Everyone in Wilton Manors saw Igby Goes Down in 2002: the trailer and the title made it sound like a gay coming-out story with a lot of "going down," har har. Actually there's no gay content at all. Igby is a sarcastic 17 year old with an institutionalized stepfather and a dying mother (first rule of fiction: somebody always must be dying or dead). He hooks up with his biological father's "heroin-addicted trophy mistress" and her "terminally bored" friend before euthanizing his mom and getting the heck out of Dodge.
Imagine sitting in the theater expecting a lot of gay sex, and seeing...this. We were so disgusted that we vowed to never see anything else that the actor appeared in. 20 years later, I didn't even remember his name.
Until I saw this nude photo from Edgerton (2025). During the COVID pandemic, small-town sheriff Joe Cross disapproves of the mayor's mask edict, so he runs against him, then kills him and his Black-Lives-Matter son, and is eventually killed himself.
I recognized him as the star of Igby, Joaquin Phoenix, still churning out downer movies.
Joaquin Phoenix is straight, with several girlfriends and a kid. And apparently homophobic; he was scheduled to play a gay guy who flees to Mexico with his boyfriend, but "got cold feet" and backed out five days before filming was to begin.
But he has a big cock, so instead of a profile, I'll check to see where he's shown it off
Beau is Afraid (2023): One of those surreal indie films with a nonsensical plot. A lot of people die, including Beau's mother, his father, a girl he is having sex with, and eventually Beau himself. We get a blurry dotado as he is being traumatized by something or other.
Napoleon (2023): The butt of the Emperor of France, who made vassal states of practically every country in Europe. And since this was the Age of Colonialism, practically every country in the world. When he wasn't having "energetic sex" with his wife and mistresses.
A butt crack (not shown) in The Master (2012): World War II vet has problems, joins a cult, drops out, has sex with women.
A backside in The Yards (2000): A union organizer goes to work for the Mob, kills some people, buddies with Mark Wahlberg, has sex with girls. Of course his girlfriend dies.
Bonus: Mark Wahlberg's backside.
Igby-style chest in Return to Paradise (1998): A tourist in Malaysia is arrested for hashish possession and sentenced to death, unless his friends turn themselves in. Vince Vaughn agrees, but Joaquin is executed anyway.
There are lots of movies where people don't die, buddy.
Wait -- what happened to Igby? From 2000 to 2003, Joaquin starred in The Yards, Gladiator, Signs, It's All About Love, Quills, and Brother Bear, but no Igby Goes Down.
Turns out that Igby was played by Kieran Culkin. A natural mistake -- the guys looked alike in their youth, and they both prefer roles in downer movies, with lots of sex with girls and people dying, often at the same time.
And both have big cocks.
Richie Rich joins a gym. With bonus Rory and Kieran cocks, and Kelvin Gemstone Comics