

Scene 1: Lee (Walton Goggins), scheming principal of North Jackson High, and his wife Christine are having dinner in a restaurant. He is being dismissive and controlling.  Suddenly Kevin Yoon (Keong Sim, below) appears -- they haven't seen him since college!  He barely acknowledges Lee while gazing with absurdly overacted "girl of my dreams" longing at Christine.  He explains: "I had a bit of a rough time in college, with the rumors, but after counseling I got my life together.  I have a wife and kids."  What rumors destroy your life and require counseling? Sexual assault of a minor?

Christine promises to "friend" him on Facebook and keep in touch, which makes Lee roil with jealousy.

Scene 2: On the way home in the car, we learn that Christine was dating Kevin Yoon, so Lee told her that he was gay, and she dumped him. Why didn't she ask Kevin about it? Maybe Lee was lying, or maybe Kevin was bi and still interested in her.  

The rumor spread around and destroyed his life. Christine is upset because "wife and kids" -- he's straight! Or bi, girlfriend.   She could have married him and had a happy life, instead of being stuck with a man she hates. This is utterly ridiculous.  Did they go to college in 1958?  Was it Hate-Gays University?  How homophobic does McBride think that American society is?

Scene 3:  Vice Principal Gamby (Danny McBride) in the high school parking lot, trying to figure out who shot him in the Season 1 finale.  Jen (Edi Patterson), a teacher with an absurdly unstable crush on him, asks him to be her date at Lee's big birthday party.  He refuses. The lesbian security guard comments that she has a nice body: "I'd fuck her."

Scene 4: The guys on exercise bikes.  Lee suggests that Gamby bring "a hot-ass woman" to his big birthday party, to make his crush jealous and get her to fall in love with him. That strategy usually works in junior high.   But Gamby has another strategy: he's going to prove that he's "a charitable man."

Scene 5: Gamby marches into the restroom, where the delinquent Robin is smoking with his buds.  Earlier he was expelled for having drugs in his locker (which Gamby planted), but now he's back, and Gamby wants to redeem him (for his own selfish ends).  He orders Robin to come to the party as his date: "you're going to show everyone there that I made a positive impact on your life and made you a better human being." 

"But I don't want to go to your stupid pedo party!"  Well, technically it's ephebophile, adult erotic interest in adolescents.

Gamby calls him a "whore," and offers to pay him. Adolescent male prostitution.  This gets worse and worse. "You will be polite, you will be cordial, and you will wear this nice outfit I bought you."

Scene 6: Before the party, Lee is ordering around the caterers and being a jackass to Christine, while she forlornly scrolls through Kevin Yoon's social media, thinking of the life she could have had if only she hadn't dumped him the moment Lee said the g-word.  Imagine that conversation: "Your boyfriend is gay." "WHAT? I'm so disgusted, I never want to see him again! Are you free tomorrow night?"

Lee catches her scrolling and shoves a pill in her mouth without her consent.  

Scene 7: Gamby arrives at Robin's slovenly hovel to pick him up for their date.  His mother is nonchalant about it. Apparently adult men often drop by the house to take Robin out on dates.  Robin isn't wearing the outfit Gamby bought him.  He lays down the law:   "If you embarrass me tonight, I will snap your fucking neck.  Now let's go have fun at this party."  Aww, they're already acting like a couple.

Scene 8:  The party.  Extremely heteronormative: the lesbian security guard is dancing with a man, and the gay-vague drama teacher is dancing with a woman. No same-sex couples, except of course Gamby and Robin:  Arm-on-back affection and calling Robin "handsome" as Gamby introduces him around.  They're really making this look like a real date. 

Robin, who appears in seven episodes, is played by Alexandra McVicker.  She transitioned after Vice Principals, so some of her other work and the VP fan wiki still list her as "Conner."  A trans woman playing a possibly-gay high school boy?  Interesting dynamic. 

Scene 9:  Lee orders Christine around; she passively-aggressively ignores him and gets drunk  Wait -- he drugged you.  If it was an opiate, you could die.   He wants to know why she is acting so weird.  Then Kevin Yoon shows up.  Lee has a fit, but Christine invited him, so he's not leaving.  Lee asks the lesbian security guard to kick him out (sorry, her name is never given, and she is not listed on the wikipedia cast list).  

So she accosts him in the bathroom and threatens to rough him up unless he leaves.

Scene 10:  Looking for a secluded spot to smoke marijuana, Robin finds the master bedroom.  Christine is there, sitting on the floor, drunk and miserable because she's married to Lee instead of Kevin Yoon.  They share a joint.  Are they going to make out to demonstrate that Robin is actually straight?

