RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

In his autobiography, Green Light, Matthew McConaughey tells us that he's "tired of being talked about like that guy with a naked torso." So here's his naked torso.

He thanks Chad Mountain "for listening." A review refers to Chad Mountain as his "longtime associate," which sounds suspiciously like "longtime companion."

So who is this Chad Mountain? He grew up in Washington DC, and is first listed on the IMDB as "Marijuana Jesus" in the Gregg Araki movie Smiley Face (2007). He has 15 acting credits, including The Righteous Gemstones, four producing, and one writing: the comedy short Coming Out. A gay guy comes out to his friends, who are delighted and try to pimp him out with extravagant gay stuff: "flamboyance, impatience, a need for impeccable service, brutal honesty about other people's weight," and so on.

Chad and Matt probably became friends when they appeared together in Tropic Thunder (2008). They have also worked together in Surfer, Dude (2008), Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (2009), comedy shorts, and a sitcom pilot

Chad's instagram page is full of hints that he is gay. A fan responded to the top photo by asking for stories of "your ball hitting the water."

Left: Chad says "two living legends. I'm talking about the men, not my pecs, although those healthy B-cups are getting more notoriety every day." Is it a gay innuendo to refer to your pecs as if they are women's breasts?

Here Chad visits Matt on his 50th birthday in 2019: fans asked where his hand is and why he cropped the photo "just above the bongos."

I doubt that they are really doing sexy stuff-- Matt is married, after all.

More after the break

Wet Hot American Summer (2001) was set in a summer camp in Maine in 1981: after all of the kids have left, the counselors hold a talent show and hook up. Two guys fall in love and get married. I've never seen it, so I don't know if the sequence was performed as a homophobic joke or not.

Undaunted by the 38% Rotten Tomato rating, Netflix produced two Wet Hot tv series, a prequel and a sequel. Wet Hot American Summer: 10 Years Later catches up with the original characters and some new faces in 1991. I reviewed Episode 1.5, "King of the Camp," where pompous, snarly, mean-tempered new character Deegs (Skyler Gisondo) and regular Andy (Paul Rudd) compete for the title.

Scene 1: The camp is in session, so there are kids as well as counselors. Andy's friend points out that he was named King of the Camp every year back in the day, but now the honor goes to that mean-tempered kid, Deegs. At that moment Deegs throws some trash at them, while his friend Seth does a "fucking" gesture. So he plans to humiliate them with anal sex?

They argue. "Fuck off!" "Suck my balls." Dude, you're a 30 year old man telling a kid to suck your balls. Doesn't that sound a little odd?

Finally Andy challenges Deegs to a "King of the Camp Duel."

Scene 2: The King of Camp contest begins with drummers, acrobats, a band dressed like road warriors, and fire dancers (both ladies, darn it). The contestants are in cages, Andy dressed like a Viking and Deegs dressed like a satyr. Whoa, nice muscles, but shoving your hand into your loincloth is a little distracting. Don't worry, Skyler is 21 years old.

Scene 3: First contest: bag race. Deegs loses his bull horns but keeps the loincloth.

Scene 4: Next: get dizzy and race with an egg in a spoon.

Scene 5: The guys run across the quad for the next contest. Skyler bouncing around in that satyr outfit is still distracting. Ok, here it is: make up a song about dinosaurs. Andy gets weepy about their extinction, while Deegs sings "The Dinosaur Stomp."

Scene 6: Next: hot pepper eating. Whoops, they're tied.

Scene 7: Next: Man on Fire. The guys are set on fire, and must walk as far as they can before being overcome. Hopefully they're wearing fireproof outfits? And using stunt doubles? They both walk about five feet, and collapse at the same time. But Deegs is an inch ahead, so he wins! He hugs his bud Seth (Joey Bragg), tells Andy to "suck it," and rushes to collect his prizes.

As the loser, Andy has to endure the walk of shame, being called names and hit and kicked by the campers. He complains: "This is total bull jizz! I should have won!"

There are six other intertwining plotlines:

1. Yaron and his wife want Victor (Ken Marino) to "shove a baby into her with my penis." His problem is: he's never had sex, because "my dick has two left thumbs." His bunkmate, Neil, offers to show him how to use it. First, to increase his confidence, Neil gives him a makeover ("What do you think I've been taking those night classes at Barbizon for?").

Then he plops a mattress down and tells Victor to pretend it's a woman. "Slower...don't look like you're going to throw up...smile at her." He helps, lying on top and thrusting, until Victor has an orgasm. Ok, you guys just had a dry hump.

This is Ken Marino's bulge from the original movie. Most likely a prosthetic.

2. Suzie's boyfriend Garth (Jai Courtney, left) got an acting gig, and is leaving the camp -- and her -- for eight months in Budapest.

3. A girl tells Coop (Michael Showalter) that she doesn't want him hanging out with Katie anymore, He immediately runs into Katie, who wants to have sex with him.

4. McKinley (Michael Ian Black) discovers that his nanny, Renata, has cut all of his faces out of the couple photos, and plans to "Kill the Baby" at 2:00 pm. He rushes to tell his husband Ben (Adam Scott, left).

At that moment, she emerges with a cake. She was planning a surprise anniversary party for them! She needed the photos for an anniversary montage, and "Kill the Baby" is the band she hired! Hubbie calls him a "paranoid asshole" and rushes off. But she confesses that he was right: "I wanted to make you insane, so no one will believe you as I destroy your family."

5. Mark (Mark Feuerstein) keeps a journal of the women he's screwed, upsetting his girlfriend.

6. A journalist shows up at Mikey's door to discuss "him." His wife insists that he (Dax Shepard) not talk to anyone, or "he will kill us." Snooping in the bathroom, the journalist finds a photo of the camp from 1921, with "Ronnie Reagan" among the campers. This is 1991, just after the Reagan administration, but why would Reagan not want people to know he attended the camp?

Beefcake: Only Skyler, but he is extensively on display.

Heterosexism: Four of the seven plotlines involve heterosexual romance.

Gay Characters: McKinley and Ben.

Gay Subtexts: Victor and Neil (penis functioning plot). Deegs and Seth (camp leader plot). Neither expresses any interest in women. CIA-trained gay subtext couple Eric and Jason (Chris Pine, Jason Schwartzman) appear in later episodes.

My Grade: The contests were very impressive, and some of the plotlines were interesting, even without the back story. A-

Update: Deegs appears in three episodes, and never interacts with a girl. He is always with his best bud or in a group of guys. Plus he insults Andy constantly, usually by claiming that he has a nicer dick, but no one ever uses a homophobic slur. I'm upgrading Deegs from "maybe" to "definitely" gay subtext.

See also: Skyler Gisondo's Penis, Probably

Jason Schwartzman: Lots of quirky guys winning the Girl of their Dreams, with two gay/bi roles and one penis