We're watching Modern Family in order as a comfort show in trying times. In Episode 4.12, "Misery Date," (November 15, 2012), Phil rewires the house while everyone else is gone, and announces that he has been transported to the distant year 2025 (this year!).
"Go back to 2012!" we both yell at the screen.
Wasn't 2012 great? The Middle (Axl in underwear -- sigh), Suburgatory, Raising Hope (Jimmy with his shirt off -- sigh).
Magic Mike, Pitch Perfect (Adam Devine, sigh), Paranorman (first gay character in a kids' movie).
I was teaching at a small private college with exquisite architecture and a view of the Susquehannah River, winning 5-k races, benching 185, going to gay parties, and publishing regularly.
Barack Obama was elected to a second term.
Sigh. Back to Modern Family: In one of the first of his ongoing "mistaken for gay" plotlines, Phil works out at his brother-in-law Cam's gym and accidentally makes a hookup date with Dave (Matthew Broderick), who just had a bad breakup. They go home and take their shirts off (for non-hookup reasons), but Dave decides that he isn't ready, kisses the still-oblivious Phil, and leaves. Dude, you went to a gay gym. What did you expect?
Sorry, this is not a profile of Matthew Broderick.
I was interested in the other plotline Mitchell (Jesse Tyler Ferguson) goes with his gruff, macho father Jay to buy a giant crib for the upcoming baby. When the clerk (Josh Jones) asks if he wants to have it assembled, he says no, Dad is macho, and has to do everything himself.
What about help getting it to the car? No, Dad is too macho for that, also. But the Clerk glances over and sees Jay asking for a hug from the store mascot, the Hug-a-Bunny. Okaaay
That's all, three lines. But Josh is cute (or was, in 2012), and shorter than Jesse Tyler Ferguson at 5'10", so a member of the Short Guy Brigade.
Problem: there are thousands of people named Josh Jones, including many actors, writers, and comedians (our Josh is #31 on the IMDB), so research will be rough. I'm looking forward to the challenge.
The IMDB: No biographical information, and only four acting roles:
The "Mistery Date" episode of Modern Family (2012).
The Ladder (2013), a short: a teenage boy "teeming with hormones" carries a ladder across town to reach The Girl's window.. Heteronormative! Yuck! Josh plays a soccer player.
Film Permit Police (2015): I guess it's a tv series about policing people who film without a permit. Corey Martin Craig (obvious fake left) plays a Hipster Filmmaker. Josh plays a permit violator.
We Live Baby (2020): "Summer is faking nice on Live." I have no idea -- are those people or is a season faking on life? Josh plays a Stranger.
Additional research led to a few dead ends (no, our Josh is not a British comedian, a rapper, the offensive tackle for the Seattle Seahawks, a professional fisherman, or a star of Dancing on the Ice). But I finally found of some of our Josh's social media.
And a quote from Nehemiah 9.8. Uh-oh, fundamentalist. But why Nehemiah? I don't think I ever heard the minor prophet used as sermon fodder in 20 years as a Nazarene.
Backstage:
He attended Biola University (2005-2010), a fundamentalist college about 10 miles from Anaheim, California, and got his degree in music. While in college, he sang Second Tenor in Carmina Burana and Bach's Magnificat (figures).
In addition to his tv and films, Josh has some theater credits: Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, Dracula, Willy Wonka, The Music Man, Inside the Box, Bridge of Blood, Carmen, and The Magic Flute.
Bridge of Blood is not what you think: it's about Jim Elliott being massacred...um, martyred..when he was trying to bring God's Word to the Auca Indians of Peru in 1973.
Linkedin:
Entertainment Host at Disneyland since 2023.
A Photopass Photographer in 2022-23. Josh still does freelance, $100 for an individual, $150 for a couple.
Worship Coordinator at the Refuge Community Church in Rancho Cucamonga, 2020-21. Not for political refugees: they're Pentecostals, speaking in tongues, prophesying, getting slain in the spirit, and preaching about hellfire for gays.
Admissions Director at AMTC (Actors, Models, and Talent for Christ), 2013-14. Ok, this guy is getting a little too fundamentalist, even for a profile. I'm starting to get depressed. How the heck did he accept a job on "Modern Family," knowing that both Mitchell and actor Jesse Tyler Ferguson are gay?
More after the break. Caution: Explicit.
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Instagram: Tagline "Son of the KING" (that means fundamentalist).
Here Josh gets a free book. It's exciting because it was prophesied two years ago on his "live." I grew up fundamentalist, and I still don't know what that means. But if God told me I was getting a free book in two years, I'd probably just buy it and avoid the wait.
Josh posts a number of prophesies of his own: "The King is here"; "Don't believe the lies"; "Transforming desert into paradise"; "Cars". Wait -- a prophecy about cars?
He prophesied about his big sister getting pregnant, and sure enough, she did. I assume he had nothing else to do with it.
No mention of girls anywhere on the site, which goes all the way back to 2012. I'd call that a sure sign of gay identity, except for the various Prophetic Power Conferences Josh attends.
I'm getting tired of this guy. Too many reflections of my fundamentalist childhood (and teen years), and he's not even cute anymore.
Want to see him n*de?
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I didn't think so. Here's another Josh Jones (probably) getting ready to go downtown.
And showing us what Pentecostal men do after the Wednesday night prayer service (well, at least Nazarenes did).
Bonus: Matthew Broderick's butt. I should have profiled him in the first place. At least I know he's an ally.
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