More after the break

Kelvin and Keefe, Matchmakers: A Cousin Karl Story

As Kelvin waited for Percy at one of the little blue tables outside the Lost Dog Cafe, he couldn't help flashing back to the first time they met, when Jesse hired him to design the church's executive board room.  Kelvin wasn't out to anyone yet, not even to himself, really, and seeing the flashy, unapologetic, loud-and-proud interior designer was a revelation. Percy became his best friend, and his go-to guy for anything about gay history and culture, from the Stonewall Riots to GLAAD Awards.  But today Kelvin had a different kind of request.  He wasn't sure that a guy who came out at age ten could understand.

They chatted about ordinary things, rated a few bulges, and then Kelvin got down to business. "Percy, I had an ulterior motive in inviting you to lunch today.  Remember my Cousin Karl?  You met him at the wedding reception."

"Big guy, black beard, baby face, smile that lights up the whole state?  Sure, he's hard to miss."

"He came out to Keefe and I last night."  

"Wait -- out as gay? Isn't he over 30?"

"36.  But don't look so surprised.  I was 34 when I figured it out, remember, and Karl has been even more sheltered than me.  He's known for a long time, but he thought it was just him.  He didn't know that 'gay' was a thing until he saw Keefe and I kissing one night."

"He's got a lot of catching up to do."

"Karl wants a boyfriend, but he's so soft and sweet, a little kid, really, that we don't trust him on Grindr, or Gay Christian Mingle .  And you're like the gay expert of South Carolina. You belong to every club, you know everybody, and so..."

"So you want me to play matchmaker?  Sure, glad to do it.  Off the top of my head, I can think of four or five candidates.  Let's start with Brett.  He goes to my gym -- built like a bodybuilder, chest for days! He'll be able to appreciate Karl's muscles."

First Date: The Bodybuilder

 Keefe and Kelvin were sitting on the couch in the parlor, kissing, when Percy and Karl’s date knocked on the door.  The Bodybuilder shook their hands (Kelvin forgot his name almost immediately), and Percy tried to hug them both while balancing a large white box.  "I brought tiramisu for dessert. I hope it fits with the menu.  What are we having?"

"We don't know.  Cousin Karl is cooking, and he won't let anyone in the kitchen."

"Tiramisu fits with anything, though," Keefe said.  "I'll bring it in to him." He took the box from Percy's hands and headed back into the house.

More after the break

Schitt's Creek: Quirky small town (in Canada, but don't tell anyone) has gay/bi guys and a lot of beefcake

In the Canadian sitcom Schitt's Creek (2015-20), video magnate Johnny Rose (SCTV alumnus Eugene Levy) loses his fortune to a shady business manager, and he and his former-actress wife Moira and adult children David and Alexis  are forced to move into a cheap hotel in the desolate small town of Schitt's Creek, where they try to adapt to such hardships as sharing a room and making their own beds.

They butt heads with many curious, eccentric, and passive-aggressive smiling-as-they-dump-on-you residents, like Mutt (Tim Rozon), the mayor's son, who lives in a barn and collects compost.

It reminds me a bit of Gilligan's Island, with the castaways trying to survive on a desert island, their plans to escape constantly falling through at the last moment.

Schitt's Creek is so small that it has only one hotel, restaurant, and "general store," and the same six people do everything.  But still, there's a lot going on, and the Roses throw themselves into town life, getting jobs, joining clubs, running for city council, dating -- a lot of dating.  David (Dan Levy) develops a friends-with-benefits relationship with a girl, Stevie (Emily Hampshire), who appears to be the hotel's only employee, and Alexis has a steady stream of boyfriends, like Mutt and  town veterinarian Ted (Dustin Milligan, left).

That's one of the things I like about Schitt's Creek -- it's overloaded with beefcake, hot guys in tight shirts -- or out of tight shirts -- everywhere you look.

The other thing I like is the writing.  The dialogue is witty, sardonic without being bitter.  There is no us vs. them, normal v. hicks or normal v. snobs.  Everyone has foibles, but almost everyone comes across as likeable.



What I don't like is:

1. David states that he is pansexual, and he is played by Dan Levy, who is gay, yet his relationships are exclusively heterosexual until the third season, when his ex-boyfriend Sebastian (Francois Arnaud) rolls into town. 

 Later he and Stevie get into a three-way relationship with Jake (Steve Lund, left).  

More bi/pan after the break